How does the world see me?
Song: Resisting the Ghost
Artist: Cathedral
Sweet, I'm a Ghostbuster!

Will I have a happy life?
Song: We Cry As One
Artist: The Old Dead Tree
I'm pretty sure that a bad thing...

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Lord of the Sky
Artist: Heimdall
Does this mean I get an epic cloud throne?

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Moot Lie
Artist: Raintime
Fack. I'll assume that's a no lol.

How can I make myself happy?
Song: Ridden with Disease
Artist: Necrophobic
PISS OFF!

What should I do with my life?
Song: I'm Going To Make A Cake
Artist: Philip Glass
That's a good idea actually .

Why should life be full of so much pain?
Song: The Hermit
Artist: Throes of Dawn
I think Winamp is telling me to get out more.

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: Drama
Artist: Beseech
No thanks, had enough drama elsewhere. I'm sure Dave or someone'll like roleplaying in that way though <_<;

Urgh.... *facepalm*

Will I ever have children?
Song: At the Gates of Sleep
Artist: Insomnium
Winamp also wants me to die, but at least it wants me to have kids.

What is some good advice for me?
Song: King of Fools
Artist: Helion
BRAIN!

...Makes sense kinda...

What is happiness?
Song: Enraptured by Evil
Artist: Akercocke
Heh heh. Grim. *BM POSE!*

What is my favorite fetish?
Song: Shadow of the Sun
Artist: Helion
Duwa? Whatever you say Winamp <_<;.

How will I be remembered?
Song: Ode To A Dying Star
Artist: Sear Bliss
That's epic as fuck by the way!

What do people assume when they first look at me?
Song: Rusted Angel
Artist: Darkane
I love this song ! Dunno how that'd work as a first impression though.

What Will be a big challenge in life for me?
Song: In the Name of God
Artist: Dissonant
Not sure if want...

Am I a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
Song: No Future
Artist: Cattle Decapitation
...

SONUVABITCH! Just what a man needs to hear after a break up ya know?

Do I have a Secret Admirer?
Song: Kisai
Artist: Kagrra,
I dunno about admirers, but t least I have a funky bassline.

*boogies*

How will I die?
Song: Naked
Artist: Loch Vostok
:|.

Is someone trying to kill me?
Song: Kadonneet Kolme Sanaa
Artist: Stam1na
Three lost words eh? That could mean anything FS ¬_¬;.

What is my sexual preference?
Song: Circadian Rhythm
Artist: Thurisaz
Lol wut?

What am I afraid of?
Song: Exist
Artist: Guts Pie Earshot
A surprisingly deep answer thrown up there.

What will I be doing in a few years?
Song: The Black Waltz
Artist: Kalmah
I'm pretty sure that means dead :|.

What should I do instead of this quiz?
Song: Shadows That Move
Artist: Mastadon
Kinda makes sense. Guess that means i should be doing ANYTHING other than this.

What is a bad habit that i should try to stop?
Song: Honour
Artist: VNV Nation
Go figure...

What's for dinner tonight?
Song: Midnight Poison
Artist: Vira
Isn't that a sort of perfume? Does this mean I'm eating flowers ¬_¬;?

Well that wasted some time at least...

(Nabbed from B3ta, but fuck it)


Conan The Barbarian is the greatest film of all time because…

The film opens in a winter scene in what we’re assuming is a Sumerian village in the deep, deep BC’s. The scene is idyllic; Young Conan helps his mother do laundry or something while his seriously badass Dad breaks things. You can tell he is badass because of his badass beard. It’s badass and he is wearing furs.

However, interspersed with this idyllic scene is the onset of an advancing horde whose intention is clear; rape, pillage, plunder. Once Conan’s Dad realises this, he does the only thing a proper badass should do; he grabs his sword and starts slaying horde members as well as their horses. Eventually he is mowed down as the village burns, all of the adults slain and the children taken as slaves.

Before this, however, Conan’s seriously hot Mother grabs a sword and attempts to protect Conan from James Earl Jones, heretofore known as Falsa Doom. Even though she is both severely hot and badass, Falso Doom decapitates her whilst Conan watches. There’s even a slo-mo of his Mothers decapitated head falling as Conan watches and her hand slides from his. It’s completely awesome.

We cut to the children being marched across the steppes or plains or whatever until they reach a mill of sorts. It’s wicked windy and the thing could probably be run by wind power but this is not important as what follows next can only be described as completely awesome. The children are tied to the mill and ordered to turn it by a 6ft 6” version of Gimley from LOTR and a time lapse sequence of probably 5-7 years occurs as Conan gets fucking huge. Arnie had just won his millionth Mr. Universe competition and was freakishly large.

As Conan reaches the pinnacle of his hugeness, Giant Gimley cuts his bonds and takes him out on the prehistoric ultimate fighting circuit. At first, Conan is timid and he takes a whuppin’ but realising taking a whuppin’ means getting dead, he gets his arse in gear and puts a kimura on a dude so bad, he smashes his fucking arm off. It is, quite frankly, completely awesome.

Giant Gimley starts to really dig Conan and treats him like a son insofar as he would send his own son out to fight to the death whilst he eats chicken. Eventually though, he gets him Ninja lessons and Conan becomes a serious badass with a sword just like his Father. Giant Gimleys affection is finally confirmed however over desert BBQ one evening when Giant Gimley asks all present, “What is best in life?”

Various badasses come up with nonsense about eagles soaring over plains and fine wine and such but Giant Gimley is having none of it so he asks Conan.

And in an Oscar worthy performance, Conan says (correctly), “Crush your enemies. See them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women” in a near flawless Sumerian (Austrian) accent.

The next morning, Giant Gimley sets Conan free. Well, free insofar as his chains are cut but he is still bound in them and he’s being chased by murderous looking dogs. He jumps into a cave and discovers the throne of Krom. Cue flashback – Conans Father explaining to him ‘The Riddle Of Steel’ and how Krom is his God. It’s total gibberish but it doesn’t matter. Conan cuts his binds with Kroms sword and heads off into his new life.

Along the way, he meets a tiny oriental looking fellow who trains him in the art of thievery and survival and such. They get mashed drunk, have a grand old time and whilst pissing himself laughing at a dude fucking a camel, Conan knocks the camel out with one punch. It’s awesome.

Meanwhile, more and more pilgrims are arriving in the town in which they find themselves. They have come to worship Conan’s nemesis; Falsa Doom. Falsa Doom has a giant snake protecting a diamond the size of a basketball to which he sacrifices willing virgins in his temple. Conan and his mate decide to steal it.

As they are climbing into F

The Plan is this:

1. Get Accordion
1.1. Get Kilt
2. Get to Central
3. Get into position
4. Play
5. Windmill
6. Run away playing The Great Escape
6.1. Being Chased by Ra Polis
7. Repeat in Buchanan Street
7.1. Repeat in Argyll Street
7.2. Repeat elsewhere
8. Obtain Record Deal/Youtube fame
9. PROFIT!!!