Random quiz, stolen from Eddie...

EIGHT LASTS:
8. last cigarette: An hour ago, boo me...
7. last beverage: Water, still drinkin it.
6. last phone call: IRD regarding child support, yay money!
5. last text message: Laura P, telling her not to drive and text...
4. last cd played: Baby Dub from my neighbours, yay!
3. last BUBBLE bath: Hehehehe, at Amber's place
2. last time you cried: During that radio play on NZ Nat, I am a sook
1. last meal: Weetbix.

SEVEN have you's: There's only 6 and one is crap... wha?
7. have you ever?: ...yes?
5. have you ever kissed someone & regretted it?: Sadly yes.
4. have you ever fallen in love?: Yes!
3. have you ever lost someone?: Yup.
2. have you ever been depressed: Clinically, sigh.
1. have you ever been drunk and threw up? Haha yeah... Never again!

SIX things you did in the past three days:
1. Went to school: Nope! Wait I visited Vic Uni, does that count?
2. Went to work: Nope! Haha home is my work...
3. Colored: My nails! Yay fun!
5. Got drunk: Nope, I'm a chandy grrl....
6. Slept: Ha ha, not enough!

list FIVE people you can tell pretty much anything to --
1. Phil
2. Amber
3. Eric
4. My dog.
5. Bella, cos she doesn't know what I'm saying!

list THREE favorite colors.
1. Blue
2. Pink
3. Red (Black is not a colour, booo)

list TWO things you want to do before you die -
1. Visit Sicily
2. Get married, properly in a friggin Church with all the trimmings. I will not be unionised!

Have you...

Made a new friend -
Heaps!!!

Fallen out of love -
Nope. Not really, fell out of lust. Love lasts forever.

Laughed until you cried -
Yes, and Kat used to laugh at me and made me laugh harder, Laughatitus is a serious condition!!!

Went behind your parents back-
Sigh. This thing so doesn't know me.

Met someone who changed your life-
Yes. Hi Phil!

Gotten close to someone-
Hehehe, how close? Of course I have.

Found out who your true friends were-
Sadly yes, many times.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF

1. Bush?:
I love it. Natural but cultivated thanks!

2. Gay Marriage?:
Yes! Hardcore yes. No unionising for me! Married before God all the way.

3. Lowering the drinking age?:
Nope, 21 thanks!

4. Straight, Gay, Bi?:
Gay-ish. Why label me?! I love the men that I've had in my life, I just don't want any more...

5. Who is the best hugger that you know?:
Oh poo... Phil is the worst... Haven't met the ultimate hugger yet. Jo-Anne was pretty damn good tho.

6. Do you believe in love at first sight:
Yup. Well lust...

7. Is there something you want to tell someone:
Yes, but I never will.

8. What kind of shirt are you wearing?
Spiderman gay-boy shirt...

9. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
Yes, tee he he

10. How many people on your top friends do you know in real life?:
All of them I think, except maybe hot laura...

11. How many kids do you want to have?:
Four

12. Do you have a good relationship with your parent [s]?:
Yes-ish.

13. Do you wanna change your name?:
I have too many already! But officially yes, for Nanny.

14. What did you do for your last birthday?:
I cried in bed. Got stoned. Ate chips.

15. What time did you wake up today?
6ish, to crying babies...

16. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Hahahaha! Wouldn't you like to know? I was following instructions...

17. Name something you CANNOT wait to do:
See my sister again!!!!!!!! I so so miss you Kat darling!

18. Last time you saw your Father/Mother?
A few hours ago, I live next door/with them... Sigh

19. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?
I wish I had one of my degrees! I wish I still had pumpkin. And sometimes dollface. Sometimes. Hahaha!

20. Which hand do you like better?
Right one, I'm right handed...

21.What are you listening to right now?
My snoring dog.

22. Have you ever donated money to a good cause?
Yup, and time!

23. Have you ever talked about someone behind their b

Ok, so we've all been to balls before right? Right-ish...

I've been to three, the first two were costume balls and the last I was going through a goth-phase so I never EVER bought a ball dress.

What do I do?! I have no monies, can I borrow a pretty dress from some lovely person, just for one night? I could wear a suit of course, but I'm feeling girly...

Help!

So I've been re-reading Alison Bechdel's graphic novel Fun Home, styled as a 'Tragi-Comic' and it's got me thinking.

How bad is it to live a lie?

In Fun Home Bechdel explores the art of 'artifice' through her Father, a man who seemed to create his own fiction, or perhaps confuse it, with his own life. A man who quite probably orchestrated his own death, he becomes inexplicably linked to Bechdel's own maturity in their corresponding sexuality's. Unlike Bechdel, who has made her name as a lesbian author, her father chose to hide his sexual identity in this self-made 'web of lies'. Obviously for all those affected, the book shows how damaging this was to all those close to him.

But how bad is it? The worst and possibly most common lie is of course, "I don't lie." We all do, it keeps us going, makes us human even. Simple, little white lies that make the world an easier place to understand, to cope with. Myths, legends, stories perhaps - create them yourself and you've got a lie right? Maybe. Constructing your own, possibly more exciting, maybe a little sexier - most likely more acceptable history is all too common in New Zealand. And I'm not just talking sexuality here, race, religion - even who we vote for, are all carefully tailored to the individuals present. I'm guilty of this, as most are - why for example, do I claim the family nose comes from Italian heritage, when there is much evidence to say it it's a Jewish thing? Am I worried about those implications? Afraid of being stereotyped (another set of useful lies)? Is it a family prejudice that has been inherited?

Or do I just think being Italian will make me a little bit sexier?

Who knows. Does it matter if it never hurts anyone? One day it'll trip you up and you'll look like a berk, so perhaps Karma (another lie?) might be watching.

But what of the lies that do hurt people, even if you never know? It took a man who I loved whole heartedly to tell me that I was gay. I felt as though I had invested everything I could into him, it was possibly the healthiest relationship (and happiest) I'd ever had with a man. But he knew, even if I didn't, that deep down I was living a lie, and as manly as he is, I'm sure that had to hurt. I've tried since to be straight, been medicated even - but regardless of how happy and oblivious I am to those I'm around, in the end, the lies take their toll.

Bechdel's tale is woven with fiction, books that help to illustrate her points most strongly, stories mainly of people, of humans. Perhaps to be human, we have to lie. But it should never hurt people.