1. No kids, I do NOT enjoy counting out €1.46 worth of jellies when there's a long ass queue.
2. People who stay on the phone when they come to the counter.
3. People who come to the hatch when there's a long queue inside, I'm not gonna serve ya like so there's no point bangin on the window.
4. People who chain order, par example - transaction completed you give them their change then they say oh and 20 john player, then after you give them their change for that they say oh and a 4 euro quick pick. ......... aghgghghggghhrrrr.
5. People who ignore my outstretched palm waiting to recieve the money and throw it all over the counter instead. What the fuck like? Dya think I was waiting for a low five or something???
5.2 People who throw money on the counter anyways as they count it out. Why like just why??
5.3. If you throw the money at me I'll throw your change back at you.
6. People who skip the queue to leave their petrol money on the counter. Life's a queue, GET OVER IT!
6.2. Impatient people.... do fuck off. Just because I'm waiting for a credit card to go through doesn't mean i can serve the next person. Dumbass.
7. No I am not the minister for finance - I do not make the prices for cigarettes or petrol so complaining to me is pretty damn pointless.
7.2. Actually complaining to me about anything is pretty dam pointless. What am I gonna do like!
8. No I cannot check your oil.
9. If you're smart enough to drive you're smart enough to pump your own petrol.
10. No I do not know where *random furniture warehouse/Macroom* is.
11. No we DONT HAVE AN ATM.
12. If you're smart enough to use a mobile phone you're smart enough to get your own credit outta the credit machine (and also put the credit into the phone yourself.)
13. People who wait til you've everything scanned in and then say, oh shit i forgot the milk and go off to get it.
14. No kids, calling me a variety of horrible things will not get u rizla or fags.
15. The toilet is locked. I don't have the key. (if your a kid, or a junkie)
16. I do not, believe it or not, know how much everything is off the top of my head so don't shout at me from the back of the shop asking how much the god dammned cheese is.
16.2. Same for the "How Much Are Them" kids. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.
17. Please and thank you are the magic words. If you don't say em neither do I.
18. If you spill an entire bottle of lilt, please let someone now, dont leave it there to get sticky.
19. No old men, even if you do happen to win the lotto I don't want to be taken out to dinner.
20. It isn't MY fault if YOUR credit card gets declined.
21. I only get paid til 11, which means im out the door at 11, therefore dont expect us to be open at 5 to. And banging at the shutters and yelling doesn't make us reopen either.
22. Yes I have a panic button. Silent alarm. oh yehhh
23. No the papers are not ready at five past 8 on a Sunday morning.
24. It's 22cent for a plastic bag.
23. Can't sell wine after 10. And no amount of "Oh REALLY?? I thought that was just the off licences....." is going to change that.
24. And as for people in pjyamas... GET DRESSED!
25. Please don't cough/sneeze into the hand holding your money then give it to me.
25.2. Please don't cough/sneeze on me, I'm actually a human who WILL get sick. And I always am sick thanks to those Germans.
26. When the light is off in the deli, when there is no deli staff there, when all the salads and everything are wrapped up, NO YOU CANT GET A ROLL MADE UP. And just standing by the deli is gonna make it magically open for you.
27. The milk for the coffee is in the deli fridge, please ask for it. Do not feel free to take a litre of milk out of the drinks fridge, open it up, use a drop, then just leave it there. Its called ummmm stealing. Idiot
28. Stupid questions! If there are no echos left, which is plain to see, asking me "No echos left , nah?" is not gonna produce one. Its not like I hide papers behind the counter and wait for pe

The false start
-Breakfast at Aoife's suas Fred's and the quad
The firebox (and smokebox)
"WHOAHjez christ"
"Classy Sandwich"
"I use alota poo words dont I"
"Digerydoooooooooooooooooooo"
Wet n wild
Mike's face when i came down the slide head first holding my ring rather than on it!!!
The way the taxi people never understood a word sean said.
The amount of pizza that was devoured.
Sean walking to the beach on his own without tellin anyone!
Atlantic
Vibe
Dusk
-Sean n Claudia getting kicked out for fighting
Mike getting lost for hours
The useless taxi driver that had us lost for an hour!
My verbal speech problems
"Yarrr", "yarrrr"...... "yoink!!"
The beach and bumper cars
"we obviously need testicles to make this thing turn"
My falling down the steps in Blu Bamboo (still have the brusies)
The amount of vodka we consumed... unhealthy
The Metrocentre!!!! Every girls DREAM!
The last night
-"You know its been a good night when the room is full of golden nuggets and condoms"
-"Its hoobastank!!!"
Tony's condom and naughty magazine collection
The book room!!!!!


leave comments!!!!!!!!!

