When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

After years of success with Arsenal, culminating in the 'invincibles' campaign of 2003/04, Arsene Wenger has been forced to take stock and build for the future.

Uneasy at investing in over-priced players, Wenger has instead opted to pack the club full of some of the best young players from around the world in the hope they will develop to realise their undoubted potential.

This is certainly one of the reason Arsenal have suffered a poor return in trophies, despite reaching cup finals, as they have failed to keep pace with Chelsea and Manchester United.

Despite having promising youngsters of the calibre of Spaniard Francesc Fabregas, Wenger stands accused of failing to replace the supreme talents of such players as Patrick Vieira, Sol Campbell and Robert Pires.

Even so, very few will hear words said against Wenger and with the Gunners now in their brand new 60,000-capacity Emirates Stadium there is a real belief that something special is being built for the future on the pitch.

Wenger's name was known to few when he took over at Arsenal in September 1996, but his studious style of management brought prolonged glory and hero status.

Wenger was never covered in glory as a player, only making his professional debut as a 28-year-old with Strasbourg after playing most of his career in the semi-pro game with Mulhouse and Vauban.

It would be as a coach that Wenger would make his name, starting off with Strasbourg's youth team in 1981. With a growing reputation as a man with an astute footballing mind, he moved to Cannes in 1983 to be their assistant manager.

Wenger's first move into management came a year later when he accepted a post with Nancy Lorraine. Although he failed to save the club from relegation in his first year in charge, the club kept faith.

The big break would come in 1987 as Monaco moved to make him their top man. Within a year Wenger won the French championship and was named Manager of the Year.

Several years of success would follow at the Stade Louis II stadium, including victory in the French Cup and defeat to Werder Bremen in the final of the European Cup Winners' Cup.

In 1994, Wenger turned down the chance to coach the French national team and also Bundesliga giants Bayern Munich to continue with Monaco. Unfortunately for Wenger, Monaco's finish of ninth that season was below par and he was dismissed.

It was then that Wenger's love affair with the Japanese game began. A year after leaving Monaco he was named coach of Nagoya Grampus Eight in what was still the fledgling J-League.

Wenger's managerial acumen transformed the club's fortunes and saw them climb from the bottom three to runners-up spot in just one year. He would win the Super Cup before the chance to coach in the Premiership came along.

Wenger was something of an unknown quantity in England as he arrived as Bruce Rioch's replacement in September 1996. It was clear that the deal had been in the pipeline for some time, as Wenger had insisted that Vieira and Remi Garde were bought before he put pen to paper - the duo had been signed a month earlier.

Arsenal would win the Double in his first full season in charge, 1997/98, which prompted Wenger to sign a new three-and-a-half year contract. For the following three seasons, however, the Gunners would be known as the bridesmaids and never the bride.

Wenger has built up a reputation as a great thinker, as well as a transfer market wizard. Although some may question his eyesight - he never seems to see an incident involving one of his own players.

The main criticism of Wenger's tenure in north London has been the club's terrible disciplinary record. Countless cards have been dished out to the Gunners, with Wenger claiming that referees have a hidden agenda against his club.

He was charged with 'threatening behaviour and physical intimidation' to fourth official Paul Taylor on the opening day of the 2000/01 season and was handed a 12-match touchline ban and a f

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