JDaddy

Bebo looks cheap

29 tygodni temu | ja też! | Odpowiedz

JDaddy
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  • Mężczyzna, Serce 124
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  • Wyświetlenia: 11 754
  • Jest z nami od: March 2006
  • Ostatnio online: 17 tygodni temu
  • bebo.gazeta.pl/sexneck

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I don't use bebo very often, but if I did.
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  • Working for Meteor

    'See i'd been working on the colours trying to get the orange to look a little less jarring and more . . . i don't know, in keeping with the look of your old website'

    I was sure my client; Rob from Meteor (the mobile phone company), would eventually see my reasoning behind my bold new redesign of their website. Sure, he didn't look too pleased right now playing with the prototype but I knew that I could butter him up with some big graphic design type words like: "complimentary " or "Bauhaus".

    'Is this your idea of a joke?'

    'Rob, man listen you just can't see the whole picture yet, I need to add some complimentary colours and we're go!'

    'You've changed the name of the website from 'Meteor' to ' Chasing Bitches With Straws', right?'

    'yep'

    'so meteor.ie is now chasingbitcheswithstraws.ie?'

    'It's so new! So unexpected! People will be coming on to look at a new phone or some shit and-'

    'and the pictures of some guy dressed up in a bee suit chasing women around with guns? And the videos??'

    'they're not guns Rob, they're straws'

    'they look like g- OH MY GOD!! Is this real??'

    The execution videos were not in fact real, however they were quite convincing.

    'No Rob, they're not real!'

    'So what the fuck is this?? We pay you thousands to redesign our website and you come up with this??'

    'look just click there'

    I pointed toward a large brown link labeled "cannon". I was sure this would cheer him up.

    'cannon, oh great that's so related to phones isn't it?'

    'no need to be sarcastic Robby'

    The cannon page was dedicated entirely to one sound file that played the sound of a cannon going off. The background image was of a large cannon.

    'You're fired get the hell out'

    'What the fuck are you talking about?? Didn't you just hear the cannon??'

    'get out you fucking freak!'

    'look, look just click on the 'chickens can cry too' link! click it man!'

    'GET OUT!!!'

    The cannon sound file played again. I laughed, it was pretty funny. How the hell did he keep a straight face?

    0 komentarzy 569 dni

  • First Date

    -this story is fictional-

    I usually don't do this, it was 4am and I was back at her place. We'd just taken a taxi which I had drunkenly paid for before falling out into a puddle on the side of the road. "oops, i fell." I said as she helped me up.

    She noticed.

    "Wow, nice place!!"
    But she didn't answer, so I said it again. This time she told me to be quiet.
    WTF?
    I suppose if she could hear me from the kitchen while I was in the toilet with the door closed then maybe I was being quite loud. Also, just as an aside, I peed in her toilet scrubber thing. Sweet.

    We had some more drinks and attempted some conversation. I'm sure it was something interesting and political or . . .something, but I kept either drifting off, or having sudden urges to get up, jump around and start kicking things. The sexy glass stereo looked quite seductive, as did the bucket of water presumably left out for an animal of some sort. Unless that's how people in this country drink water.
    "Who's that creepy looking guy with you in that photo?" I asked " Ha ha, he looks like fucking Freddy Kruger or something!" I then proceeded to imitate his claw hand.
    "My Mom"
    "Shit sorry!" I said, failing to hold in my laughter.
    "No, sorry, ehhh-"

    I had totally forgotten her name. Shit.

    I'm sure there are a lot of things to do when you forget someone’s name in a situation like this. . . secretly text your friend from the toilet and ask them, take a look around the place for letters with her name on them, or drunken Jonathan's favourite - replace her name with the word "lady".


    " lady, lady, lady . . ."
    She looked worried, I think I was looking above her when I said that, I couldn't focus.
    ". . . yes Jonathan?"
    It was about the right time to go in for the kill, I thought. Either now or never, I was getting uncontrollably retarded, and sex is easy, isn't it?
    "So lady, lady do you think it's about time to go in for the kill? Or,. . . ya?"
    I didn't give her many options with that question ?.
    "What? Are you going to murder me or something? Ha ha ha"
    She was laughing, I was back on track. What was she laughing at?
    "Ha ha ha, no, you know, like, the old, like - should we - ah jez come on!"
    "sex?"
    "maybe . . ."
    How did I manage to spit on her saying the word maybe?
    "aren't you a little drunk? you haven't actually looked at me in a while."
    Shit my eyes were closed! I opened them, she was right, my head was looking straight down between my legs now.
    "a come on now like, we're Irish, we can handle our drink"

    -I'd forgotten where I was.-

    "We're Irish?"
    Ahhh shit she noticed. I thought maybe taking off my clothes would be a good idea to sway the situation in my direction, it usually does, my body is totally badass. Must be from all that drinking and playing guitar.

    I passed out with my pants off and my jumper over my head. The next morning I woke up with a blanket over me and a bucket beside me. How did my shoes stay on?
    "call me" she said.

    I never called.;)





    1 komentarz 618 dni

  • The Reason I headbutted a Grenade covered in barbed wire and poo.

    It's rare that someone ever fully knows you. Not Rare. More than rare (also not in the bloody steak sense). You may, for instance have secrets locked deep inside you that you don't, or wont ever tell anybody.

    I have a story to tell you that I have never told anyone before because it was just too shamefull. So shamefull that everytime I think about it I get a feeling worse than leaving a goldfish rot in your asshole for three weeks.

