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Night Without Survival
2 
- Profile views: 600
- Profile created: June 2007
- www.bebo.com/horrorhill
- Category:
- Horror
- Publisher:
- Connor
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- Me, Myself, and I
- This a horror about 8 teens going to the pool but when its closoing time the 8 people (jeff,petunia,rose,christina,
samnatha,patrick,jack,and joe)
dont listen and are locked in until morning.But there not alone, a crazy psychopath has escaped from a near by prison. He also gets locked in the pool.The 8 teens think its going to be a blast until he finds them.
oh and peope leaving mean comments im only ten s o f**k off
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Um... Yeah, uh... I don't get it.
by Aaron 12/19/10If you don't want bad comments then don't write shite. Simple as.
I know you're ten so my advice... wait til you can actually write like a real person.
P.S. -- why was there a random pit of fire in a swimming pool even though the kiler only just arrived? Answer me that and I'll give you 5 stars...
Huh? That story made completely no sense to me! You put about three full stops and you didn't put capital letters or spaces or check your spelling or your grammar. It was also WAY over the top! You can't slice a hole in someone's stomach and pull out their heart. It's just like the person below said, it's like a totally rubbish film in fast forward. You don't even deserve one star. I would have given you none if bebo would have let me!
by Emma 12/31/08By the way, the world of bebo is no place for a 10 year old!
Emmz
patrick thanks for using a name you dont here often cos thats my name so thank you
by Patrick F 10/26/08wel.... i no u dont want any bad reveiws cos your ten...by the way bebos not the place for a ten year old.
by Adam 6/26/08the punctuation was terrible,it was too rushed and we knew nothing about the charachters other than their names.
i advice you re-write the story and slow down a little you dont have to finish the story so fast.
meh O.K, I know you don't want any bad comments 'cos you're ten, but age doesn't matter. It was an O.K plot, and any one who says that it's the same old then they should see the horror films nowadays, they're all the bleedin' same. You've got a good imaginative plot, but there were grammar mistakes, hardly any punctuation and basically no description. If you do write another story, remeber all the things you were missing from this one, despite being ten.
by Jellybean 6/8/08And to one of the comments below that was having a go at you, they're not exactly the masters of spelling or grammar their selves when you see their comment. Don't worry 'bout him dude. Still a good story.
wow That was Shit!!
by Billy-Bob 4/13/08Jst Jokes! awesum
Ummm........ Okay, the book was pathetic, no offence, it could have been ALOT better, the book was rushed and you knew nothing about the characters.
by Cara 10/27/07There were HEAPS of grammer mistakes and it didn't all make sense.
When I first read the thing at the top about the book, it sounded pretty good.
The book had a good plot. I suggest that you re-write it and explain the characters a little more and make sure the book fits together well.
nice juse that was so cool for the killing it mad me larf at it bloude evry were
by Liam Godfrey 9/19/07