1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...

6. Try breathing through your nose.

7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!

8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

10. But whipped cream makes me break out.

11. Person 1: This is your first time..right? Person 2: Yeah.. today

12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

13. Can you please pass me the remote control?

14. Do you accept Visa?

15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.

19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

22. Do you get any premium movie channels?

23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

25. Got any penicillin?

26. But I just brushed my teeth...

27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

29. I want a baby!

30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

34. I think you have it on backwards.

35. When is this supposed to feel good?

36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

37. You're good enough to do this for a living!

38. Is that blood on the headboard?

39. Did I remember to take my pill?

40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...

42. That leak better be from the waterbed!

43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..

45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..

47. No, really... I do this part better myself!

48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

49. This would be more fun with a few more people..

50. You're almost as good as my ex!

51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?

52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

53. You look younger than you feel.

54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.

55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.

57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...

58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.

60. What tampon?

61. Have you ever considered liposuction?

62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

64. I have a confession...

65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!

66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?

67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

68. Is that a hanging sculpture?

69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?

70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?

71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

72. Did you come yet, dear?

73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...

74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

75. Does this count as a date?

76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.

78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?

79. Q: You can cook, too right? A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)

80. When would you like to meet my parents?

81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about so

1) if your cooking a special dinner for a man, b sure 2 include something from each of the 4 major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.

2) Its only commen courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet up when u r done.

3) Dont make him hold your handbag in the shopping center.

4) The man is always in charge of the barbecue.

5) Any attempt by a man 2 prepare food, no matter how feeble, should b met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent mite shower upon thre infant when it wlkz 4 the 1st time.

6) HE HERD YOU THE 1ST TIME

7) U no u could ask him out too.....

If u truly want honesty, dont ask questions u dont really want the answer 2.

9)Of course he want another beer.

10) 'Fine!' is not an acceptable way to end n argument.

11) He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man u have ever met.

12) Ur bum/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of a fact, it/they look great, so stop asking!

13) Dirty laundry comes in several categories: looks fine/smells fine; looks fine/smells bad; looks dirty/smells fine; looks dirty/smells dirty.

14) Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. just like Antonia Banderas/Keanu Reeves/Brad Pitt is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one your with.

15) DNT HOG THE COVERS.

16) Watching Rugby is a major turn-on 4 u. But please wait until the halftime show 2 act apon that.