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>Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster
>than an ambulance.
>
>Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk
>all the way to the back of the shop to get their
>prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
>at the front.
>
>Only in Sotland do people order double cheeseburgers,
>large fries and a DIET coke.
>
>Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and
>chain the pens to the counters.
>
>Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of
>pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn
>mower in the garage.
>
>Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to
>screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
>miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in
>the first place.
>
>Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in
>front of a skating rink.
>
>NOT TO MENTION..
>
>3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on
>their tongue.
>
>142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all
>pins from new shirts.
>
>58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives
>instead of screwdrivers.
>
>31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their
>Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
>
>19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that
>Christmas decorations were chocolate.
>
>Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year
>after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
>
>18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new
>jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
>
>A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last
>two years after trying to open bottles of beer with
>their teeth.
>
>5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving
>out-of-control Scalextric cars.
>
>and finally...
>
>In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with
>fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the
>toilet.
>
>SCOTLAND - Love it, or Leave it!

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Nike condoms ~ just do it

Peugeot condoms ~ the ride of your life

New galaxy textured condoms ~ why have rubber when you can have silk?

KFC condoms ~ they're finger licking good

Safeway's condoms ~ lightening the load

Abbey National condoms ~ because life is complicated enough

Coca-cola condoms ~ the real thing

Duracell condoms ~ you can just keep going and going

Pringles condoms ~ once u pop u cant stop

Burger King ~ home off the whopper

Flash condoms ~ just sit back relax and let Flash do all the hard work, so you dont have to

Halfords condoms ~ we go the extra mile

Royal mail condoms ~ i saw this and thought of us

Andrex condoms ~ soft strong and very long

Renault condoms ~ size really does matter!

Ronseal condoms ~ does exactly what it says on the packet

Domestos condoms ~ gets rite under the rim!!

Carlsberg condoms ~ probably the best condom in the world

AA condoms ~ you always have AA friend

Pepperami condoms ~ its a bit of an animal

Polo condoms ~ the condom with the hole (very poor seller)

Halifax condoms ~ who gives you extra?

charmin condoms ~ break the habbit (and use protection)

Tellietubbie condoms ~ again again!!!

Cadburys condoms ~ give into your happiness

Kumala condoms ~ perfect together

Red Bull condoms ~ gives u wings

Cadburys creme egg flavoured condoms ~ how do u eat yours?

Sure crystal condoms ~ unbeatable against white marks

UGC cinema condoms ~ coming soon

Lynx condoms ~ because you never know when

Treseme condoms ~ used by professionals


Gillete condoms ~ the best a man can get