LIVE:
"what has happened to declan... i dont know i dont knw.... he was scaring me... me to me to.... was he the devil....i dont know i dont know.... i like to run... so do i so do i.."

"inniskeen road july evening, there was a dance, in billy brennans barn tonight. the bicycles go by in two's and three's.... no-one on them just these fucking bicycles"

"what he meant to say was, did you ever make love to your wife when she didnt quite wanted to be made love to... but what he actually said was DID YOU EVER RAPE SOMEONE"

CRACKED:
"on the shed on the shed on the shed, cuz thick fuckers love sheds. that extra 10 or 12 feet in the air makes all the difference to a thick fucker.. on the shed on the shed"

"Poem poem poem me hole.... perhaps thats a bit short... i'l write these fuckers a poem... september 1913 by william buttler yeats, just check to see if he's not in the class.. it could me the new guy with the mollicle... what need you being come to sence... i sware it just came flying out of my head"

"there is gonna be a few changes round ere, meet the badger... look him in the eyes look him in the eyes"

LOOSE:
"all i see is a load of blue dots mammy...... he was watching the premiership and thought he was being brought in as a sub... get me boots mammy get me boots, im coming in for the duffer, alright the duffer fair play to ya...... what didnt you pass me the ball good johnson, im in the box and no-one on me..... is it coz im a traveller"

"jimmy joe joseph st.anthony of padgeua.... i dont love you any more... dont be breakin the babbah heart dont be breakin the babah beart.. oh jimmy joe joseph.. just call me 3j.. but there will always be a special place for you in my heart...what you talking bout a special place, will there be running wather in it..ad electricity..."

"she wouldnt be welcome on the halting site, she wouldnt be able to do the accent.... and he wouldnt be welcome on the golf course, not after moving his family on it... 3 of them sittin on the couch shouting out, keep the head down sir and follow through, keep the head dont and follow through, im only givin ya a bit of advice, keep the head down and folloe through"

"i saw a tub of vaseline and as the gentleman i was, i put some on, not know how much to use so i used most of it... wax on wax off wax on wax off.. and as the gentleman i was..i put some in my hair..and spread the rest on my manhood... it was actually a tub of vics vapo rub... within four seconds she is screaming WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE, MY HOLE IS ON FIRE..... i said NEVER MIND YOU... i got a fucking light saver"

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like
other boys
his age rather curious. He had been
hearing quite
a bit
about 'making out' from the older boys,
and he
wondered what it was and how it was
done. One
day he took his question to his mother,
who
became rather flustered. Instead of
explaining
things to Johnny, she told him to hide
behind the
curtains one night and watch his older
sister and
her boyfriend.

This he did.

The following morning, Johnny described
EVERYTHING
to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for
a while,
then he turned off most of the lights.
Then he
started kissing and hugging her. I
figured 'Sis
must be getting sick, because her face
started
looking funny. He must have thought so
too,
because he put his hand inside her
blouse to feel
her heart, just the way the doctor would.
Except
he's not as smart as the doctor because he
seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
I guess
he was getting sick too, because pretty
soon both
of them started panting and getting all
out of
breath. His other hand must have been
cold
because he put it under her skirt. About
this
time 'Sis got worse and began to moan
and sigh
and squirm around and slide down
toward the end
of the couch. This was when her fever
started. I
knew it was a fever, because Sis told him
she felt
really hot. Finally, I found out what was
making
them so sick-a big eel had gotten inside
his pants
somehow. It just jumped out of his pants
and
stood there, about 10 inches long,
honest, anyway
he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from
getting
away. When Sis saw it, she got really
scared-her
eyes got big, and her mouth fell open,
and she
started calling out to God and stuff like
that. She
said it was the biggest one she's ever
seen; I
should tell her about the ones down at
the lake by
our house! Anyway, Sis got brave and
tried to kill
the eel by biting its head off. All of a
sudden she
grabbed it with both hands and held it
tight while
he took a muzzle out of his pocket and
slipped it
over the eel's head to keep it from biting
again. Sis
lay back and spread her legs so she could
get a
scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying
on top of
the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.
Sis started
groaning and squealing and her
boyfriend almost
upset the couch. I guess they wanted to
kill the
eel by squashing it between them. After a
while
they both quit moving and gave a great
sigh. Her
boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they
killed the
eel. I knew because it just hung there,
limp, and
some of its insides were hanging out. Sis
and her
boyfriend were a little tired from the
battle, but
they went back to courting anyway. He
started
hugging
and kissing her again. By golly, the eel
wasn't
dead! It jumped straight up and started to
fight
again. I guess eels are like cats- they
have nine
lives or something. This time, Sis jumped
up and
tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a
35
minute struggle, they finally killed the
eel. I
knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's
boyfriend
peel its
skin off and flush it down the toilet

Why say you love her,
Knowing it’s not true
Why beat her and kick her,
Convince her to love you.
Why cause her pain, sorrow, and fear
When all you get from her is a tear.
Is it really worth it?
Is it just a game?
If that’s what it is,
She doesn’t think the same.

Every night, she cuts her wrists,
Then watches the blood as it drips down her clenched fists.
The pain gets worse
She thinks it’s her fault,
She thinks she deserves all this assault.

Its 1am, she’s grabs a rope,
This poor girl, she has no hope,
She heads to the bathroom,
And closes the door,
She feels the cold through the clothes he tore,
She puts the rope, around her head,
Hoping he doesn’t get out of bed.
She leaps off the bath,
Her feet don’t touch the floor.
She struggles and struggles,
Until she can’t move anymore.
She slowly slips away,
Without much more to say.
She thinks of how everything is her fault,
She thinks of how she deserved the assault.
I’m sorry,
Her last words,
I’m sorry.

Its 10am,
And he awakes,
His hangover causes his head to ache.
He heads to the bathroom,
Not knowing what he’ll see,
Not knowing what wasn’t meant to be.
He opens the door,
Her body’s on the floor,
He can’t believe what he just saw.

It’s the day of the funeral.
A tear rolls down his chin,
He knows what went wrong,
He knows of his sin.
One thing he didn’t know,
How will the 4 children grow?
How could they start?
Without a mother,
Without that one piece,
Missing in their heart.
He knows it’s his fault,
He knows it was the assault.

He’s standing over her,
He wishes things weren’t how they were.
He bends over,
Kisses her soft white cheek,
He sheds a tear,
Then he whispers in her ear,
I’m sorry I caused you so much fear,
I’m sorry.
His last words,
I’m sorry