1. 8:45 am is too early for us to be up.

2. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.

3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.

4. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

5. With buk, djath, and raki on the plane, we would forget why
we're there.

6. We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put
our weapons down.

7. We would all want to fly the plane.

8. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.

9. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a
week before doing it.

10. We would have put our country's flag on the
windshield!

11. We would take so long saying goodbye that wed miss the flight.

The difference between wog friends and auzzie friends.

AUSSIE FRIENDS: Never ask for food
WOG FRIENDS : Are the reason you have no food.
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
WOG FRIENDS : Call your parents mom and dad.
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
WOG FRIENDS : Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we fucked up...but that shit was fun!"
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
WOG FRIENDS : Cry with you.
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
WOG FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget it's yours.
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
WOG FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
WOG FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
WOG FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
WOG FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of ‎that, you know we don't waste!!"
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
WOG FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
WOG FRIENDS: Are for life.
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AUSSIE FRIENDS: Will read this.
WOG FRIENDS: Will steal this, just like i did

1. You think you know everything.
2. You have an Albanian eagle tattoo on your arm with your last name written in old English.
3. There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway.
4. Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8 miles in 5 feet of snow barefoot up hills and mountains just to go to school.
5. Raki is like holy water in your house you use it to cure all illnesses.
6. You wear an Armani shirt when you work out or go to the gym.
7. The only cigarettes you smoke are Marlboro reds and the only beer u drink is Heineken.
8. You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for shooting your 9 mm in the middle of the street during the wedding gathering.
9. You claim every famous person is part Albanian.
10. There has been a time when you were in Albanian Chat for 7 straight hours.
11. You open up a million dollar business and if it doesn't work out you burn it down and collect insurance.
12. At least one time in your life you have owned a BMW M3.
13. You have at least one cousin who's in jail for murder.
14. Whenever you're with an Albanian and you don't know his name you just call them "ej Shqipe".
15. All of your dad’s co-workers know the history of Albania and Albanians.
16. You didn't pass kindergarten because your parents never taught you how to speak English.
17. You start smoking at the age of 13.
18. Your grandfather wears that white egg looking Albanian hat (republike).
19. You own a leather jacket.
20. You either own a restaurant, Coney Island, pizzeria, building or Construction Company.
21. You have at least one aunt or uncle who lives in the Bronx.
22. Your father is always trying to unite the Albanian community.
23. You drive the most expensive car at your school.
24. Your neighbours understand words like "ja qisha nanen" and " te rafte pika".
25. All the hot Albanian guys/girls are somehow related to you.
26. You go to Albanian parties just to show off.
27. You have at least one weapon hidden in your house.
28. You can be killed in a blood feud and be known as a family hero.
29. Your car has an Albanian flag tag, one hanging on the mirror and some more inside.
30. Your favourite hockey player is Tie Domi just because he’s Albanian.
31. You met your future husband/wife on albachat.
32. You are known to vandalize nightclubs with your boys and cousins.
33. You can hear your mom and dad talking 3 blocks away from your house.
34. You have more alcohol in your house then the local bar.
35. You invite 1,000 people to your wedding and you only know 300 of them.
36. Your 30 and your mom still makes your bed and does your laundry.
37. Half of the people you know are your cousins.
38. Your uncle makes wine that’s stronger than 151.
39. You have at least one relative that your family got in a fight with.
40. Your dad’s friends give you raki when you are 8.
41. You have enough food in the refrigerator to feed the whole neighbourhood.
42. You have all the new cell phones before they even come out.
43. Your mom makes byrek every Sunday, fasule every Friday, and of course bakllava every New Years.
44. You know everything about all your relatives.
45. Your mom never throws away leftovers; she gives them to your dad at night or the next day.
46. You have at least ten friends named Genti.
47. Your grandma tells you farting is good for your health.
48. Your brothers and cousins beat up random guys just because they were looking at you.
49. Every time you tell your mom you are not hungry she thinks you're sick.
50. You're broke and still manage to visit Albania at least once a year.
51. You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.
52. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal.
53. All your children have nick names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
54. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
55. Your mom tells you you're too skinny