Pirates Adventure - the single best show you will see BAR NONE
Med Ped
Getting the Pedalo stuck in the sea
Blatant perving at the beach
Referring to your girlfriend, using your ex girlfriend's name
Getting a shout out for your stag do before you get married to your ex girlfriend
"It's the last night of the holiday... Let's go radge!!!!!!!!!"
"The bar round the corner is open til 6am" "It's 20 to 7" "Its open til 6!" "It's 20 to 7" "Aye but its open til 6!"
Playing Deal or No deal live on stage in a pub and only winning 1€
Steam ironing t-shirts when someone is in the shower
Smelling food and going into a randoms room to steal their Chinese take-away
"I'm the 2nd best looking guy in here"
Country dancing to "Tell me Ma"
Even the Spanish think the Hibees are gay!
Holding on for dear life on the Ringos
Going on the Bungee Ball 4 times in a row
"Allo Vera!"
2 of us having a 2 and a half hour heart to heart and not realising everything round us was shutting
Someone standing & screaming at the top of his voice in Boomerangs
"Who is the better kisser?"
Having a shiny red helmet
Speaking the starting lyrics of Dizee Rascal - "Dance Wiv Me" to a London girl
Not paying for a dance at the strippers then getting a free one in the Miss Boomerang competition
"I want to go out every night... I want to dance under the Discolights..."
Knocking back free shots cos we wanted to dance to our Zante song and came right back out after it
Ignorant ENglish girl: "We own the Scottish!" "But the Prime Minister is Scottish!"
"Sweet Home Palma Nova"
Squirting lemon into your own eye then jumping into the pool cos it stings... with your fone in your pocket
Getting followed home by Zee German then having a love letter written about you
Constant Sharting
Throwing stuff out the room door for an excuse to go out and perv on females
Hearing bed rattling from the room below
Pulling Pee-tay Pan and spending a night in Neverland
Someone else getting refused entry to Neverland twice
Scratches and Bite marks
Going home with a Subway then getting a taxi back to Magaluf for another one
"It'll be fine just go for a shower"
Cock & Balls
"Let's go Disco!"

More Mayhem

Doing a shite in a Pringle box
Finding a shite in the Pringle box
Lobbing the Pringle Box on the main road
Not flushing shites
Sitting up like the Undertaker then doing a Usain Bolt to the bog 0.43 seconds after being in a deep sleep
Running out of toilet paper and using the shower instead
Giving brownwings on the 2nd meet but telling us she's no like that
Pulling out and exploding in her mouth but telling us shes no like that
"She's no, no like that.... She's REALLY no like that!"
KrisDaFunk
Telling someone's chick she had nice eyes then insisting it wasn't a chat-up line
Winning the Booze Cruise Belly Flop competition with a 9/10 high score
Left handed drinking, Elbow pointing and not saying "drink" or "bar"
Getting a clothes peg yanked off your scrotum
Going for Sangraia and seeing everyone else getting lager... so deciding to Man da fuck up and get some beer
Using predictive when texting swear words and sending "I Ducking love you" on a text message
Trapping a Beckhamesque pass with the same arm your drink is in & chucking it over yourself
Telling Manuel on the restaurant door "Four for 232" which sounds like 44232
Looking in the mirror & saying "I get better looking every day" followed by "I'm a tank"
The 10 second BJ with 4 other people watching & counting along
Getting a shout out for Jimmy Sommerville - "Don't leave me this way" and getting stripped... "Ahhhhh BABY!!"
Being asked if you're gay cos you dance like it
Dancing like your gay but pulling a '1' cos she liked your dancing
Sitting on a bench when someone is hanging out a taxi window shouting "jjjjjjiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMmmm
mmmm"
"Destination Magaluf luf luf luf luf luf
Breaking out in a sweating fit immediately after putting on the costumes
Brian the Mascot schneckin girls, smoking fags, fighting and snorting lines
Telling a girl shes jealous of her pal and hearing her arguing & saying the word "Jealous" 267 times
The BLACK kebab
"How do you know that's the best meal you've had if you've no tasted it?"
The world's fastest take-away on the planet... Guaranteed... it was on the desk before you got change
The world's slowest resturant on the planet... Guaranteed... Waited a full half of football to get served
Standing under the cold air machine for an hour and it didnt come on
"We can follow her all night or we can go & see a superstar DJ in 1 of the biggest nightclubs in Europe"
Coming 3rd in the 7-a-side football tournament, playing in the soaring heat, in an actual stadium on a state-of-the-art surface
"DEEGAN'S UP!!!!"
Psyching each other up before playing the Italians "Remember the Euros lads"
"DEEGAN'S UP!!!!"
Playing in skins again because we won in skins before. Worked again!!
"DEEGAN'S UP!!!!"
Calling the Spanish, divers, pussies and women
"DEEGAN'S UP!!!!"
Sleeping with a rep.... "High 5"
Bumping a free foam party and paying 30€ to go to another one at the same time
A Montenegro girl speaking better English than what we can dae
"You look like Peter Crouch!"
Having a crack with Des Mitchell
"...It's full of pubs, clubs & strippers... Oh Edinburgh, is wonderful..."

