Dear Amy,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me outside of your office and I saw you hit on your 'little pony' collection. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your old New Kids on the Block blanket to you, but I'll keep the result of that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I never forget that night and your cucumber-fetisism is weird.
Kiss my butt,
Lyndsay x














Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning ( to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)




then tag 10 people

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car eating
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – a Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salty-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8 )What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clipp
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwe

What Time Is It? - 19.38
Name? - Lyndsay (:
Nickname - Hastie (;
Where Were You Born? - irvine
What Is Your Birth Date? - 30.03.94
What Do You Want? - money (:
Where Do You Want To Live? - dk
How Many Kids Do You Want? - dk
What Would You Want To Name A Girl? - Kellie or Lilah
What Would You Want To Name A Boy? - Tyler or Josh
Do You Want To Get Married? - yeaaah

- - Are You??…

A Cuddler? - yeaah
A Morning Person? - nope haa!
Are You A Perfectionist? - dk
An Only Child? - nope "/
Catholic? - nope
In Your Pajamas - yepp (:
Currently Suffering From A Broken Heart? - nopes
Okay Styling Other People's Hair? - a little xD
Left handed? - nopes
Addicted To Bebo? - yeaaah ;D
Shy Around The Opposite Gender? - not reaaally xD

--Do You??...

Bite Your Nails? - nopes
Get Paranoid At Times? - depends xD
Currently Regret Something That You Have Said? - nope (;
Curse Frequently When You Get Mad? - yeaaah ;$
Enjoy Country Music? - mmm, no!
Enjoy Jazz Music? - nope
Enjoy Smoothies? - yeaaaah!
Enjoy Talking On The Phone? - my hobby (;
Have A Lot To Learn? - dk what that means ;$ xD
Have A Pet? - nope, it died "/
Have A Tendency To Fall For The "Wrong" Person? - yeaaah xD
Have All Your Grand-Parents? - nope, only my grans "/ miss you papa (u)
Have Been Told That You Are Smart? - yeaaah, dk why xD
Changed Alot Over The Past Year? - alot (:
Had The Cops Called On You? - yeaaah xD long story!

- - Who Last??…

Slept In Your Bed Besides You? - can't remember xD
Saw You Cry? - erm, dk.
Went To The Movies With You? - my dad, his girlfriend and Kirsty
You Went To Town With? - Kimberley, Bethanie and Kirsty
You Went To Dinner With? - dk.
You Talked On The Phone? - my dad ;D
Broke Your Heart? - he doesn't even deserve his name on my bebo ;D
Made You Laugh? - Max <3

Would You Rather??…

Pierce Your Nose Or Tongue? - nose xD
Be Serious Or Be Funny? - funny (:
Drink Whole Or Skimmed Milk? - skimmed. i hate whole milk "/
Die In A Fire Or Drown? - dk
Parents Or Enemies - dk what that even means xD

- - Are You??…

Simple Or Complicated? - if simple minded counts xD
Gay? - straight, ofcourse (;

- - Do You Prefer??...

Flowers Or Candy? - flowers
Gray Or Black? - both
Colour Or Black And White Photo? - black and whitee
Lust Or Love? - love
Sunrise Or Sunset? - sunset
M&M's Or Skittles? - m&m's (:
Staying Up Late Or Waking Up Early? - staying up late (:

- - Answer Truthfully??...

Do You Like Anyone? - kind of ;$
Do They Know? - hopefully not ;O
Single Or Taken? - single (;

- - Do You Prefer??...

Sun Or Moon? - sun
Winter Or Summer? - summer
10 Acquaintances Or Having Two Best Friends? - two best friends
Sun Or Rain? - sun
Vanilla Ice-Cream Or Chocolate Ice-Cream? - both ;D
Alone Or Company? - depends how i feel.

- - In The Last Month, Have You??...

Bought Something You Don't Need? - yeaaah
Sang In Front Of People? - yeaaah, funnily enough ;D
Been Hugged? - yeaaah
Felt Stupid? - all the time xD
Missed Someone? - yeaaaah "/
Got Drunk? - yeaaaah ;D