1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will
keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If
she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will
impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are
like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is,
say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show
her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her
fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every
girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when
she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewellery is for pussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is,
stare into her eyes, mouth the words "F**K you" and grab the other girl's
ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks
it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When
she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're
really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts
crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper
very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special
nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her our jacket, because
then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't
stop complaining about the cold right now, you're going to be complaining
about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all
night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick
the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10
minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and
you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her
self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down
desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or
anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way,
she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and
say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that
speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love
a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it
(but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking
about).

21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no,
it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her
to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that
material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that
she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can
ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or

1. Have you ever used a pliers to turn your tv on? (7 points)
2. You had a Candy lady in your neighborhood (5 points)
3. You can count more than 3 Police cars in ur neighborhood on a daily basis (3 points)
4. You have been beaten with an extension cord (or other house hold appliances). (15 points)
5. Did walk to or from school? (2 points)
6. Have you ever used dishwashing liquid as bubble bath? (9 points)
7. Had an icecream van in your neighborhood. (5 points + 5 if he played R&B)
8. Do you remember any of the following sweets: apple drops, candy cigarettes, dipsticks, postman pats, golfball chewing gums (1 point each)
9. Have you ever ran from the police on foot? (5 points + 5 if u got away)
10. Have you ever worn slippers outside (7 points)
11. You add "T" to the end of "ED" words e.g. "kilt, ruint" (4 points)
12. You are acquianted with some one called: ray-ray, lee-lee, kay-kay etc. (3 points)
13. You have used the following as drinking glasses: a jug, jam jar, mayonaise jar. (3 points each)
14. The batteries in ur remote are held in by cellotape (5 points)
15. You use the words "massive", "animal" or "fuckin deadly". (7 points each)

0-24: You have lived a nice sheltered life in the suburbs.
25-49: Hood movies have given you little exposure
50-90: Lived in the hood 4 a few years n moved to the suburbs.
93+ : You're ghetto fabulous!