Claire Williams

Can't wait for my Breaking Dawn and War of the Worlds books to arrive! :)

7 weeks ago | me too! | Reply

Claire Williams
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  • Female, 19, Luv 461
  • from thurso
  • In a Relationship
  • Profile views: 5,616
  • Member since: April 2007
  • Last active: 2 days ago
  • www.bebo.com/_Fawkes

About Me

Tagline
Get Down, Make Love.
Me, Myself, and I
Hi :) I'm Claire from the bakery.

That's me and my gemma, I'm her sidekick :)

There are a few people in this world i love unconditionally, and unfortunately for me one of them moved away :( Gemma i miss you like crazy and love you so much. It's just not the same.
Another is Ben :) He's all mine and I'm all his, fair deal i'de say :)
Another is Jeddy, while she might not be a person, she is a gerbil. But i might aswell have given birth to her cus that's how much i love her. Unfortunately she is a little old lady and is coming to be 2 in April. Sad times.
The Other Half Of Me
Gemma Askew

Gemma Askew

Heratio in the making :)

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    • And then i refreshed....

      A Cage In Time

      On a slidy and surreal morning, Claire sat on a bench. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her lips ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Gemma to love someone with a rusty thigh?

      Knowingly, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a brown imaginary rock, all on a summer's day. I wish my Gemma would piss on me, in her own jewish way..."

      "Do you?" Gemma sat down beside Claire and put her hand on Claire's knees. "I think that could be arranged."

      Claire gasped quickly. "But what about my rusty thigh?"

      "I like it," Gemma said aggressively. "I think it's sticky."

      They came together and their kiss was like a santa claus getting raped.

      "I love you," Claire said softly.

      "I love you too," Gemma replied and pissed on her.

      They bought a gerbil, moved in together, and lived painfully ever after.

      0 Comments 415 days

    • Um yeah i gave this thing some words and this is what i got

      Softly Tripping

      Claire tripped along quickly. She was on her way to meet her lover, Gemma, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a gerbil hopping along, carrying a rock in its mouth.

      Claire was almost on a bench when she came across a surreal cake, lying alone on a jewish plate. "That must be a treat from my bold bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked imaginary, so she ate it.

      It gave her the most brown tingling sensation in her knees. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Gemma.

      When Gemma came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.

      "What is it?" Claire cried painfully.

      "Your thigh! And your lips!" Gemma said. "They're slidy! Can't you feel it?"

      Claire felt her thigh and her lips. They were indeed quite slidy. "Oh, no!" Claire said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that surreal cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

      "I didn't leave you any cake," Gemma said. "I got you a cage. It must have been that sticky man who lives nearby. He acts a little knowingly, ever since he pissed on a guitar."

      "But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Claire sobbed.

      "Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Gemma said aggressively, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your thigh is really rusty like that."

      "Really?" Claire dried his tears. Claire kissed Gemma and it was an entirely tiny sensation, like a santa claus getting raped.

      They spent the night having entirely tiny sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

      Everything was rather awkward after that.

      0 Comments 415 days

    • Another lame tesco joke :)

      A man goes in to Tesco for a sandwich one day to find his wife with
      another man walking around doing some shopping. He leaves and goes
      back to work enraged at what he saw. He decides not confront his wife
      but to keep going back to Tesco to see if this is a regular thing. To
      his dismay he finds that it is, and that it happens every Friday
      lunchtime. The man keeps quiet for a couple of months going to Tesco
      every Friday lunchtime in order to follow the unknown man and his wife
      around the shop.

      The man can take no more and begins drinking in his local every chance
      he gets. One evening he is telling a man at the bar about his dilemma
      and asks him what he should do. The man replies that he knows someone
      who would do them both over and will arrange a meeting if he wants. A
      meeting is arranged for the following evening in the pub.

