Q. Why don't they have Christmas at UCD?
A. They can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q. How can you tell if a UCD student is hetrosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the UCD campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

Q. What's the first thing a UCD bird does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at UCD?
A. With a restraining order.

Q. What does a UCD student call a NUIM student after graduation?
A. Boss.

Q. Did you hear that the library at UCD burned down?
A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the books weren't coloured-in yet.

Q. Why do UCD graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q. How do you get a UCD grad off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. How many NUIM students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him

Q. How many UCD students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three - One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead UCD student in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. If you see a UCD student on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q What do you have when 100 UCD students are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What do UCD students use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a UCDstudent. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the UCD student...twice.

Q. What do u call a UCD student in a suit?
A. The Defendant

Q. What do u call a NUIM graduate in a suit?
A. The UCD student's lawyer

</b>Day 1</b>

I arrived at McKee Barracks at 1000hrs. We were issued all our army gear, there was an awful lot of it, and it turns out that despite being given a long list of stuff to bring with us, we needed barely any of it. We were split up into our sections, which in my case was Delta Section, containing myself along with Sharon, Tara, Aine, and Damien. Our Section leader was Corporal Mc Ternan, and our 2 i/c was a Gunner called Mac.

We were brought in army trucks (not the safest way to travel, or the most comfortable) to somewhere near Crosscoolhrbour (I think), there we split up into groups and Kayaked 8 km down to either Russeltown or Bishopslane, stopping along the way to collect our gourmet food for the day, otherwise known as "Menu C" Ration pack. Once we arrived at our destination we were led to our campsite, which in our case (Delta Section) was a very old picnic area.

It was time for us to set up our "tents", we had already been told that we would be sleeping under canvas, but none of us quite realised what exactly was involved. We were given a poncho, and four bungee cables, and shown how to set up our 'bivvys'. Damien and I set up a two man bivvy, with the three girls going together. Basic is the only word to describe the accommodation!

After a meal of Chicken Curry, which was in my case cold, we were given a brief medical lecture on emergency first aid by a medic sergeant called Nugent. The lecture was on hypothermia, and hyperpyrexia, and ironically, some people found it hard to concentrate due to the cold.

We were then given a task to perform. Armies have been using pontoon bridges for decades, and it was our job to take the components of a bridge and build a raft with it. This we did, and under the able guidance of Sharon our Team Leader for the day, Delta section was the first section to be finished!

We were then given another lecture, this time on foot care. Afterwards we were shown where the latrines were and we were given our mobiles back in case anyone wanted to call their parents. Finally after some hot chocolate we settled down to sleep in what was a surprisingly comfortable bivvy.