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- Find me on them internets
- Me, Myself, and I
- Home again motherfuckers!!!!!!
why was there no welcome party??
is it cause i is ginger??
- Metallica, Slipknot, System of a Down, Soulfly, Pantera, Sepultura, In Flames, Basically anything hard and heavy and also Justin Timberlake the sexy cunt!
- Pulp Fiction, Saw 1 & 2, Apocalypse Now, Any Will Ferrell Films!, Hostel, Sin City, Anything funny or by Quentin Tarantino
- Soccer (Chelsea), Sailing
- Scared Of
- Butterflies, Sock Puppets.
- Happiest When
- Drunk, happy obviously
- Family Guy
- FAMILY GUY RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!! and so does American Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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- How well do you know Shaun? 49 Taken
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0 Comments 368 weeks
Choose beer. choose a bar. Choose a bottle. Choose a pint. Choose a fuckin massive hangover. Choose pissing in a shop doorway. Choose disgusting food. Choose a spinning bedroom. Choose lying in gutters. Choose a police escort. Choose getting sick in the back of a taxi. Choose missing your keyhole 10 times before getting it in. Choose sleeping with ugly people. Choose drinking competitions. Choose dancing like an idiot. Choose phoning friends at 2 in the morning to sing to them. Choose talking to tramps. Choose bad karaoke. Choose disappointing sex. Choose beer breath. Choose empty pockets. Choose pissing every 5 minutes. Choose arguing with inanimate objects. choose to laugh at unfunny jokes. choose falling asleep in a club. choose to argue with bar men. choose losing your phone. choose to pick a fight with the biggest person around. choose talking bullshit. choose walking home at the end of it all thinking what a fucking embarrassment you've been but then planning next weekend..........................
CHOOSE YOUR FUTURE
0 Comments 369 weeks
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
- There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
- Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
- There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
- In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.
- Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.
- Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
- When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris puts the m's on M&Ms.
- Chuck Norris was a hidden playable character on Mortal Kombat 2 on the Sega Genesis.
- Chuck Norris is known for his modesty but readily admits that he is the 8th wonder of the natural world
- Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.
- Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.
- There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.
- Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.
- Chuck Norris has no concept of time, if you go to his house you won't find a single clock. When you ask to leave because it's getting late he stares at you blankly until you sit back down.
- Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris once ate a banana without having to peel it.
- Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris' house is a Total Gym
- In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight co-host Mary Hart that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast on the hooker in "Total Recall".
- Chuck Norris once did a back flip off the Great Wall of China.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
- Chuck Norris caught all 386 pokemon in just under 2.7 seconds. He says he won't trade any of them for anything.
- In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.
- Chuck Norris broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the paralympics.
- Chuck Norris will never fully be male nor female. Doctors once asked him which he preferred. He gave them an ad for a Total Gym.
- Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally"
0 Comments 369 weeks