This video is BRILLIANT!!!!!!
Can't stop watching it

I am off on a moan so thot i wud write them down

In no particular order....

1. Dont tell me to smile. If im unhappy leave me alone. I will smile when i feel like smiling. There is no point tellin me to smile if i dont want to. It will not make me any happier... it just annoys me.

2. Hair extensions.....eughhhh

3. Spelling and grammatical errors on offical paperwork. I am no Shakespeare, but basic grammer isnt exactly rocket science. You are just being lazy.

4. Most Scottish strawberries suck. They are watery, sour and
tasteless and no i dont want to give them flavour with a rich, dark chocolate truffle sauce or with sugar..... they r fruit, they r meant to be healthy.

5. Most Esporta members annoy me.

6. Esporta children are worse than the adults.

7. Employees at phones 4 you.

8. Those people who try and sell you those £3 a month discount cards for restaurants in glasgow. For about the 30th time, no, i dont want one, and no, ill still not want one when i walk past u again.

9. Neds, in town, in cars, who think they have a chance.

10. Neds in general, i have no time for you at all and being civil to you takes up time.

11. People who go "The Muse?? who are they?"

12. When someone comes up to me and goes "Oh my god. You used to work in Mcdonalds Milngavie didn't you!!!"
What and im supposed to be like " oooh you noticed! how lovely"

13. Asda smartprice, Tesco value, Aldi, Lidl.

14. How they have reduced the sugar content on orange Fanta, it tastes horrible now!!! and its not even the diet or zero variety!

15. When you get up in the morning like "yes want some buttery white bread toast and some strawberry jam white toast (seperate from the butter)" and then u realise all that is in the breadbin is crappy brown mulitgrain pish and a bag of mouldy white bread.

16. People who preach at me when i dont want to learn anything.

Lara - "Mehhhhh! mehhhhhh!!"

Marj - (reading the bible)"..and god created day&night and even ing......ing??..... oh no wait, and evening!!!"

Marj - (making a "Team 'don" tshirt)
Joy-" marj u need to put an apostrophe at the start of "don" to show it is short for London...
Marj "what?? to show what?? eh.... ok"
*sometime later...*
Joy " marj..... why does ur tshirt hav a COMMA in front of don??? hahahahhaa"
Marj - "but i dont get what the thing is for!!!!"

Steph - "God i dont wanna go home, i have like NO food and no money to buy it!! I think ill buy flour and make stuff.... its cheap"
Joy - "But if ur gonna make stuff with flour you are gonna have to buy egg and milks........hmm...... got the plural round the wrong way there didnt i"

Joy - (at fruit buffet at breakfast)"oooh!! im going to have some plop plops"(taking some prunes onto her plate)
Marj -(looking at the prunes genuinely thinking they are called plop plops) "plop plops?? what are they?? i have never heard of them before"

(marj and steph arriving at Wembley to seeMUSE, walking towards the entrances with loads of excited muse fans)
Marj(looking at steph funnily) - "steph?? why are you breathing like that??"
Steph (unaware she is breathing much heavier than usual)
"like what???...gasp.... am i breathing funny??....gasp...gasp......gasp..
 ( realisation kicks in)
oh my god.......gasp.. i think im hyperventilating"

Joy - (at breakfast ordering cooked breakfast)
"can i have hash browns, bacon and boiled eggs please??"
waiter - "and how would you like ur eggs done??"
Joy (confused silence) "....umm................well done??"
Susan/marj "hahahahahaha they rnt a steak!!"


Steph, joy and marj in arrivals waiting for taxi
Steph- (an unknown number comes up on phone)
"omg guys that random guy is trying to phone me again.....some1 answer!!"
Man on phone asks how i am and asks me to remind him of my name
Joy "..hello??..... hi......yeah its me.... steph..... yeah..... oh right its..S....T.....E....F...ummm"( realises she spelled steph wrong so hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Steph "guys!!!!! my phone doesnt kno this number....marj u take it!!"
Marj "(answers phone) MEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!MEHHHHHH!!!"( hangs up)
(3 of us pissing ourselves)
Phone goes again....same number
Marj answers "Hello??? ehh.... yeahh...sorry yeah are just coming...... SHIT GUYS!!! THAT WASNT THE RUBY BLUES GUY!! THAT WAS THE TAXI DRIVER!!!!"

Will not forget -
The smell in marj and joys room, god maybe something died in there, or maybe it was just the festering mcds and the cold, half-eaten quarter pounders next to joys pillow when she wakes up that caused that stench.

The disbelief i was in when i heard that a drunken joy dropped a mcds fanta all over lobby at 3am, so her and marj scarpered, then realised that they didnt have a room key and so marj had to go downstairs to face the man on reception mopping up the fanta and pretend she knew nothing about it.

Stinking out the entire plane with fake tan smell

The smell of hairspray and laras burning hair

Joy who is never, ever on a whitey in glasgow....... putting her heart and soul into throwing up in the toilets of london club china whites!!!

Ella...ella...eh...eh...eh!!!!