Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.

Save me, Jeebus!

I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

I don't hate your mother, I just won't be sad when she dies.

Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You/re making a scene'.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything!

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!

You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on every car!

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

It's like something out of that "twilighty" show about that zone.

Whenever Marge turns on one of her "non-violent" programs, I take a walk. I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for love...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure...not even close!

Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!

Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson.'

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight!

Apu, you got any Skittle Brau? Never mind, just give me some Duff and a pack of Skittles.

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

Mmmmmm - 52 slices of American cheese.

Hey, I asked for ketchup - I'm eatin' salad here!

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, you know like that movie... "Spaceballs". But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie "Police Academy".

I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

Here's to alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

God bless those pagans.

Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me

99 things bout me
1. Full Name: Shane o sullivan
2. Nicknames: sully, shaneo, prison break, sos, brokeback mountain
3. Birthday: 14-12-89
4. Place of Birth: limerick, aboy da kid
5. Zodiac Sign: Sagitarius
6. Male or Female: male
7. Grade: 2nd year colloege
8. School: NUIG
9. Occupation: Student
10. Residence:71 Gort na coiribe
11. bebo Screen Name: definitelymaybe89

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: dark brown
13. Hair Length: Short
15. Weight: 11 stn
16. Height: bout 6ft 2in
17. Braces?: nope
18. Glasses?: nope
19. Piercings: nope
20. Tattoos: no
21. Righty or Lefty: Lefty most of the time

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: my shadow
23. First Award: parish league u-9 hurling
24. First Sport You Joined: Football
25. First pet: the mongrel at home i suppose
26. First Real Vacation: France
27. First Concert: the sawdoctors
28. First Kiss: kissing girls is gay

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: harold and kumar
30. TV programme: Prison Break
31. Color: orange
32. Rapper: Vanilla Ice!
33. Band: Oasis, its a bit of an obsession
34. Songs Right Now: Oasis - Round Are Way
35. Friends: got loads
36. Sweet: toffee crisp
37. Sport to Play: Hurling
38. Resturant: Charkys in eyre square at 3am
39. Favorite brand: Penguin
40. Store: jack jones or jack and jones or watever the fuck its calling itself now
41. School Subject: Mathletes all the way
42. Animal: dogs
43. Book: of mice and men
44. Magazine: FourFourTwo
45. Shoes: Vans

___Currently___

46. Feeling: hungry
47. Single or Taken?: single
48. Have a crush: on ur mom! BURN
49. Eating: cereal
50. Drinking: the milk in the bowl
51. Typing?: wtf? Wat retard wrote that question
52. Online?: no i’m not i have a magical form of internet
53. Listening To: Jacks Mannequin-Swim
54. Thinking About: magic internet connections
55. Wanting to: finish this
56. Watching: this screen
57. Wearing: jeans a navy polo, white long sleeved tshirt underneath and vans

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: yup i do
59. Want Marriage: ya
60. Careers in Mind: engineer
61. Where do you want to live: California
62. Car: DeLorean

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: brunette
64. Hair length: long unless its blonde and short
65. Eye colour; blue or green
66. Measurements: no where near my height
67. Cute or Sexy: both?
68. Lips or Eyes: well i hope she’d have both really
70. Short or Tall: small, but not a midget like
71. Easygoing or serious: easygoing but not a lazy slop
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: i really don’t care
73. Fatty or Skinny: not anorexic and not a fatass,
74. Sensitive or loud? I cant stand loud people
75. Hook-up or Relationship: yes
76. Sweet or Caring: wats the difference
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: hesitant

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: too many times
79. Had Alcohol: never touched it in my life
80. Smoked: yep
81. Ran Away From home: jesus no! who’d cook for me?
82. Broken a bone: nope thank god
83. Got an X-ray: too many
84. Been with someone: yep
85 .Broken Someones Heart: don’t think so
86. Cried When Someone Died: ya
87. Cried At School: ye after a few matches

___Do You Believe In___

88. God: probably
89. Miracles: definitely, after that night in istanbul
90. Love At First sight: no
91. Ghosts: no way
92. Aliens: ya
93. Soul Mate: unlikely
94. Heaven: jesus ya
95. Hell: ya
96. Angels: probably
97. Kissing on The First Date: kissing before!
98. Horoscopes: pile of shite

___Answer Truthfully___

99. Is There Something You Want But You Know You Can't have?: yes, bill gates’ paycheck

'I dont know what to say really. 3 minutes from the biggest battle of our profeissional lives all comes down to today.Now we either heal as a team or we are going to crumble,inch by inch,play by play,till we`r finished.We`r in hell now believe me.We can stay here,get the shit kicked out of us or we can fight our way back into the light,we can climb out of hell.One inch at a time.I cant do it for ya,im too old.i look around and I see these young faces.I made every wrong choice a middle aged man could make.i pissed away all my money.i chased off anyone dat has ever loved me.And lately I cant even satnd the face I see in the mirror.U know wen u get old in life,things get taken from you.I mean dats part of life.But you only learn dat when you start losing stuff.You find out life is a game of inches.So is football.Because in either game,life or football,the margin for error is so small.I mean one half a step too early or too late and you dont quite make it.One half second too slow or two fast and you dont quite catch it.The inches we need are everywhere around us.They`r in every break of the game,every minute,every second.On this team we fight for that inch.on this team we tear ourselves and everyone around us to pieces for that inch.We claw with our fingernails for dat inch.Because we know when we add up all those inches,thats going to make the Fucking difference between winning and losing,between living and dying.I`ll tell ya this,in any fight its the guy thats willing to die whos going to win dat inch.And I know if i`m going to have any life anymore,its because im still willing to fight and die for that inch.Because thats what living is.The six inches in front of your face.Now I cant make ya do it.You`v got to look at the guy next to ya,look into his eyes.Now i think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch wit ya.You`r gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team.Because he knows when it comes down to it,you`r going to do the same for him.Thats a team gentlemen.Now either we heal now as a team or we will die as individuals.....Thats football guys.Thats all it is.NOW,what are you gonna do?