    Yes. Your asshole.

    So, there I was - a couple of years ago - just walking along listening to my iPod. Bethovan's 9th symphany (produced by Timbaland, feat JT and 50). When I saw something. It looked like a Grenade except it was covered in barbed wire. On closer inspection I found that there was poo smeared all over its majestic murky green outer shell. The smell was dull and brown, like an elephants trunk after you leave it up your ass for a couple of days (weeks).
    I didn't have a clue what the fuck to do. I was just crouching there, staring blankly at this deadly, yet smelly thing. It was just lying there... seducing me, beckoning if you will.

    So I headbutted it and got shit all over my face.

    The End.

    3 komentarze 797 dni

zamknij Quizy

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    Hangingbox - Karlshof Fest 09

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    • Coolaboola Events
      Coolaboola Events

      Coolaboola Events are proud to present:


      Daithí Ó Drónaí (Check him out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToDwe... )
      Fizzy Make Feel Good
      And special guests all the way from Argentina!


      The Pavilion, Sat Oct 10 @ 2pm.

      €8 / €7 with a flier!


      Free stuff for all attendees! Including Mr. Freezes, sweets and badges! :D :D


      ALL ages welcome!

      7 tygodni temu
    • Coolaboola Events
      Coolaboola Events

      Coolaboola in association with Kinsale Arts Week are proud to present:


      GRAND POCKET ORCHESTRA
      Machismo
      Small Cars


      A FREE gig as part of Teen Day at Kinsale Arts Week

      Saturday 18th July 2009 @ Short Quay, Kinsale; 4pm - 8.30pm.

      ALL ages welcome! :D


      Many other events taking place all day. For more info check out www.kinsaleartsweek.com

      20 tygodni temu
    • Darren
      luv Darren

      Ur page nd pic looks like a lonely hearts ad for an itinerant. sexy love for sexy man!

      22 tygodnie temu przez Komórka
    • Janette Looney
      luv Janette Looney

      party party party party. come home

      37 tygodni temu
    • Conor Long
      Conor Long

      they are still selling nivea aqua cool here

      39 tygodni temu
    • Conor Long
      Conor Long

      you are look clean these days

      39 tygodni temu
    • Janette Looney
      Janette Looney

      i only just got around to watching the dance off BRILLIANT were my eyes decieveing me or did ye do the ostrich??

      42 tygodnie temu
    • Ian McCarthy
      Ian McCarthy

      jdaddy.. whats going on man?? Just leaving you a comment to leave ya know that Machismo's debut E.P. launch party is on this coming thursday (29th) in The Pavillion, Carey's Lane.. Admission is €6 before 10pm and €8 after INCLUDING a copy of "The Swell". It's a HUGE nite for us and we're trying to fill the place so hope you and the rest of the hangingbox gang can make it along!! Would really appreciate the support.. oh and we're being interviewed on RED FM on sunday nite between 7:45 and 8:30pm if your near a radio. Hopefully see you then


      www.myspace.com/machismotheband

      44 tygodnie temu
    • Bartendar And The Thief
      Bartendar And The Thief

      Hows da insomnia?

      45 tygodni temu przez Komórka
    • Lillian C
      Lillian C

      I was so annoyed as I was doing the door and all of a sudden I heard the music by the time I ran over to the front door you were already after starting.Sorry about that it was one of those nights , I should have given the camera to Becks at the beginning.At least we got some anyway.Was the quality ok? Kieran took good ones anyway halfway through he took the camera as I had to keep running up to the stage and leaving the doorxx

      45 tygodni temu
    • Lillian C
      Lillian C

      Pics sent by email xx

      45 tygodni temu
    • Jess
      luv Jess

      how was the night??
      ELECTRIC i heard

      47 tygodni temu
    • Janette Looney
      luv Janette Looney

      your back yay! do you have credit? or will i continually text alex to get in contact wih you?

      48 tygodni temu
    • Coolaboola Events
      Coolaboola Events

      Hey there!

      Coolaboola has teamed up with FRED again for a Christmas all ages extravaganza!

      With support from Walter Mitty and the Realists, Ruby Apples and Suede Halo.

      The Pavilion.
      Sunday 21st December.
      Doors 1:30pm.
      Tickets €10.

      ALL AGES WELCOME!

      www.myspace.com/fredtheband
      www.myspace.com/rubyapplesmusic
      www.bebo.com/suedehalomusic

      (more from Coolaboola in the new year. watch this space!!!)

      48 tygodni temu
    • Adam Courtney
      Adam Courtney

      hey jon this is adam your brother:L i dont want to ruin my present to you like but i put depposit on coldplay tickets there a few days ago and im wondering what date you coming back......cuz the consert is on on the 21st i think thats if you want to go to it like . . . . i was passing ticket master the other day and the guy working there said there was thousands of tickets in so youv loads of time......

      49 tygodni temu
    • Joyce Fahy
      luv Joyce Fahy

      Yeah yeah please do :D

      50 tygodni temu
    • Janette Looney
      luv Janette Looney

      thats one fuck off snowball....i hope its made from snow ;)

      50 tygodni temu
    • Joyce Fahy
      Joyce Fahy

      whats up mr. jonathan dude? thats one big.............snowball!!!!

      50 tygodni temu
    • Kieran Collins
      luv Kieran Collins

      sup jdog, you better of got me a cracking xmas present!!! tonys getting very excited about your coming home party, your dog is after getting fucking HUGE!!!im slightly afraid to go up in case he eats me?

      50 tygodni temu