Cunty

They call me Cunty. And I tell you this one for free:
Grumpy didn't have shit on me.

When Humpty Dumpty had his great fall.
I was the one dragged his fat arse up on that wall.
He had it coming. That egg had a big mouth.
Of that no-one had a shred of doubt.

The three blind mice saw 20-20
Until they perved on me and Sleeping Beauty.
So she was asleep, whats the big deal?
The broad's comatose. She can't squeal.

Here's one ya probably didn't know.
The hunter chickened out, succumbed to his woes.
I was the one shot Bambi's mother.
I laughed my ass off as I watched that kid blubber.

The muse to each of the wicked witches.
The poison apple bit, that was mine. Had myself in stitches.
Every evil godmother learned from me,
Not a one of them have made the grade, as twisted as Cunty.

The hundred acre wood didn't appreciate the logging company I brought in.
"Second star to the right and straight on til mornin";
Blabbing out that secret got my ass kicked by Peter Pan,
As well as a life time ban from his Neverneverland.

Damsel's in distress are my speciality,
I've hit em all, they all fall before me.
I've buggered Beauty, after besting her Beast.
Growpted Gretel, her sweet bits were a real feast.
I've rim jawed Rapunzel. The hair's the same downstairs.
Once I sodomised Cinderella. Shes just the help, nobody cares.

Your dwarves, why do you need Seven?
One for every deadly sin?
My diaries full trying to fit them in.

Name: Jeremy Peter Oliver Walker
Birthday: 7/3/85 at 1:55pm
Birthplace: cottage hospital drawda
Current Location: dundalk. its fundalk now didnt u no?
Eye Color: blue (however, and im not taking the piss, My eyes DO change colour. sumtimes they turn green)
Hair Color: black at the mo. in the last year its been natural brown, blonde, bleech blonde, blue black, purple, bright bublegum blue and vibrant red
Height: 6'1
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: I'm a very proud Irishman(no that does not mean I'm an IRA head)
The Shoes You Wore Today: black vans with red bats
Your Weakness: thinking too much
Your Fears: loosing control, being restrained
Your Perfect Pizza: Can i have the carnivore special please, and keep the rabit food eh?
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:finish my batman sleeve and get another tat that i wont reveal til its finished
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: loadsa xxxxxxxxxx's
Thoughts First Waking Up: I wonder what lies they'll tell us all today.......?
Your Best Physical Feature: my six pack is no more since i stopped hittin the wieght bench so much so im gona go with the tattoo
Your Bedtime: whenever i wrapped around someone warm and cosy
Your Most Missed Memory: Living in Canada, eh?
Pepsi or Coke: diet coke... What? I like the taste better ok? For the last time, IM NOT GAY!
MacDonalds or Burger King: burger king... flamegrilled triple xl whopper
Single or Group Dates: single. only cowards group date
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: thats an obscure question.
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: ever try a baileys coffee?
Do you Smoke: nope
Do you Swear: yes. i swear particularly well tho
Do you Sing: if its singstar and preferably very VERRY drunk
Do you Shower Daily: yus
Have you Been in Love: yes. most ppl dont no what love is but i no i hav felt it
Do you want to go to College: fuck yeah for as long as possible. i hav to beat my sis' record. 10 YEARS!
Do you want to get Married: 1 day i will have the best wedding ever. i insist that the preacher MUST have torrets syndrome!
Do you belive in yourself: Infatically yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: depends how drunk YOU ARE! Dont suppose ur drunk are you?
Are you a Health Freak: Nope, i believe in takin care of urself tho, as long as it doesnt infringe on what u like to do
Do you get along with your Parents: ask me if and when u ever REALLY get to know me
Do you like Thunderstorms: oh god yes. fork lightening is the best
Do you play an Instrument: i play my instrument well and often. wud u like a go?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: in the past month in the past decade, week day hour minute and about four seconds yes
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nothing hard. never anything hard
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yeah
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yip
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: not in the last month no
In the past month have you been Dumped: Never
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: i am now
Ever been called a Tease: yeah, but i didnt deserve that. i only tease DURING sex. im a real prick. .......Get it? oh never mind...
Ever been Beaten up: 3 cracked ribs, bruised kidneys, black eyes, several lip and nose bleeds and 3 fractures say yes
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: i dont intend to die. thats for sapps
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: honestly? i still wanna be a pro wrestler. that and own my own comicbook/alternative clothes store
What country would you most like to Visit: back to canada
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: funky blues purples are the best but it depends on the person. never been big on blondes.
Short or Long

1. Sung in the shower?: yup
2. Spit in someone's Drink?: nope
3. Played with Barbie? if ya count tearing their heads off
4. Made someone cry?: yup, unfortunately
5. Opened your Christmas presents early?: always open em on christmas eve.
6. Lied to a friend?: yes, but nothing i havent later told them the truth on
7. Broken a bone?: 3 fingers, both arms and one leg
8. Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times? most probably yes
9. Played a Computer game for more than 5 hours?: good old battlefront
10. Ran through the sprinklers naked?:nope
11. Went outside naked?: nope
12. Flashed somebody?: Nope
13. Mooned somebody?: nope
14. Been on stage?: yup
15. Been on stage naked or close to it?: Nope
16. Been in a parade? yus
17. Been in a school play?: in the marys? eh, no
18. Drank beer? yip. icky stuff
19. Gotten detention?: yup but i went all rebel rebel and walked.
20. Broken into a house?: my own
21. Gotten a tattoo?: yus, gettin it finished tomoro
22. Gotten piercings?: Yup. 11.
23. Gotten into a fist fight?: not since school daze but yes and i dont recomend it.
24. Gotten into a shouting match?: yup
25. Swallowed sea/pool water?: yea
26. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?: yup its fun.
27. Laughed so hard it hurt?: All the time.
28. Tripped on your own feet?: All the time im doing it.
29. Had sex with more then one person in a day?: No.
30. Cried yourself to sleep?: yup
31. Cried in public?: yus
32. Thrown up in public?: nope
33. Cried so hard you threw up?: nope
34. Gone skinny dipping: Nope
35. Burned an ant with a magnifying glass: Nope
36. Been in a car crash: nope
37. Watched someone die: unfortunetly yeah. a suicide of a bridge
38. think your hot? not bloody likely
39. In love? no as much as i might wana be
40. Want kids? definitely some time