..started off slow had 2 regain everything all again but didnt take long but this time there was no holding back, didnt havta hide the way we felt any longer..we grew closer and closer thinkin we couldnt grow any closer than that but we did, it was december..xmas approaching and everything was the best between us finally found the one id looked for for so long, yes was very hard not seeing eachother but we stayed strong knowing it wouldnt be long, yano jus a lil longer..then i heard about this one night he was at a pub..its a long story but he was a tad tipsy lol stood on a chair and made a speech about me <3 he prob still feels embarrassed but it was the most romantic thing anyone has done..then there was another night, i was gettin ready to go out with friends and he tx me saying when u can listen to this song..soon as i got in i listened to it..it was Jennifer Hudson’s Giving myself..one of the most beautiful songs, things only got better between us, and the time had finally arrived when we said those 3 magical words to eachother..we’d sent tons of songs too many 2list lol but for instance..Quote fallin 4u.. and the best one DNH Because i love you, and that was how he told me he loved me with that song..i asked the brave Q jus so i was sure...and he said ‘’ NyNy pinky blushaa lol beeeyeewtarrful laydee i love u’’.. from then on i thought nothing can ruin this its the best ever. Xmas was coming up and yes i was finding it hard not bein with him and seeing him but i made plans for my 21st birthday,,i had a whole wk planned where he’d come up spend my birthday with me and my brithday night out, was guna be amazing, ok so months and months..like 3 lol were passing growing closer and closer and i tried not 2 get my hopes up just incase cus i was so scared it wouldnt happen but he assured me it would and promised so i believed him. Then things started to happen, im not explainin it as its personal but it started to seem as if everythin was going wrong, but still all the way thru he assured me he’d be here so i carried on believing, what made it more special was that he wouldnt tell me when he was guna be here or what time or where he’d pop up jus to know he would and in time for my birthday..i was so excited but also extremely scared..then my worse nightmare started to happen once again, i found out the day he’d actually left to make his way to me..but he was called back and he turned around :’( he had his reasons so i couldnt blame him but i was devastated, that week was supposed 2 b ours, waking up on my birthday was the worst, i was supposed 2 b waking up in his arms..instead i woke up with tears in my eyes..i didnt wana see anyone jus wanted to be alone but i couldnt i had to put on the brave face iv used to many times, the week up to my night out was goin slowly..i just wanted this week to end..i couldnt wait to be 21 now i couldnt wait 4 people to forget it, he said sorry countess times but it wasnt his fault, i didnt blame him, my friend was coming down from Essex for my birthday night out and he sent his birthday present for me to her so she could give it so me before the week was over. It was a small box wrapped in glittery pink (my fav colour) and a star tag ( my fave shape) i opened it up to find a beautiful heart shaped necklace..it was amazing i put it on staight away i loved it..i had my birthday night out but it was full of alcohol and tears i had too many emotions to deal with all this.. few days after i was finally glad it was all over starting to get back on track and planning when i could see him next..things were ok, a week had past and it was ok yano..he said ‘ill speak to 2moz ill b on at some point xxx’ so next day come and the next day and the next week.. i still hadn’t heard from him i was so worried and angry i cant explain it but kept thinkin to myself he’ll be back soon wont be long..then i got a short brief message sayin sorry and all that but not fully explai

Started off so innocent, i saw his face flash up on the screen on myspace randomly.. he looked stunning..beautiful yano the kinda beautiful a man could b but also way outta my league..add as friend?..message? i did both, and 2 yrs later yes i still keep those first few messages we sent..well all of them actually <3..a month later he replied..i smiled so much! was so nervous and excited all by a message lol its crazy but i new this man was the man i would fall in love with..the one id be with..my prince charming, he was everythin i could ever wish for all in one man..too good 2 b true..for about a month we non stopped talked..litt everyday and night..til like 4am sometimes random chats on msn but the whole time i had a smile on my face all cause of him <3..we had the kinda bond that was like no other..we become best friends and wer like one person, we wer so alike in some ways..new what he was thinkin what i was, didnt havta speak about anything in particular could b the randomest things u could think of and he'd still make me laugh..still make me miss him if i couldnt speak 2 him every day.. i wanted him i wanted 2 tell him i wanted 2 b with him but living so far apart, having never met eachother i never thought i ever stood a chance so i held back i flirted yea but never truly told him how i felt..thats when my worst nightmare happened..he met someone..not going into details but getting engaged and all that, thought that was it but the bond never changed we wer still as strong but so wer my feelings for him and everyday i prayed he'd choose me but that was jus a dream.. the biggest turn in my life was wen i was on holiday and i truly realised i loved him, and wondered does he love me too? at this point he was single again but still no 'over it' i guess yano we grew closer..told eachother how we felt in songs sending to eachother and it become clear what was happenin <3 but then after a short while i realised he was still in love with another..which is fair enough i could expect him not to be.. but i took the risk telling him how i felt..i risked the friendship..so yea they got back together and my world fell apart, i lost a friend cus no matter how hard i tried i couldnt speak or act the same around him and pretend like i was ok with not being with him n being jus friends..i was breaking up inside..all he had 2 do was say hello and i cried..i missed the way things wer and sometimes wished i never risked it at all..things wer dodgy but i thought to myself i let him go..if its meant to be he'l come back to me, and what happened?
TBC.. (soon as i can hold my tears long enough to type :'( </3)

You're the bravest of hearts, you're the strongest of souls
You're my light in the dark, you're the place I call home
You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside
I see it in your eyes
Even you face the night afraid and alone
That's why I'll be there

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
If that's what it takes

You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain
When your heart's crying out, baby, whisper my name
'Cause I've reached out for you when the thunder is crashing up above
You've given me your love
When your smile like the sun that shines through the pain
That's why I'll be there

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end
I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break
Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes
I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed
I will lay down my life, if that's what you need
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes

Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire
When the fear rises up, when the wave's ever higher
I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul
I will hold on all night and never let go
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes

If that's what it takes
Every day
If that's what it takes
Every day