Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty

Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Derek Zoolander: Seriously, do you like service yourself ten times a day?

Derek Zoolander: I'm not an ambi-turner.

Derek Zoolander: Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?

Mugatu: Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!

Maury Ballstein: Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

Derek Zoolander: Put a cork in it, Zane!

Mugatu: Obey my dog!

Mugatu: It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!

Mugatu: Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?

Hansel: Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?

Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!

Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...
Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!

Derek Zoolander: Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?

Derek Zoolander: [high-pitched cough] ... I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop. It's not very well ventilated down there.
Larry Zoolander: For Christ's sake, Derek, you've been down there one day. Talk to me in thirty years.

Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.

Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.

Derek Zoolander: You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

Derek Zoolander: Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogalizor I am.
Matilda: What?
Derek Zoolander: A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?

Maury Ballstein: What do we do when we fall off the horse?
Derek Zoolander: [thoughtfully looking up and mouthing the words silently] ... fall off the horse...
Maury Ballstein: [looking to supply finish] ... we... get back on!
Derek Zoolander: Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast.

Brint, Meekus, Rufus: [in unison] Orange Mocha Frappuccino!

Derek Zoolander: [to Winona Ryder] Look, I gotta go pee, but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196229/...