The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given
by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read
at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop
at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying
"Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your
car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk
driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no
longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light
and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.

DO THIS!!! IT KINDA WORKS......

NO CHEATING !!!!




THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME....SORTA......




DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.


IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY

1st. Get PEN and PAPER

2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW

3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.

4th. SCROLL DOWN
ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.




1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.




2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2,
WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?










3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7,
WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.










CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT














4. WRITE ANYONE S NAME
(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6.












DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID













5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
















6. Finally,
MAKE A WISH
















ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE
KEY TO THE GAME












1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in
SPACE 2




2. THE PERSON IN SPACE
3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE





3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in
SPACE 7





4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in
SPACE 4






5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO
KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.






6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOUR
LUCKY STAR






7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE
PERSON IN NUMBER 3





8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE
PERSON IN 7






9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT
YOUR MIND





10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT LIFE





11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR
LUCKY NUMBER





PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE
WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.


IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE

LEAVE ME A COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU DID!!

A is for...
Albion - an archaic name for England or Great Britain; used poetically. The Libertines pledged to sail upon the rock'n'roll ideal of the Albion, a mythical ship, headed by Pete and Carl, a self-created romance drawing on an arch nostalgia for a certain indefinable quality of Englishness; British films and literature of the 1950s and 1960s, Hancock's Half Hour, Steptoe and Son, Chas and Dave and skiffle music. A ship en route to Arcadia, a never-never land where rock "means something".

Arcadia - a fictitious land, which was The Libertines' private world; a vision of England in which no one is tied to societal rules, and in which everyone is free to do as they wish.

A'Rebours - a novel by French author Joris-Karl Huysmans which inspired Pete to write the Baby Shambles track of the same name.

Albion Rooms - the grandly named though, in fact, run-down Bethnal Green, Victorian terraced house, where Peter and Carl rented a flat in the early days (112a Teesdale Street).

Arbeit Mach Frei - the title of a song on the second album inspired by the shockingly deceptive slogan (which translates as "work will free you" or "work makes you free"), which appeared above the iron gates of many of the Nazi death camps, such as Auschwitz, in WW2 - despite the name connection, Carl says that the song itself was not directly inspired by events at Auschwitz.

Alan McGee - The band's manager from October 2003. The Scottish music industry mogul is famed for founding the independent Creation Records label which ran from 1983 to 2000. His current project is an online-based record/multimedia company Poptones (named after a PIL track).


B is for...
Biggles - Carl's nickname, perhaps inspired by the fictional WW2 airman created by Captain W.E. Johns.

Books of Albion - the legendary series of journals/notebooks maintained by Pete - these started out as diaries but soon became a forum for Pete to explore his thoughts and poetry.

Baby Shambles - Pete's band. A name given to him by the Queens of Noize and a word that had its origin in a scrawl on the walls of the Albion Rooms.

Babyshambles Sessions - a collection of demos which were recorded by The Libertines around May 2003 while in New York. It is rumoured that Carl left halfway through the recording of these songs, leaving Peter to record the rest. There was also some help from John Hassall, where he played the bassline on one song, The Man Who Would Be King. Other songs were recorded with help from musicians Wolfman and Steve Bedlow. Although only one copy of the discs existed at the time, Peter passed the CDs to a complete stranger in the lobby at the Chelsea Hotel and asked her to share the songs with the fans. Thus, the sessions are available online for download from various sources.

Bilo - Pete's nickname.

Beano - the long running classic British comic book, as mentioned in "What a Waster".

Boy looked at Johnny, The - track #9 on Up the Brack. Also, a scathing classic meditation on punk rock published in 1978, written by Julie Burchill and Tony Parsons (NME journalists).

Basingstoke - the Hampshire town where Carl was born.

Brown - a slang term for heroin, as mentioned in the lyrics to "Can't Stand Me Now" and "Horrorshow".

Beigel Bakery - 159 Brick Lane, London, E1 - the Libertines were famously photographed outside this establishment by Roger Sargent.

Banny Poostchi - an Oxford graduate and lawyer for Warner Chappel Music Publishing, with a passion for music. The Libertines first met Banny around 2000. She saw the band had something special from the start and soon became their manager; she worked extremely hard to help the band get signed by Rough Trade, being described by Peter and Carl as a "a lady of vast ambition, like Margaret Thatcher" - she parted company with the band in October 2003.

Bright Young Things - the name of Carl's London club night.

Bernard Butler - ex-Suede guitarist/producer, he produced "What a Waster" and "Don't