For good reason, the people involved remain nameless

Being 1 hour late and nearly missing the minibus
The shite excuse for last years party bus
Leaving your kilt and getting it by via Royal Mail special delivery
Thinking it was a good idea to throw paint onto t-shirts and then think they would dry in an hour
Renting 2 extra hairdryers to dry them
Walking into the family bar dressed like lunatics
Dressed like lunatics and no other lunatic dressers showing up for an hour
Raging that Pat Sharp chopped off his mullet
Equally raging that he left the twins at home
Coming home and strolling in for breakfast STILL dressed like lunatics
Bringing home the beach ride in a taxi to use the hotel fone and walking away from her
Throwing food at breakfast time still blazing & STILL dressed like lunatics
Lack of fridge
Swaying like an MFI wardrobe
Seeing our rep 3 times in 2 weeks
Bringing black markers to the bar crawl
Writing "I fucking hate English kuntz" on a Welsh boyos top surrounded by the English
Writing hairy muff on some tart's top with an arrow pointing to her babymaker
The tart proving she never had a hairy muff
The "Don't Look Back in Anger" singalong
Being on the bar crawl but getting elbowed for the nightclub
Gilmerton is better than Penicuik
Superman flying around Neil's bar when his song came on
Pulling God Awful Horrors & getting branded the Munter Hunter
The Richter Scale 1-6 hot-or-not scoring system
Judge Jules giving Magaluf the pointy thing half way up his arm
Leaving a tarts room after asking for sex and getting bumped
Partying like it's 1999 in Clubland Mondays
Watching everyone else partying like it's 1999 in Clubland Mondays, while cracking da fuck on at the bar for hours, plying someone with 1€ drinks and still getting royally bumped
Calling Neil's bar.... Neil's bar
Frank the Tank
Having an hour long conversation with someone putting on a Scouse accent and not realising
"Boys fraaaam Edinburrrra... Cha'mon Motherfucker!"
Pints of Vodka And Aftershock
"Please dinny go wi her... I know her and Im gonna do her"
Ignoring that, and going with her anyway
"Hello baby calling you"
John Coffee
Swearing to kill John Coffee but couldn't cos his 5 ft 2" mate was holding him back with one hand
Asking a Looky Looky for the time when he had 8 Bronze painted Rolex watches up his arm
Auntie Sarah's Cafe
The Mynuh Bird wolfwhistling at the group number 1
Ducking for cover when the guy had to kiss people for points on the bar crawl
Passionately kissing with hand on her cheek whilst passing drink through the mouth
Deja Vu on the BBQ bar crawl
Laughing gas
Hallucenation
A pint of "Fucking Mental"
Vodka Jellies (boak)