why am i the way that i am
am i meant to be this way
i am such a freak
the one lost in the crowd of everyone around
am i supposed to be happy like them
or am i supposed to be sad and alone
danget i hate it when i cry
i feel so weak inside
i want to stop my tears so bad
but they just keep coming
why can't life be fair sometimes
so much pain and sadness
having loved ones taken away from you
without a second glance or
without a goodbye
ahhh i feel like screaming
my lungs out
to take a walk out in the dark
and glance at the stars
sometimes i hate myself
but other times i love myself
i am happy to be who i am
but then again im not
shit these tears just keep running
i can't stop them
i just can't stop them

My special band fanatic-
MY EVERYTHING - Joe I LOVE YOU BABY! <3
My boy friend - Nathan
My girlfriend -
My bbz -
My enemy -
MY MUMMA -
My dad -
My big brother -
My little brother-
My big sister -
My little sister-
My uncle -
My aunt -
My cousin -
My lil chicken - Amanda
My brother-in-law -
My sister-in-law -
My best bud -
My other best bud -
My bit on the side -
My sugar plum - Brent
My personal shopper -
My fairy god mother -
My shoppoholic friend -
My sweetheart -
My problem maker-
My emo bud- Nathan and Amanda
my preppy bud-
MY comedian-
My crazy friend-
My dumb friend-
My Ditzy blonde friend-
My don't know anything friend-

The loss of a dear one held close
feels like there is no more hope
pictures, stuffed animals and memorys
are all you have left to remember him

Black tears run down your swollen cheeks
your eyes are nothing but blood shot
you stare out your window at the pouring rain
it has been raining for the last few days
ever since you watched him go away

You think about how it wasn't fair
how he was taken away so quickly
on that night you told him you loved him
for the very first time, you both cried

You fell in love for the first time
and you're happy it's with him
he makes you feel so wonderful inside
it's like nothing you have felt before

A picture catches your eye as
you pour them all over your bed
it's the one where was handing you a promise ring
another tear fell down your cheek as
you looked down at the silver band

It's so beautiful you think to yourself
you remember how he smelled that day
you remember how you felt that day
how much you miss him

Pulling the picture to your heart
you whisper his name and a I love you
as you look out into the rainy day
you wish with all your heart
that he heard your call