What an usual situation our local GAA stars and the supporting Cork public have found themselves in after this year's county finals.

Cork footballer Michael Cussen recently helped Sarsfields to win the senior county hurling title while All-Star hurler Ronan Curran lined out for St. Finbarr's to help his side win the intermediate football championship.


Even at this resolution we really dont need to point out Michael 'Elysian Tower' Cussen

While All-Ireland hurling medallist Curran acquitted himself admirably in a football full-forward line, Glanmire tower Michael Cussen bagged the Evening Echo Man-of-the-Match award as well as a superb full forward's goal at a crucial stage in the second half when Bride Rovers were beginning to dominate.

It was also interesting that one of the last legendary dual players, Teddy McCarthy (Peace Be Upon Him) was part of the management team that helped steer Sars to their long awaited victory after a tense wait of a half-century. For younger readers who only joined us in the last decade Teddy Mac achieved the coveted double in 1990 with Cork's hurlers and footballers.



To reduce carbon emmissions Kieran 'Fraggy' Murphy mounted a pieball for the victory tour.

This is something that, for all their media coverage, a Kerry, Tyrone or Kilkenny man will never achieve as long as they continue to ignore one code in favour of another. The only other athletes in the 32 counties to achieve a double of course are our own Rebelettes.

So, whatever the debate about the greatest GAA players of all time, be they male or female, Rocks of Cloyne or Gladiators from Glanmire you can be sure the discussion won't have to go beyond the Cork county bounds.

The point is that the dual-player rule is now on Cork fan's lips again especially on our discussion forum. Currently, club players excelling at hurling and football with their clubs must choose one code at inter-county level. This often leaves players in a conundrum. Will they end up merely on the squad with their preferred code or in the starting fifteen with their second preference?



Curran grabs another poor young fellas hat and starts tagging it.

Thinking of it in terms of the opposition helps highlight the issue better. Any visiting inter-county players watching the fantastic action in Pairc Úi Chaoimh during the club hurling final returned to their own single-code counties knowing that the man-of-the-match of Cork's annual hurling showcase will not be able to threaten them in 2009. He will be busy with the footballers. Pretty nice thought if you're from Waterford or Kilkenny.

For Nemo challengers Douglas an alternative dilemma arises. Potentially, there are twelve Douglas players who took part in Sunday's football final who will line out in the intermediate hurling final against Blarney next week. So the conundrum for Douglas GAA is this.

Would they have had a better chance of toppling Nemo's footballing dictatorship in Cork if all their footballers that lined out against their neighbours last Sunday had had their camáns locked away for the year? Nemo might be a dual code club in theory but haven't won a hurling title since an intermediate win in 1971 so maybe the answer for Douglas is 'yes' but this would effectively penalise them for pushing hard at both Gaelic games.




Action from the Kilkenny senior football championship

Kilkenny operate this one coded system to its extreme with many of the county's main clubs blatantly describing themselves as "hurling clubs" without a single reference to football on their websites.

Interestingly, all star hurlers Eddie Brennan and Jackie Tyrell recently competed in the Kilkenny Senior Football Final for their clubs and Eoin Larkin is one of the James Stephens club's best footballers. However one must take into account the pathetic state of the game in that county before rushing to conclusions.

The use of the word 'senior' does not in any way

Things in life aren’t always quite what they seem,
there’s more than one given angle to any one given scene.
So bare that in mind next time you try to intervene
on any one given angle
to any one given scene.

Mark’s Story
My name’s Mark, I go to Uni and College,
don’t socialise that much,
I just revise and build knowledge.
At times I find that I become a virtual recluse
and let my belt of interaction hang decisively loose.
But I came here to learn, that’s the life that I choose
and if people think I’m boring then they can bring their abuse.
See, a lot of people think I’m boring and say that maybe I’m a weirdo and maybe I’m gay but that’s cool,
‘cause when I get a good job and good pay I’ll get a house for just my brother and me some day.
That’s the reason I’m here,
just to build for my future.
If it means better grades I’d even sleep with my tutor.


