Dear Mr. Brian Sheehy,

I express my most sincere apology for disrespecting the honour and privelage that is shotgun in your car. I realise what a feeling of complete disgust, dismay, shock, horror, embarrassment, anger, injustice, disbelief, amazement and of course consternation you must have felt when i let finbarr, the dirty smelly rotten dog who was sweating like himself in a playground at the time, sit in the front seat. It was a dispicable and disgraceful act out of myself. I hope you can find it in your stunning heart to forgive me. Once again i am truly sorry and i hope this will not affect our friendship.I really do love you......r car especially shotgun.

Yours sincerely,
Gary Pyne.


P.S If you could get the window fixed it would be greatly appreciated.

Sexual Terms 135 days ago

Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms


Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.


Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.


The Bait N' Tackle
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!


Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.


Bear Claw
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.


Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.


Beer Dick
This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.


Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.


The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.


Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.


Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.


Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)


The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)


Butter Face
When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.


The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!


The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.


The Chili Dog
When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.


Chocolate Pizza
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.


Cleveland Steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.


Cock-Stuffing
Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your urethra. Wow!


Cold Lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head

1 Who are you?.......
2. Are we friends?........
3. When and how did we meet?........
4. Do you hav a crush on me?.........
5. Give me a nikname and explain why?........
6. Describe me in 1 word........
7. what was ur first impression ov me?.......
8. do u still fink the same?......
9. What reminds u ov me?.....
10. If you could giv me anything wot wod it b?......
11. How well do u no me?......
12. Whens the last tym u saw me?.....
13. Eva wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldnt?......
14. Are you goin 2 put dis on ur blog and c wot i say about u?.....