Agricultural students Our definition of binge drinking is a few pints of diesel chased by some equally rural liquor mixes. And even then, the bartender is more likely to lock in than turf out. We settle our differences on the sports pitches, not the streets, and instead of lifting cars we nick signs from the rival colleges. Our jeans are ripped and stained but they weren’t when we bought them. We carry penknives in our Barbours, not flick knives in our Bombers and only wear a hood when it’s raining. We swear like blinking troopers but apologise afterwards. We have no unnecessary plastic on our Peugeots, just unnecessary chrome on our pick-ups. We like The Wurzels more than Drum & Bass and know all the words to Summer of 69. We cannot dance, but we do not pretend we can; and we think an empty grain store is the best clubbing venue ever. Our idea of fast food is a sandwich on a tractor and we are proud of it. We have no money, but unlike urban chavs we are prepared to work for it.

Aul.......... Old
Aul Boy........... Father
Aul Doll........... Mother
Our boy...........brother
Our Doll...........sister
Buck.......... Boy or Man
Canny.......... Cannot
Doll......... Girl or woman
Foundered............ Extremely cold
Gan............. Goin
Go-wan............ Please
Hanlin................ Trouble or Fight or Argument
Hi............. Used at the start and end of every sentence
Lock.............. Small amount of something
Mind............ To remember
Mon........... Come on
Naw........... No
Bird........Good looking woman
Wild..........Terrible
Ogeous......Awful
Yoke........Automobile/Awkard woman
Rack.........Breasts
Box.........Vagina
Feed..........Large amount of alcohol
Polatic.......Intoxicated
Yella.........Coward
Cowl...........cold
Glack........Good luck
Wee....... Small
Thon....... That
Stagein......Driving around country roads at excessive speed
Bate on hi........ Hurry up wud ye!!
He's me head turned.......... Twisted owl brute
Brute....... a big lump of machinery or sum1 like the back end of a bus
Give her the jip/poke/welly........ go a little faster or more force needed
Shuk......... A drain, or the crevice of sum1's bum
The 135 toplink....... A right hook bout the jaw
He's horsin her on....... He's goin very fast
Broke the seal.........sudden urge to pee (roughly twice a pint therafter)
Clouts...... Feet
Clift..... That person is hard to get along with
Bale out........ When ur in a mad hurry to get outa the car (ty atwell)

1) Thou shalt drink only pints and/or "whiskey."
2) Thou shall always ate the skin of yer rasher.
3) Thou shalt "suck diesel."
4) Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
5) Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your
trailer.
6)Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or a "good Sally Rod" for beatin cattle.
7)Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Treshing, Kickin'Cabbages and
the Corncrake.
9)Thou shalt carry the A.I Man's mobile number on you at all times.
10)Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all Steam Rallies.
11)Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
12)Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
13)Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather".
14)Thou shallt have many injuries from "that Hoooor of Charlois I got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
15)Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
16)Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's fims, especially "The Quiet Man."
17)Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin' upstairs"
1 Thou shallt think all Lesbians are from Lesbia.
19)Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end pit when trampling silage.
20)Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and roar down the phone while he's with "the bit of stuff".
21)Thou shalt never leave the country.
22)Thou shalt only bathe on a sathurday niyat, using only carbolic soap.
23)Thou shalt have a heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is good for nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
24)Thou shalt read the Farmer's Journal.
25)Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After Dinner Mints or Silvermints.
26)Thou shalt only be aware of strippers of the bovine kind.
27)Thou shalt always sing the dirty line to "Alice".