Been thinking about 'stuff' again...
So I'm writing it down in a dumb-ass blog.. So people I don't even fucking know can read my 'stuff'... Cool 'eh?

× I can't ever cry in front of people, but I cry all the time on my own... It pisses me off cause stupid attention seekers cry all the time when they don't feel a thing :\

× Sometimes.. I feel dreadfully fat, then two minutes later I'll feel dreadfully skinny...

× I want to run away, then run some more.

× I love far too many people, it hurts like hell cause nobody loves me back.

× I still have never kissed someone in the rain! =[

× I sleep on my bedroom floor, I'll never learn that I get hellish back-ache all the next day... I still do it..

× I actually almost regret sending in my College Application... I've realised I just signed away another year of my life to work...

× I constantly think "Get busy living, or get busy dieing." -The Shawshank Redemption (legend of a film) and like 70 quotes from Girl, Interrupted.

× I want to die. Fact.

× I think of reasons to go to the doctors, in the small hope that maybe I'll have to have a BLOOD TEST!


So there... If you've got to here you've just read my 'stuff'... Urrm.. Good for you!

Rachel ♥

Ha haaa.. my Mum found this poem in my room & said I must stop drinking then writing shit down because its just so depressing...
But hell I like it


I'm gonna shoot all the butterflies out the sky,
With my green and purple laser.
I'm gonna scream and lie until I die,
And eat my fucking razor.
I'm gonna hack off all my hair, mess it up and cry,
I'll think they'll all think I'm ugly...
And then again I'll die.
Everybody says life is short,
But its the longest thing you'll ever do,
So ignore the slags, the bitches and that sort,
They're the crazy ones, not you.

Rachel ♥

A lot of stuff has happened this February, and it was so different to my last February... So I figured I'd write about it.

× Firstly, me and my cross-dresser friend Chris, went out together to town and he wasn't self concious at all and I'm so proud of him; I'd never have the guts to of done something like that so he deserved a mention.

× Valentines Day was awesome. I got a card from Emma and it was so sweet, Chris got me a card too and put a permanent marker in it. Random. Then later a card came through the door and it said 'Guess Who' inside... Still have no clue who its from. So yeah, felt pretty loved. Better than most other days =] Then Emma and I went out to Colchester and I spent all my money...And I had a lot, so basically bought loads of shit. But it was a great laugh... Especially when the two pigeons were having sex on the window ledge...

× I finally completed all my English & English Lit. Coursework... In thier words 'I'll pass with flying colours' So thats good. Last February I wasn't even going to school and had almost given up on ever even doing my GCSE's... So I'm sort of happy about that.

× I have read Silas Marner & re-read A Kiss Of Shadows this month, I have just started reading Far From The Madding Crowd... Also I've been reading a lot of poetry to get new ideas.

× I've been learning some random Latin phrases. Just for a laugh and so I can sound kinda smart and say things in Latin in conversations with Peter (who does speak Latin.)
Meus pectus pectoris vulnero. --Meaning My heart hurts. I use this one a lot.

× LOST is back! Finally.. The hiatus was unbearable, Season 4 is amazing so far

So thats February...
I highly doubt anyone will actually read this.
But Thanks very much if you do / did.

Rachel ♥