fuck!
i hate her !

my mom is making me break up with my boyfriend
you know why?
because of the fucking distance
yea?
i know
i fucking GAVE UP on guys around here
this pisses me off so bad
i mean i know im not the prettiest girl around here
BUT FUCK!
give me a break!
ok?
this is what pissed me off
i asked if i culd only talk to him...
HIM!
that was the only acception
she said shell think about it
she never fucking did
it was a striaght out 'NO!"
i was like
"why?"
"because its long distance"
who fucking cares
whats the difference from goin out and picking up a random guy from the bar?
seriously!
shes like " why dont u date guys around here?"
me: "I cant"
her: "why not?"
me: "MOTHER! i get looked at weirdly if i go into fucking stores...YOU witnessed it!..NO ONE! wants to fucking date me!"
and then this pissed me off
she brought HIM up
FUCKING HIM!!!
her: "what about cody?"
cody?
CODY!?
what the fuck!?!?
i told her what happened between us
after trying for 15! fucking years to find a boyfriend i finally get one
cody..
he was using me!
I WAS USED AS A COVER UP FOR HIM ENGAGED TO A 12 YEAR OLD AND DATING A 26 YEAR OLD
he also used me sexually, show offing-ly, AND he made me sit on the phone for HOURS talking about girls that i never met
NEVER!
even heard about!
and!
he was suicidal
and threatened himself if i didnt 'do things' for him
fuck!

but the week earlier she said she would reconsider about talking to micheal
just to talk to him!
but no!
SHE DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!
it was a plain, straight "NO!"
fuck!
he doesnt have a computer
I CANT TALK TO HIM!
only phone!
gaah
and his balls didnt even drop low enuf for his voice to get outta mickey mouse mode D:
he said that HE would talk to HER for ME! and that he would make his parents talk to her as well!
and his parents would SLAUGHTER! him if they found out we were dating!
but he said he didnt care
I CAME FIRST TO HIM!

how cute is that?
he used to talk to me all night till he fell asleep
jessica and kayla! you know this!
u heard him!
ONLY FOR THINGS IN LIFE MAKE ME HAPPY !
AND ALL ARE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME!
1.
kayla!
2.
micheal
3.
MUSIC!
4.
walks

first kayla....her brother moved back in
I HARDLY EVER! see her anymore!
second comes the music that was taken away
my mom fucking hates what i listen to
i can only listen to music alone or on the bus anymore!
then the walks were taken away
its fuckin FREEZING OUT!
and then last.....michael
he made me smile nonstop
the only reason why im not as depressed as i suld be

so there goes everything
EVERTHING TO ME!
take away my phone
my computer
tv
my family
i dont fucking care
its those 4 people/things that matter
and now i have no real joy anymore

you know what
IM FUCKIN ALONE NOW!
i just want to be left alone
fuck it
guys EVERYWHERE are obsessed with me
ask kayla
on ONE site i counted 345 pages of guys trying to pick me up
and 10 people per page
DO THE MATH HERE
and this is wen i only left it alone for 2 weeks D:
but not ONE guy can like me around here
i lost weight
i dyed my hair
im still a virgin (thank gawd HE didnt take that from me)
i changed my style
all to try to fit who i am
i really dont care what people thing
BUT!
i still want them to notice
i may not be the PRETTIEST GIRL
but fuck! give me a chance
ok?
YOU GUYS DONT EVEN GET TO KNOW ME
YOU RUFUSE TO!!!!
what did i ever do to you guys to deserve this?
huh?
but no
I CANT GO ONE FUCKING DAY WITHOUT BEING MADE FUN OF!
appearently
im a whore
freak
stupid
weird
monstrosity
slut
fat
ugly

ALL OF THE FUCKING ABOVE AND MORE!
i had a fucking guy try to commit suicide over me because i wouldnt take him back
ok?
you know how horrible that makes me feel?
him trying to overdose on me?
if he died
NO MATTER
what you say
i would still would of felt it was MY fault

and FUCK DONT GET ME STARTED ON SAINT MICHEALS
i was fucking thin back then
but so

pain inside tears up your soul
no point in having a heart anymore
tears glisten your face
then they fall to the ground
to be nothing more than soaked up
by the thirsty dirt
no point in putting mascara on
it just bleeds down your cheek
almost like burning into your skin
no point in faking beauty with cover up and blush

its so hard to breath
taking in deep breaths
nothing more to be
painfully drained back out
im left in the dark
looking out for someone to comfort me
but i have to face the fact that no ones there
and will never be
i just wish there was just one person
that would be there
a friend maybe
or someone more
i would love to just have someone there for me
for always and forever
to look deep into your eyes
and get lost in beyond
but i never got that far
in meeting him

JOKE 1 - TEACHER


A teacher started off class by asking the question "if there were 5 birds sitting on a fence, and one was shot, how many were left?" Johnny raises his hand and the teacher calls on him. "there wouldnt be any birds left because the rest would of gotten scared of the gunshot and flew away" he replied. The teacher says "no, the answer is 4, but i like your way of thinking" so johnny says "ok, i have a question for you. there are 3 girls sitting on a bench eating icecream. the first one is gently licking the side, the second one gorged on the icecream and is now suckin on the cone, and the third one is gently biting the tip of the icecream, which one is married??" Blushing the teacher answers "well, it has to be the one that gorged on the icecream and is now sucking on the cone" Johnny replys "no, the one with the wedding ring, but i like your way of thinking"

JOKE 2 - WIFE VS GRILL


A guy and his wife were working in their garden when all of a sudden his wife bends over. Seeing this, the guy repied "WOW you have a big butt. i bet its bigger than the length of my grill" So just to make sure, he got a tape measurer and measured the length of the grill then his wifes butt. He says "I was right, your butt is 2 in wider than my grill" His wife ignored this for now.
So later on that night, the guy was getting frisky and making moves torwards his wife. His wife scolded him off and scooted more towards the end of her side of the bed. Worried the guy asks her "whats wrong" the wife replied "well, im not firring up this big grill to cook your small wienie.."


JOKE 3 - GORILLA


A small zoo in alabama holds one of the rarest female gorrilas. So one day, the female Gorilla got agitated with all the male humans around her. So the zoo keeper looks information up on her behavior and finds out that she is in heat. Since there are no other male Gorillas on the premises, he goes to his redneck janitor and asks him " will you have sex with this gorilla for $500??" The janitor replys "ok but on 3 conditions....first, i dont want to kiss her. Second, i dont want anyone to find out about this." The zoo keeper agrees and asks, "ok, but wat is the third condition?" The janitor replys "well, i need some time to come up with the $500"

JOKE 4 - HOSTIMOLTA


An american man and his japenese buisness partner had to go to japan for a buisness trip. His buisness partner knew how to speak japanese, but he will come in later on in the joke. So, while in japan, the american hired a hooker. All night she was screaming "HOLSTIMOLTA, HOLSTIMOLTA" Well, the american forgot what this meant and kept goin at it. When he was done, he thought he pleased her to his very extent because she was breathing really hard and screaming at him in japanese. So the next day, he goes golfing with his buisness partner. On the last hole, he had to get a hole in one to get a perfect score. So she shot and got a hole in one. Everyone is congratulating him in japanese and the only thing he can think of to say is "HOSTIMOLTA".......worried, his buisness parter goes up and asks him "what you mean wrong hole??"