** HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN **

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
basket, according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.

Washyour hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner
enhanced.

Wash your face with Garnier Face scrub for
10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Dry off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small Country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.

Spray face with Garnier Face toner, and then Garnier Face moisturiser


Moisturise toes, feet, legs, bum, sholders, arms and neck until smelling fantastic.


** HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN **

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile on the floor.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her
making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck
on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo
Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her
and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.


I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

>> Fine
>> This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
>> and you need to shut up.
>>
>> Five Minutes
>> If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
>>
>>
>> Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5
>> more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
>>
>> Nothing
>> This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you
>> should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing"
>> usually end in "fine".
>>
>> Go Ahead
>> This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
>>
>> Loud Sigh
>> Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood
>> by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
>> wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with
>> you over "Nothing".
>>
>> That's Okay
>>
>>
>> This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make
>> to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and
>> hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
>>
>> Thanks
>> This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a
>> woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just
>> say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.