Wayne Kelso
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Male, 20,
301
- from Newcastleton / Edinburgh
- Single
- Profile views: 13,173
- Last active: 6 days ago
- www.bebo.com/Shagileo_Gigolo
- Tagline
- Fat People Are Hard To Kidnap...Starve Them First
- Me, Myself, and I
- <---- Walk This Way!
Halloween been and gone, didn't scare anyone. Shame!!
Living in an awesome flat with 3 fellow Napierists. Thats Christine 'Bouncing Around In A Giant, Snow-Filled Glass Ball!' Mackay, David 'Leave Me Alone, I'm Warming Up My Room' Lynch, Alan 'Lectures No Longer Do Anything For Me' Sproule and our Honourary Flat Peep, Wild Bill 'The Man Who Stares At Goats In The Hope They Will Give Him A Christmas Present'
- Music
- AC/DC, The Offspring, System Of A Down, Guano Apes, Deftones, Fire Fly, Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Slipknot, Rise Against, Korn, Metallica, Anberlin, Incubus, Stone Gods, Saliva, Staind, Stone Sour, Shinedown, Iron Maiden, Pantera, The Exies, Hot Action Cop, White Zombie, Zebrahead
- Films
- Pulp Fiction, Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Point Break, The Green Mile, V For Vendetta, Me, Myself & Irene, Blow, Human Traffic, In Bruges, The Machinist, MST3K, Sleepy Hollow, Liar Liar, Brubaker, A Knight's Tale, Trainspotting, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, The Big Fucking Lebowski, Gone In 60 Seconds Mean Girls (Guilty Pleasure) The 51st State, Rat Race, Shaun Of The Dead, Jackass 1 & 2, The Shawshank Redemption, Napoleon Dynamite, The Longest Yard, Borat, Hot Fuzz
- Coolest things in the world
- Meeting Billy Connolly, Ross Noble, Magnets, cats tails, the Dutch, explosives, music festivals, mind-altering substances, nipples, fire, Jaffa cakes, noodles, DC Shoes, The Bru, Bill's Doo, Rockets that explode 2 feet off the ground, Laser Quest, Bowling, Subway Sandwiches, My Wifesy's Shoulder Boulders, Remote control helicopters, Tesco Chocolate Cookies, Grenade Drinks, Sunny Picnics, Long Hair, Sex Jokes In The Cinema, Beer Minstrels
- Achievements
- Scottish Grenade Drinking Champion.
Survived A 'Mack Attack'.
Received the bronze badge for donating 10 pints of blood.
Donated 3 pints of blood in a year for 3 years in a row
Became Jeremy Clarkson X4
Wrote 5 songs in the space of a month.
Wrote 7 songs in the space of 6 weeks.
Cycled continously for 40 miles.
Cycled 500 miles in 3 months.
Cycled 800 miles.
Reached 38.1 mph on a bicycle
Walked 19.5 miles in a single day
Made at least 3 people appreciate the value of wearing shorts.
Officially declared a man whore after receiving the 'Man-Whore Crown' from Gordon.
Spent 5 minutes as a sexy transvestite.
Officialy made enzymes sexy.
Actually won some money from an ITbox machine.
Reached 13000 Bebo profile views.
Received 300 Bebo Love.
Ice Skated Twice
Drank 88% Alcohol - What Really Pisses Me Off
- Computers not obeying me, People who ask if the bus has arrived at a bus stop while you are obviously still waiting for it, Bouncers, being barred from a club for no apparent reason, People who will get off their lazy arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they can't be bothered to change the channel manually, People who speak out loud on their mobiles as they pass you in the streets, when someone says that any item is 'Less than £200', when it costs £199.99, Reality TV, people who are made famous because of Reality TV, small whiny children, hangovers, People who stand still in front of you on escalators when you are in a hurry, Politicians, TV Soaps, seeing the phrase 'Terms & Conditions Apply' in small print at the bottom of every single TV advert, People who go to confession, Dance music, People who hate every single photo that is taken of them, Religious fanatics.
- Bands I've Seen
- AC/DC, The Offspring, Incubus, Metallica, Disturbed, Kiss, Deftones, Motorhead, Zebrahead, George Thorogood And The Destroyers, Rufio, Korn, Tool, Glamour Of The Kill, Bullets And Octane, Black Stone Cherry, The Answer, Lost Prophets, Down Apocolyptica, Animal Alpha, Within Temptation, Stone Sour, Slipknot, Staind, Papa Roach, Def Leppard, Limp Bizkit Funeral For A Friend, Alexisonfire, Faith No More, Guns 'N' Roses, Velvet Revolver, Biff Clyro, Rise Against, Throwdown, Rival Schools, Sons Of Albion, Dredg, ZZ Top, Journey, Whitesnake, Jimmy Eat World, Bullet For My Valentine, Iron Maiden, Linkin Park
- Quote Of The Moment
- I I died today I'd be so pissed off" Alan Sproule
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- The Almighty Quote Quiz Part 2 10 Taken
- The Almighty Quote Quiz! 8 Taken
- Lost Quiz Part 2. Can You Handle It? 16 Taken
- Get Lost in this quiz about Lost. 28 Taken
- Do You Know Prison Break?! Lets find Out!! 17 Taken
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Do you think my band (Fire Fly) could achieve excellence?
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7 Stages Of Owning An Ipod
STAGE 1: This is the "OH MY GOD IT'S SO SMALL AND SHINY" stage. You marvel at how small and shiny it is, stealing glances whenever you can.
STAGE 2: This is the stage where all your friends say "OH MY GOD IT'S SO SMALL AND SHINY" and you're like, totally over it.
STAGE 3: The iPod has become a permanent part of your body. If you're not showering or communicating with someone who has the authority to fire you, your ipod is blasting in your ears.
