-Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."

-Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")

-Ask people what gender they are.

-Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

-Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"

-Block the entrances of elevators, buses,

-Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.

-Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up.

-Call again about a half hour latter and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.

-Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."

-Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.

-Chew on pens/pencils that you've borrowed.

-Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.

-Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you.

-Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa.

-Don't leave a message at the beep, just hang up

-Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet

-Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbours you are a "spider person."

-Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"

-Every time you see a particular co worker, shout, "So we meet again!" and laugh evilly.

-Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces.

-Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

-Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"

-Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

-When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.

-When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".

-Send out emails with big long lists for people to read.

Here are some fun things to do in a public library if you get bored there...

1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly.

2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you.

3. While looking at your book, turn so you're facing the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"

4. Put down your book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, and either 1) say, "Ooo, nice book," or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act like you're reading it.

5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You're one of THEM!"

6. Put down your book, and look at him/her. When they says something like, "What?" cut them off by saying, "Are you accusing me of something?"

7. Read your book. Upside down.

8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the same way.

9. Flip the page every two or so seconds.

10. Pick up your book, put it down, and say, "Wow. That was a good book."

11. Read silently, and then as if speaking to the character in your book, say, "No, Jim! It's a trap! Don't do it!" Then turn to the person and reply solemnly, "He did it," when he/she looks at you.

12. Turn to the person and ask, "Have you ever experienced déjà vu and amnesia at the same time?"

13. Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she looks at you funny, say, "Ohh, I'm sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to be quiet."

14. Sit down, and then say to the person next to you, "Hi! My name's (...) and I'm really glad to meet you."

15. Ask him/her if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum.

16. Ask him/her what species he/she is.

17. Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet.

18. Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say, "Got enough air in their?" or, "Settle down in there. I'm trying to read!"

19. Ask them what their name is, and then when they start to reply, cut them off by saying, "No, it isn't!"

20. Break the silence by making a bodily function noise, then say, "Wow! That was a good one!"

21. Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange sound, or a beep.

22. Announce the page number each time you turn a page.

23. Constantly shift in your seat, and if the person next to you asks what is wrong, reply by saying, "I'm constipated. Hehe."

24. Spell every single word as you read it.

25. Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading.

26. Act like you're picking your nose - and eating it.

27. Snort loudly, and gargle with your spit.

28. Sneeze a lot.

29. Hold your book right next to your eyes.

30. Every few minutes, get up out of your chair, walk around the table, and sit back down.

31. Stand up, and continue reading.

32. Make a strange sound every few minutes, then act like you didn't do it.

33. Bring a bag of cat food, and start snacking on it.

34. Bring a box of crunchy cereal, a bowl, and a spoon, then dig in messily, and crunch on it.

35. Ask them, "Got milk?"

36. Read out loud attempting to pronounce easy words. Butcher them badly. But be able to pronounce hard words.

37. Fall out of your seat, then say, "I meant to do that." Then do it again. And again.

38. Bring a laptop, and turn up the sound, and play a very noisy game.

39. Wear too many sweaters, and complain how hot it is.

40. Bring one of those fans with a squirt bottle attached, and make it look like you're attempting to squirt yourself, but hit them instead.

41. Bring a bottle of squirtable mouth freshener, and miss every time you try to spray it into your mouth.

42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume.

43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book.

44. Put down your book, then say, "Hey, ya wanna trade?"

45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the li

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
* Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell, ''I need some tampons!!''
* Try on bras over top of your clothes.
* Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
* While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible ''Sex and Candy''
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
* Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10.''
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
* While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, ''Who BUYS this shit, anyway?''
* Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
* Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
* Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
*. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
* As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow. Magic!''
* Put M&M's on layaway.
* Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas.
* Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
* Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
* Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''...I'm Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
* TP as much of the store as possible.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
* Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down. (01134)
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
* When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
* Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
* Take bets on the battle described above.
* Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
* While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
* While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
* Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible.'
* Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
* Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
* Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
* Set up a ''Valet Parking'' sign in front of the store.
* Two words: ''Marco Polo.'
* Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
* ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
* In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels.* Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
* While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying ''How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was anot