1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the
time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fu*k is yours? Do I point
at my cr*tch when I ask where the toilet is?


2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search
the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and
eat it too"... Fu*king right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say
"it's always the last place you look"... Of course
it is..
Why the fu*k would you keep looking after you've found it?
Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see
that?"... No tosser,
I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the
fu*king floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"....Didn't
really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'...Which is it? If
it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short"...What the fu*k?? Life
is the longest damn thing anyone ever fu*king does!! What can you do
that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has
the buscomeyet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they
used to be'.
So what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that
nice?' No it's
really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks,
that's an image I really didn't need.

13.
McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It's has
to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well
I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fu*king McTosser.

14. When you're involved in an accident and someone asks 'are
you alright?'
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off!

♥TO ALL MY FRIENDS - luv u!♥
♥ ι gσт уσυя вα¢к
♥ уσυ gσт мιηє,
♥ ι'ℓℓ нєℓρ уσυ συт
♥ αηутιмє!
♥ тσ ѕєє уσυ нυят,
♥ тσ ѕєє уσυ ¢яу,
♥ мαкєѕ мє ωєєρ
♥ αη∂ ωαηηα ∂ιє
♥ αη∂ ιƒ уσυ αgяєє
♥ тσ ηєνєя ƒιgнт
♥ ιт ωσυℓ∂η'т мαттєя
♥ ωнσѕє ωяσηg σя яιgнт..
♥ ιƒ α вяσкєη нєαят
♥ ηєє∂ѕ α мєη∂
♥ ιℓℓ вє яιgнт тнєяє
♥ тιℓℓ тнє єη∂
♥ ιƒ уσυя ¢нєєкѕ αяє ωєт
♥ ƒяσм ∂яσρѕ σƒ тєαяѕ
♥ ∂ση'т ωσяяу
♥ ℓєт gσ σƒ уσυя ƒєαяѕ
♥ нαη∂ ιη нαη∂
♥ ℓσνє ιѕ ѕєηт
♥ ωє'ℓℓ вє ƒяιєη∂ѕ
♥ тιℓℓ тнє єη∂!!!!!!!!

♥LIFE GOES ON!!♥
♥уσυ gσттα тαкє тнє gσσ∂ ωιтн тнє вα∂, ѕмιℓє ωιтн тнє ѕα∂,....
♥ℓσνє ωнαт уσυ gσт, яємємвєя ωнαт уσυ нα∂....
♥ℓєαяи тσ fσяgινє, вυт иєνєя fσяgєт....
♥ℓєαяи fяσм уσυя мιѕтαкєѕ, вυт иєνєя яєgяєт....
♥ρєσρℓє ¢нαиgє αи∂ тнιиgѕ gσ ωяσиg....
♥вυт נυѕт яємємвєя, ℓιfє gσєѕ σи.!! ♥