Old Godzilla was hopping around
Tokyo City like a big playground
when suddenly Batman burst from the shade
and hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
but didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu
when Aaron Carter came out of the blue

and he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
but before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
and took an AK47 out from under his hat
and blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
but he ran out of bullets and he ran away
because Optimus Prime came to save the day

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
and then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
but Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
and Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
when Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
but suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
and Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
then he jumped in the air and did a summersault
while Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare, oooh

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...

angels sang out in immaculate chorus
down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
who deliver a kick which could shatter bones
into the crotch of Indiana Jones
who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
as Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
but Chuck saw through his clever disguise
and he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
all came out of no where lightning fast
and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
it was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
with civilians looking on total awe

and the fight raged on for a century
many lives were claimed, but eventually
the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
of Ultimate Destiny

You're not human
You're a miracle
A preacher with an animal's face
In your sexy
Neon smokescreen
Lie the supersalesmen of vanity
Even your shadow worships you
In you jungle solitude
With the orgies of the sacrament
And the seal of flagellants
God saves those who save their skin
From the bondage that we're in
I'm elated
I could cut you
And remove the sheath of your ignorance
Bless the eunuch
And the skoptsi
Will you hurt me now and make a million?
Say cheese, baby
We all love you
But it's a cheap world and you don't exist...
Slit the fabric of the right now
Spread your legs and wear the crown
Tell me how long, lord, how long?
Till I get my beauty sleep?
Now the hourglass is empty
The moment of my de sex-ing
Cut it
Cut it
Cut this cancer from my soul
Now that I've made it...
I'm finally naked

Pour shame all over us
Harden into a crust
- - - cement - - -
Forget the glamour and
Mumble a jackhammer
- - - under your breath - - -
Hide your face in the curtains
Better unsaid, so close
And it rolls off the tongue
Almost
The world expects the pose
Perfectly natural
- - - loosen up - - -
Smearing wet concrete
And swearing youll never be
- - - caught - - -
At your weakest, etched in stone
And were frozen here, peeking
Almost
Sweet talk
Caffeine
Make contact
Up to my neck
I confess in quicksand
But its so easy for you
Theres always one thing
Do you have something to tell me?
Say something
Anything
Im warning you
Im warning you
Im fucking you
Im warning you
Relax
Its just a phase
Youll grow out of it
Believe anything anyone ever tells you
Its not funny anymore
Its thing you hate the most
The thing you hate the most
The thing you hate almost