STAGE 4: You lose your impossibly small ipod somewhere in your home and nearly have a nervous breakdown. After eventually finding it you seriously consider ingesting it for safekeeping.
STAGE 5: You suffer from permanent hearing damage. This does not deter you from constantly listening to your iPod at high volumes, however.
STAGE 6: A smaller, fancier ipod is created and yours is now outdated and crappy. It is no longer awesome, it’s awful. Just awful.
STAGE 7: You upgrade and buy the newer ipod. You are now poor, and forced to live off cardboard and stray animals to survive.
0 Comments 299 days
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Life
The key to success is to find something you enjoy doing and get someone else to pay for you doing it.
A good friend will bail you out of Jail. A Great friend will in the next cell saying 'Damn, that was fun!'
Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-o to a tree.
If you think that no one else in the world cares about you, miss a few cars bills.
Dogs CANNOT be trusted to look after your food
You can't hide a stick of broccoli in a glass of milk0 Comments 1122 days
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Jack And Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana. Jack got high and dropped his fly and said jill do you wanna? Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forget her pill and now they have a son.1 Comment 1183 days
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4 weeks ago
David A J Folland
cool man, so how was al murray then? so what you doin with your self these day, you still in edinburgh? ive just been working away, my life plans just been changed a few months ago so am makin a new one lol download 08 still to long haha take care bro ;-)
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David A J Folland5 weeks agodude wayne kelso is a beautiful brittsh name lol hows it goin mate ? ;-P
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7 weeks ago
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10 weeks ago
Amy O'Donnell
Hi wayne, how you doin? i actually haven't seen u in about 3 years, i miss u loads. i'm just startin 4th year as well, i'm so gutted, i dont want the summer to end. not been up to much, back stayin in glasgow now, the commute kills me though. where do u stay now? xxxx
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The Hive10 weeks agoSurprise! Thursdays have gone a bit bangers & mashed - our new student night starts Sep with The Cut Up Boys (Ministry of Sound) & Silent Headphone Disco booked for October. Details on our profile.
Back to September - free for all students September 10th & 17th... feck freshers week, let\'s have a freshers month! 1.50 drinks. Bargain? Room 1: Electro/R&B/Chart. Room2: Embarassing Cheese/Eighties/Classic Rock&Retro Hits. Bangin\'?
September 24th is Freshers Frisky Frat Party - neon traffic light party badges, numbered to get you flirting with some fine folks. Each Uni/College representing by wearing a different coloured shirt. Mix, mingle make love and listen to the music. Free entry for all those neon-ed up in their uni/college colours.
Check the sexy beasts we call regulars & sign up for details at clubhive.co.uk - guestlisters wanted!
As ever.. Fridays remains Misfits: Twisted alt. disco of indie/electro/pop/rock. 1.50 drinks.
2009-09-11 01:07:54 -
Sean Millard11 weeks agowas speaking to pids yesterday, how about the zoo next thursday? yet to get hold of the rest, i have friends from germany so hopefully they might come too? the whoreslut misses edinburgh and all his bitches!x
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Sean Millard11 weeks agokelso ye slag when ye back in edinburgh? ye game for some completely innocent drinking games?x
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Sean Millard12 weeks agowell my bearded lady friend i have been working my wee cohones off in the north sea all summer, tis shite but got me plenty spanish dubloons to spend on my next expedition!when ye back in the burgh? im home on wed, duno if i will be thru then but shud really move things into my flat!will give ye guys a text when im home hopefully we can get a night out sorted?x
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12 weeks ago
via Mobile
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David Lynch13 weeks agoHey dude think ill be moving in round about the same time or a bit earlier hows things have u still not found your phone?
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Sean Millard15 weeks agohows my favourite manwhore? hows your summer been bro? when ye back in auld reekie?x
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David Lynch16 weeks agoHey dude hows u hows your week been? have u found your phone yet? u been up to much?
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17 weeks ago
Wild Bill
have some luv dude not seen ya in a while hope your having a good hol and the arm is a bit better adios x
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20 weeks ago via Mobile
Carla
3rd year?! bloody hell that is scary! not been upta much really. download was awesome like! had a great time, spent 2 much money tho! x x x
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Ben Little20 weeks agoMy exams went fairly well also, thankfully. Things have been good though rather busy at the end of term, I had 8 exams in total in May... was not so fun, but made it through I guess.
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Ben Little21 weeks agoI assume by your lack of response to my text that you have indeed finally got a new phone at some point - which is a good thing I suppose considering how old your last one was. Are you still hanging around in Edinburgh, or have you gone home for the holidays?
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22 weeks ago
Christine Mackay
it was actually an american woman in a church crypt telling it to her kids about a mask thing. was blooming hilarious. how was download? bill sends love and acdc tickets are here xxx
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22 weeks ago
Lindsay J
This is really seroius question. Think back do you remember the day of the med micro exam i went on a computer and started musing and come over and showed me a peice of paper that had common questions for med micro - where did you find that its essential that i know please,
your failthfully jimxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Danielle Jane22 weeks agoP.S get fucking facebook ! TODAY !
then add me
search - Danielle Jane Mizielska -
22 weeks ago
Danielle Jane
misss youuu tooooooooooooo lighter mannnnn !!!
i wana be back at download so badly !!!!
:'( !
its very upsetting !
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*we'll meet again , don't know where? don't know when ? but i know we'll meet again some sunny day "
























TWN - providing a sense of hilarity in your community since 1864
Stuart 0 Replysneed i say more lol
Christine Mackay 0 Replysso hahahahahahahahahah!
Christine Mackay 0 Replys