YOU KNOW YOUR PAPUA NEW GUINEAN WHEN.......

*Still scolded and cursed by your parents as if you were 2 years old.

*You still live with your parents even though your 30

*You go to a party and everyone's wearing Floral, Pacific shirts and think there in Hawaii

*There is an accident and you are the only one laughing.

*Asked for the time, you say, "tree tirty" instead of "Three Thirty."

*You have Buai for Lunch & pretend that your busy or you had a heavy breakfast when asked to join.

*You share one cigarette with five other people

*Your Mother gives your father Black eyes

* You have about 3 families living in one house

* Still kept on drinking even though you could barely talk and walk

*You find a 6 year old kid still in nappies playing in front of the house.

*Being brutally bashed with a leather belt or broom is considered discipline not child abuse and you had to go fetch it your self

*At any major function, instead of a plate, your food comes in a plastic Container

*You see someone chasing a kid around the house with a Broom

*You run into a mountain of Slippers blocking the front door.

*Your staple diet is rice and tin fish or Ox & palm.

*You ask for some gel to put in your hair before you go out and your Mum throws you a bottle of Baby Oil or Coconut oil instead.

*You have a huge gap between your first two toes, (excessive thong wear...)

*Swimming pool is filled with people wearing t-shirts, (Females)

*When you went to Primary School, your daily lunch consisted of last night's leftovers or breakfast

*You can sprint barefoot on sharp stones and rocks.

*You wake up and go straight to work

*You go to a Social Function and the band are wearing dark shades even though its late in the evening.

*Your first and last names are the same.

*You have a perpetually drunk Uncle who starts fights at family weddings and anybody else's.

*You call a friend - (squad),

*You've been given a hiding by your Father that's lasted more than half an hour.

*Every time you greet someone he says "YOU"?

*You have sat in a 4-seater car with up to 8 other people.

*You make that funny kissing sound with your lips when you're trying to get someone's attention.

*You can speak with your face - eg. Twitch like a rabbit to ask, Where you going?"

*Your Grandmother thinks Vicks Vapo-Rub is the miracle cure for everything (including broken bones ....)

*You're getting a hiding and your parents ask, "Why you cry for?" ("yu karai lo wanem ah ...")

*You've been shamed and belted up by your Mother in front of schoolmates at the Supermarket.

*You think you're a *pro at every sport

*You're a Tycoon on your payday by shouting everyone and scab money off people till the next fortnight.

*You invite people over for dinner and your family all of a sudden says the grace.

*You've had an afro at some stage in your life (boys AND girls)and thought you looked cool.

*You have an Uncle who STILL dresses up like and thinks he is Elvis.

*You almost drown at the beach and when you're saved and they return you to your parents, they kindly thank them, and then wait till they've left before they both take turns at beating the living shit out of you.

*You're at your Aunties and see your 6 year old cousin doing household chores.

*Your Aunty visits and she's talking to you at the same time as looking in your pots for food...

*You go to your village rich and come back poor.

*You get passed the collection basket in church and you feel bad because you put the least amount of coins in.

*You have lap laps for curtains in your house.

*When you said you shaved your head for the new look, but you really had lice.

*When your parents ask you for money on your fortnight you come up with a mountain of excuses.

*Your 2 month old baby weighs over 20 lbs.

**lookim na skelim**you ting osem wanem?**