I just need to get things off my chest. Life or Something Like It?? Or do we seriously live in hell.... Welcome to Hell CJ, you'r already there. Now people don't get me wrong. I love my Family do death and would do anything for them, and I do mean anything. However. My Mother is screaming at my Grandma. My Grandma is screaming at my Mom.... It's hell. I am constantly having Mirgrane Headaches, my stomach always feels like I could throw up, I'm depressed, and stressed. I'm never happy, I just sulk around. I put on a happy face to try to disguise it all. But the truth is I am really hurting. I cant take much more. I am about to go nuts. And not only that. I can barely stand to be in my own house. It's that bad... My Mother has ran all my freinds off. Nobody wants to come around cause my Mom is such a bitch. So I'm basically by myself. I live my life, in a weird way basically, it's like me or hate me. Its your call, either way I don't give a fuck type. I am a smart ass. I will tell you off. I will stand up for myself and my freinds. What few friends I do have. If people don't like it, they don't have to listen.... nor do they have to talk to me. I am my own person. I will do things my way. Again I say this.... If that makes me a Rebelious Bitch. I will Proudly Embrace the title.
I have a few people that I have been aching to tell off... It will eventually happen. Some people say I don't like them for them people who think that. I want you to continue thinking that...

Point 2:
I was growing up held in the house all the time. My Mom never let me go anywhere..... well now. When I get out. I drink, I don't do drugs nor will I ever... I do party and when I say party.... I mean heavy partying.... Till day break the next day.. I know how to have fun, and when to have fun...
I know how to be serious.... And when someone is cutting up. Basically. From the way I was brought up. I am a wild girl. I can get damn wild. I can get damn mouthy. I can be a BITCH when pervoked.... (Mary) I have a temper and alot of people have seen the medium side to it. As a teen... I got in alot of trouble. I ran with the wrong crowd. Put a 25 year old women in the hospital from beating the hell out her. Do I regreat it?? Hell No! Would I do it again to pertect a freind and his kids??? Hell Yeah bring it on. Would I do it pertect a good friend of mine.... I say bring it on!
As you can probably tell I am freaking pissed off. It will take me a good week to finally get over it... But you know who you are, no you didn't do anything girl.... its how your being treated. I'm here for you anytime you need me..... Call me, come over.... or whatever. You can always reach me anytime.. Day or night! With that! I am signing off!

So far my Summer has been BORING!!!! I am supposed to be leaving the 12th of September for Tennessee. But that got canceled. Cause the guy that I am going with, My crush... shhhhh..... Broke his tailbone. And can't drive that far.... I was seriously looking forward to that. So yeah. Now I gotta figure something else out. DAMN!!! Anyways. My birthday is comming up. On the 21st and my freind Amandas is comming up on the 25th.... 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear to God you will hear me screaming. Anyways we'll plan something!! Even if it's in Sept on a weekend. Anyways. Been around the fmaily alot. I really enjoy them. But not as much as I enjoy the peace and quiet of just my own breathing. Nothing around but myself. I love it. I love going over to the school and just relaxing. Taking a chill moment. And thinking about my life and writing in my journal.. Trust me them things are my life.
I feel so much better after writing in it. I love it. Anyways. I still have a massive crush on Jason. For those of who know me and have seen this man (Amanda, Angelica, Samantha) You know who I am talking about. Wish I had the courage to just ask him out. He's adorable. Damn it. Maybe before October I can ask him. If I don't have a heart attack thinging about it first. Shesh!!!
Later
CJ

Summer is offically here. Meaning my family.. as crazy as they are will be having ton of family picnics. Family flying in from back east... And the best part.... I might get to go to Tennessee with a very good freind of mine... He's born and raised.. This will happpen in Sept.... Late Summer. lol.. I just have to make up my mind weather I want to go or not.
Summer also means I get to hang out with Freinds, go swimming, play water volleyball, pick on neighbors that I don't like and trust me the feeling is mutual.. (Old man is an ass!!) Go to the school and just mainly be FREE!. I have already made numerous trips to the parks around here. I know its funny seeing and 21 year old in the park, playing. But its fun. lol, something to do... I look forward to getting out and going to movies listening to loud music, going for rides... I'm very excited about Summer. And am hoping that it's a good one. Cause last years Sucked Ass!! Started with my friends house catching on fire and ended with my Great Grandmother in the hospital/nursing home with a fractured Pelvic or whatever the hell those are called.!!!
~*ME*~