Paul’s Story
My name’s Paul, I’ve been a guard for six months and the shop that I guard is better than most dumps and I like it here, my boss is a pro, he’s taught me tricks of the trade other guards wouldn’t know. He’s taught me in this game there’s some rules you gotta bend and not to forget these thieving pricks ain’t your friends and appearance is key there’s a message to send and above all it’s your fellow guards to defend. Today my boss was stabbed by some low-life psycho, He’s in hospital now so every night that’s where I go, he’s on the brink but he’s showing no fear though ‘cause if he dies there, he’ll be dieing a hero.


Keith’s Story
My name’s Keith, I ain’t so much a racist. But if one reached out their hand I'd decline their embrace. I work security in a shop, in charge of 5 other guards, I got all their respect ‘cause I run this shit hard. I nicked one kid today, didn’t show enough respect and attention. I grabbed him by his neck as my form of redemption. Didn’t do no harm, just made sure that it hurt, it ain’t going by the book but believe me it works. Then I sent him on his way, this little shit knows the score now. I saw a little bit of fear, he won’t darken my door now. That’s what I do, stop these kids from decline, do what their parents won’t do, put down some boundaries and lines.


Billy’s Story
My name’s Billy. I’ve been beaten since I was three, Mum died when I was born and Dad takes it out on me. He ain’t a bad man, He just gets drunk and feels alone, I tend to go for walks and hope he’s asleep when I get home. Don’t like to talk about it though. As I said, it ain’t his fault, it only happens when he’s drunk as a last resort. Wanted to get him a gift, to show my support, but had no money and I stole and I guess I got caught. At times like that, I tend to switch of my mind, stare blankly into space and let what happens unwind. I seemed to anger this guard, he put his hands around my neck, he said it’s time for me to learn some manners and respect. It hurt. But I’ve had worse before, it made me realise life is just a series of wars. I went straight home that day and locked the bathroom door. Took a blade to both wrists, they won’t hurt me no more.


Mark’s Story Part 2
My name’s Mark and today I was told my brother is dead. I returned home from university, and burst into tears on his bed. On his pillow I found his suicide note and read what had happened that day and what had fucked up his head! The anger I felt there are no words to express, I filled with so much rage there is no way to digest. I grabbed a knife, I went to town, it was time to regress. Back to an eye for an eye, last breath for last breath. I went straight up to the counter, I said I’d like to speak to the guard who nicked my brother on Tuesday of this week. As the girl knocked on the door and disappeared out of sight, I put my hand in my pocket, gripped the knife tight. This was it, as she pointed me out to the guard, My h

Jay: Yo lunchbox, hurry it up.

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Sissy: Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag.

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Jay: I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck
[referring to Silent Bob]
Jay: , none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.

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Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
Jay: What buzz?
Holden: The Internet buzz.
Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?
Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.

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Banky: Stop the movie? What are you, crazy?
Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie.
Banky: That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that.
Jay: This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker.
Banky: You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do, but Miramax - you know, Miramax Films - paid me a shitload of money for Bluntman and Chronic. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website, is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN!
Silent Bob: Oh, but I think it is... We had a deal with you, on the comics remember, for likeness rights, and as we're not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis, for your intellectual property, Bluntman and Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position.
Jay: Yeah.

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Tricia Jones: [on "Bluntman and Chronic: The Movie"] Well! That was just another paean to male adolescence and it's refusal to grow up.
Alyssa Jones: Yeah, sis. But it was better than "Mallrats". At least Holden had the good sense to leave his name off of it.
Tricia Jones: Why didn't Miramax option his other comic instead. You know, the one about you and him and your "relationship"?
Alyssa Jones: Oh, "Chasing Amy"? That would never work as a movie.

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Jay: Do they say who's fuckin' playing us in the movie?
Holden: No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.
Jay: Who?
Holden: You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting?
Jay: You mean that fuckin' movie with Mork from Ork in it?
Holden: Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either... but Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".
Jay: Word, bitch, Phantoms like a mallfucker.

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Jay: Affleck, you the *bomb* in Phantoms yo!

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Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Here's your coffee