Upon noticing a big puddle -
Sinéad: "Oooh looks like somebody spilled their drink."

(Me texting sinead) "oh no, iv just swallowed my chewing gun"

David (AKA 'Hally') What the fuck?? Where the fuck am I?? *3bottles of stolen beer clinking* Where did these hills and trees come from??
-last time I get him to walk me home

Sinéad: I hate Peaches Geldof. Im glad i just heard she kissed the Blarney Stone coz my Dad pissed on it.

Everyone!: OMGEROFL!

Wierd Guy: So... Do you come here often?
Aoife: Did you actually just say that?
Wierd Guy: You have great tits.

Aoife: After a full time of drinking it!

Me: Pull down my pants!!

Me: "You can, if you're stimulated by a baby."
Aoife and Ciaran: "WHAT?!"
- i was on bout breast feeding... nevermind.

Me: "Listen to Sinead's story she tells it better, listen now, listen....."
Sinead: .........
Christine: "Tell the story!"
Sinead: "Christine... I can't remember it!"

Sean: "Cherries are red fm."
Everyone else: "......... "

Sean: "Are you K-O backwards?!
Anton: "Is she knocked out?! Out Knocked?! Are you out knocked?!"

Me: You're drinking blue!!!!!!!!!!!

Sinead: Mrs Frumpy-Dowdypants!!

Aoife: Rubbery. Lovely. Goodnight.

Feck my ass!!

Claudia: I have the 7th sense.

Me: I hope that bus isnt fuckin late.
Sinead: Dont swear is front of the kid!!!! (points to a tot in a trolley in front of us staring with her innocent lil eyes)
Me: Shit

Me: "Claudia, you have a hole" (in her sleeve)
Claudia: "I got a hole!!!!!"
(On the phone) "Do you wanna talk to me, cos.. I got a hole??"

Me: Uggghhh this smells disgusting!!! Listen to it!!
- as i hold out a tube of mascara to Aoife and Sinead.

Me: "Cá bhfuil na buachailí té?
Sinéad: "Tá siad imithehehe he"

Please sir, could you dismount the banister

"What? Im gonna leave my education, *points at pint*, just coz youre horny?"
-well put sinead, well put. pity you werent in a lecture like you thought you were

"Yknow Aoife, there was a small clock with the candle thing and the big clock?? No... wait... she was a wardrobe."

"The longer you wait, the nicer the bread!"
- i meant to say something to the effect of - abcence makes the heart grow fonder- oh well

me!!: "I'm on the road!..... I'm on the road!.......I'm ON the road!..... I'M on the road!.................I'm ON THE ROAD!...... I'm on the road!"
-never could get that kings of leon song


Niamh: " i keep thinking i see u and keep nearly going up to that person and a t the last minute i realise its not you"
Me: Why??
Niamh: "She has the same scarf as you..."


"BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG CHHHHHH.... CHHHH... BANG BANG BANG BANG CHH CHHH...."
-me aoife and sinead

Una: Christine, can u walk strraight??
Pisshead Walshy: (stumbling down the road): of course i can, im not a homosexual!!


" the hairy fuckin lemon or somethin"
- i cant remember who said that but it was hilarious

"why doesnt he fuck off and do the fuckin tour de france or somethin"
-sinead

"...do u want to share it?!"
-it was too big to handle i spose... the feckIn LAST COCKTAIL SAUSAGE

Aoife: ...Then they grow tomatoes outta u! Then someone will look at them and say, arent they lovely tomatoes.
-our afterlife shall be tomatoey

Aoife: She had to find my womit!!
... poor sinead

Everyone: Booooooooo wat wat wat , booooooooooooooooooooo wat wat wat

Sinead: Omg she's buttering her toast like wheyo captain jack!!!!
-u go claudia!!!

Aoife: omg, there's mange-tout all over the floor!
-disaster in the kitchen!!!

Eric: i want to be a dinosaur when i grow up.

Aoife: and this like 88yr old woman says to me "fuck you" !!!
Me: That'l be sinead when she grows up...
Sinead: Fuck you!!!

niamh: michelstown... where kerrymaid is made.


(noelle sharing her ag science knowledge on cows on the bus home from justin)
nel: thats a fresian, and thats an aberdeen angus.
me: oooo. whats that brown o