If you are very thirsty and have just brought a drink in, wherever it is i will
manage to spill it all over the living room floor.



Any food that is served in a bowl or on a plate should be tipped up and thrown
everywhere.


Cbeebies is the ONLY channel to be on MY tv and i am the only one who can
switch the tv on and off.


I will roll away when your changing my nappy even when you dangle silly
toys and sing pointless ryhmes to distract me..


I will always look you in the eyes when you have told me NO and try
to make you laugh!..


I will make a mess whether you like it or not!..


If i cant get my own way i will ssssssssccccccccccrrrrrrrrreeeeeee
 eaaaaaaaammmmmmmm!..


i will only stop banging the kitchen cupboard doors if you let me break
another plate.....


i will always switch off the hoover when you are cleaning


i will ALWAYS lose my hat/dummy/shoes/socks/toys (by throwing it out of the pushcair).


even though mummy's the one who cleans/changes/feeds/slaves over me,
i will still show more love to daddy


I will pull hair and laugh


Paper is the tastiest substance known to toddler, along with carpet fluff,
old cheerios discovered in some far flung corner of the lviing room and
anything mummy has on her plate (this does not mean I will swallow it, but
I will chew it!)


If you say no I will deffinately do it even more!


I will ignore all of my toys to play with anything I'm not allowed to
and then scream if you take it away from me


If it is not rubbish, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the bin, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.


If Mummy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mummy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.


If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

i hearby vow to get hold of everything i shouldn't have, including phones,
mobiles, remote controls and fiddling with the freeview box.


I will promptly have a tantrum if my toy is stuck and I cant get it



The remote control is MY TOY


I will climb on top of all things you leave lying around, that includes
chairs, table and of course all of my toys.... even if they do have wheels
on them!!!!!


If you think i'm lying down for that nappy change think again buster.


Toys with around 100 pieces do not belong in the toy box, they need to be
very carefully spread all over the living room so mummy steps on them


Mashed potato must be dropped on the carpet and rubbed in.


When you think I'm asleep and you've just started watching the
programme you've been waiting for all week I will wake up hysterically
screaming for no apparant reason.


if its in one piece it should be broken!


if i am fed up with my food, i have the right to a) mush it up and rub
it in my hair, and b) throw on the floor

What is Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD)?


The two halves of your pelvis are connected at the front by a stiff joint called the symphysis pubis. This joint is strengthened by a dense network of ligaments which means that under normal conditions, very little movement occurs. In order to make your baby's passage through your pelvis as easy as possible, your body produces a hormone called relaxin, which softens the ligaments in your pelvis. As a result, these joints move more during and just after pregnancy.

We are not sure exactly what causes SPD but current thinking indicates that if one side of the pelvis moves more than the other when you walk or move your legs, this can lead to pain and inflammation at the symphysis pubis. X-rays and scans may not diagnose the problem as this rotation does not show up on most scans. Many women with SPD experience significant pain without any great separation of the joint -- the amount of pain isn't related to the degree of separation.

A related condition is diastasis symphysis pubis (DSP) in which the pubic joint loosens and leaves an abnormally wide gap between the two pelvic bones. The average gap between the bones in a non-pregnant woman is 4-5mm and during pregnancy it's normal for this gap to widen by 2-3mm. If the gap is 10mm or more, DSP is diagnosed. This is a rare condition and can only be diagnosed by X-Ray.

When does it happen?

SPD can occur towards the end of the first trimester or after delivery. Many women notice their symptoms for the first time around the middle of their pregnancy. If you experience SPD in one pregnancy, it is more likely that it will reoccur in your next pregnancy. The symptoms may also come on earlier and progress faster, so it is important to seek help as early as possible. It can help if you allow the symptoms from one pregnancy to settle before trying to conceive another child.

What are the symptoms?


Pain in the pubic area and groin are the most common symptoms. You may also suffer from back pain in pregnancy, Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) or hip pain. It is common to feel a grinding or clicking in your pubic area and the pain may travel down the inside of the thighs or between your legs. The pain is usually made worse by separating your legs, walking, going up or down stairs or moving around in bed. It is often much worse at night and can stop you getting much sleep. Getting up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night can be especially painful.

How is it diagnosed?


SPD is becoming more widely understood by GPs, obstetricians and midwives. Your doctor or midwife should refer you to a physiotherapist from the Association of Chartered Physiotherapists in Women's Health, who will have experience in treating this complaint. It is diagnosed by a combination of your own description of symptoms and a series of tests designed to look at the stability, movement and pain in your pelvic joints.

How is it treated?


A pelvic support belt can often give quick relief. Exercises -- especially for the tummy and pelvic floor muscles -- form a large part of the treatment and are aimed at improving the stability of your pelvis and back. You may need mobilisation (a gentler form of manipulation) of your hip, back or pelvis to correct any underlying movement dysfunction. Hydrotherapy (exercise in water) and acupuncture can sometimes be useful. Surgery is only used to treat the most severe DSP cases and is often unsuccessful.

LITTLE TEAPOT

I'm a size challenged teapot, small in stature and generous of girth

Here is my non-judgemental holding device and here is my non-pressurised,saftey device enabled, fluid releasing orifice

When I feel temperature augmented and in need of external expression

then I exclaim in an elevated decibel, yet non-threatening verbal tone
Adjust my angle and release my non-caffeinated, dairy free organic contents.


BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP

Baa baa non-predominantly hued ruminant mammal,

Have you any delightful protective outer covering for sale at a fair and reasonable price?
<
Yes non-gender specific manager, yes non-gender specific manager,

three aged challenged females with slightly unfriendly personas full.

One for the non-gender specific manager,

one for his or her non-gender specific partner,

(not that there's anything wrong with that),

And one for the youthful non-gender specific, vertically challenged individual who lives down the lane


3 BLIND MICE



3 visually impaired rodents
3 visually impaired rodents
see how they run, see how they run
they all ran after the agriculturalist's life partner
who in a non-aggressive way advised then they were invading her personal space
have you ever heard such a thing in your life as
3 visually impaired rodents.