DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

funny Quotes 45 days ago

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway
Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand.
Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music!!!!!!!!!

I've lost count over the years how many people I knew who have taken their own lives. I didn't write this but I think it's worth a read.....

You've decided to do it. Life is impossible. Suicide is your way out. Fine -- but before you kill yourself, consider these facts:

Suicide is not usually successful.

You know a guaranteed way? Ask the 25-year old who tried to electrocute himself. He lived. But, both of his arms are gone.

What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leapt from a building. Now, he's brain damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he knows he used to be normal.

What about pills? Ask the 12-year old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.

What about a gun? Ask the 24-year old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide.

You might too. But ... Who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse the job -- but someone has to do it. Who will cut you down from where you hung yourself, or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Or your lifeless and bloody body, Your father? Your mother? Your sister or brother? The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help. Those who loved you will never completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.

Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. You do have other choices. There are people you can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police. They will tell you there's hope. Maybe in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.

You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.

If you are reading this, steal it and put it in your site too. If you're seriously considering this permanent solution to a temporary problem, please find help. This isn't the way to go, you may think that everyone would just be better off without you, but have you ever seen a family who has lost a loved one to suicide? They're messed up, the parents usually get divorced, the siblings never talk to each other. This not only ends your life, it changes the lives of others around you, but not in a good way. There are people who love you, and people who have been through the same things as you, even though it may not seem like it at times. So please, seek help.

I hope you have realized: Suicide's not the way out. there are so many other safer ways of dealing with your problems. Maybe you think it's easier to just die. But think of what you are giving up. You're leaving your family, friends, and all the people who care about you and love you. And maybe you're not even that old yet, you have to experience life, find true love, that kind of stuff. Killing yourself isn't going to help. That's just running away from your problems, it's not solving anything, it's not making it better.

I know I can't convince you to not commit suicide, but just please think about everything a little before you do anything.

There's always someone who will be there for you to talk things through even if it seems like no one is there for you. Everything will get better, and it will be okay.

So whenever you are going to pick up that knife, or razor, just think about all the people you are leaving behind, all the memories, and all the good times.

I guess sometimes everybody feels like they want to die at lease once in their life. And you think there is no other way, just read this over.


You only get one chance at life.