Your momma is so fat, I take her panties and I use it as the main sail of my yacht.

Yo mamma so fat, she got more rolls then a pastry truck!

Yo mamas so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hotdogs

Yo moma is so fat.....fat is a complement!!!!!

Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!

Yo momma is so fat the cows try get milk from her

Yo momma's so fat she puts mayonaise on asprin.

Yo momma's so fat She got more chins than a chineese phonebook.

Yo moma so fat,that she had to take her passport photo by satillite.

Yo moma so fat that her belt size is the equater

Yo momma's so fat Her blood type is Ragu.

Yo momma's so fat When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo momma's so fat She can't even jump to a conclusion.

This is a personal favourite, Yo mama is so fat she has three shirt sizes, jumbo, humongus, and "OH MY GOD IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!!"

and finaly, yo moma is so fat hen I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

10. They aren’t allowed to kick any balls
9. They have a nice stroke
8. They are used to scoring
7. When it gets hard they always pull through
6. They have a very powerful "drive"
5. They wear skirts to play games
4. They only play in teams
3. They don't mind getting dirty
2. They know how to handle their sticks and balls
1. They can go for 70 minutes in 11 different positions

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.

Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The
DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is Called
"Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or
seriously involved with someone. If t! he contestant answers "yes", he or she
is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also
asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone
number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three
questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, howe ver, several months ago made the Harbour City drop
to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard
yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you
win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."

Brian: "Sara."

DJ: "Is ! Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (l aughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that
if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred
times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work
number and call her up. You listen to this."

[3 minutes of commercials follow. ]

DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sara, shall we?" (touch tones.....ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and
I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."

Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give
any\answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate
Match'?"

Sara: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you ! up to?"

Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely
honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sara. If your
answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold
Coast for 5 days on us.

Sara: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alri ght. When did you last have sex, Sara?"

Sara: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"

Sara: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one question away from
a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"

Sara: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sara: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did y