      The man is introduced to a huge bloke called Arti. He tells him the
      story and Arti says that he will do them over together in Tesco. The
      man asks about a fee and Arti tells him that he loves to kill people
      and will accept a token fee of a pound. The deal is done and the place
      is set to Tesco on Friday lunchtime.

      Arti awaits their arrival and follows them around the shop for a while
      and then pounces on them, strangling them both with his bare hands. As
      Arti runs out of the shop two security guards tackle him to the ground
      and wait for the police. He is caught and tried for murder and found
      guilty. The headline in the paper the next day read:

      ARTI CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO

      7 Comments 463 days

    close The Longest Completely Random Survey Ever!

    1.What DVD is in your DVD player right now?
    Hook :D

    2.If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
    No chance o.o

    3.Do you look more like your mum or your dad?
    Dad, unfort.

    4.Is that your natural hair color?
    Kiiiinda >.>

    5.How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
    Umm bout 12 :O

    6.Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
    Indeed she is.

    7.Do you have a crush on anyone?
    A major crush.. yuss :)

    8.How long have you known them and do they know you like them?
    Nearly 2 years and he better do!!

    9.Can you lick your elbow?
    *attempts* ... No :(

    10.If you jumped out your bedroom window right now, how injured would you get?
    Not atall..

    11.If you woke up as the opposite sex, what’s the 1st thing you would do?
    Touch my willy :D

    12.Do you wear fake tan?
    Occasionally

    13.Do you like sneezing, or do you hate that feeling?
    I LOVE sneezing! Not only is it a 10th of an orgasm but i love hearing dif peoples sneezes.. Especially Doreens :D:D

    14.What is your favourite room in your house?
    Bathroom

    15.What was the last thing you had to drink?
    Cuppa teaaa

    16.Do fish make good pets?
    Defo!

    17.Would you rather have a pet Ostrich or a pet Sheep?
    Sheep please!

    18.Has an animal ever attacked you?
    Yeah, mother lovers!

    19.What kind of mobile phone do you own?
    A shite one!

    20.Whats the biggest amount of mobile phone credit/phone bill you've had in a month?
    probs 50 squid...

    21.Who’s car were you last in that wasn’t family?
    My benjys

    22.Are they a good driver in your opinion?
    Absolutely!

    23.When’ s the last time you showered
    This afternoon :)

    24.If you didnt shower for 3 days do you think you would smell?
    I would die o.o

    25.Do you sleep in a single or double bed?
    Single at home, double at bens :)

    26.Do you make your bed daily?
    Nope (Y)

    27.How many clothes do you have in your closet?
    I don't have a closet :(

    28.Where’d you get the top you’re wearing?
    Newlook

    29.How many windows/tabs do you have open on your computer right now?
    6

    30.Do you ever crack your knuckles/fingers?
    Cruck my knackles?

    31.When was the last time you laughed really hard?
    This afternoon in the car with my benjy

    32.Do you take compliments well?
    Um not really i dont think..

    33.Do you find piercings attractive?
    Aye

    34.Would you rather be able to fly for a day or be invisible for a day?
    Um fly i think

    35.Do you personally know the people on your top friends list?
    I do yep

    36.Where does number one live?
    Glasgow :( Too far from me!

    37.Would you date them?
    Every day ;)

    38.Who kissed you on the forehead last?
    Beeeen! I want one now :(

    39.What color of socks do you have on?
    I don't.. I have tights

    40.Do you have any interesting bruises or scars?
    I have a few cool scars, im a harry potter wanna be

    41.How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
    um bout an hour and a half

    42.Have you bought anything today?
    yeah, some lunch some dinner and pair of trousers!

    43.Ever dated someone you didn't find attractive in the least?
    Nope

    44.Where’s the closest hoodie to you right now?
    Infront of me

    45.Morning or night person? Or Afternoon?
    All :)

    46.Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
    Yeah :)

    47.What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever licked?
    Your face O.O

    48.How many pics of just you do you have?
    Too many lol!

    49.What fast food restaurant do you think has the Best French Fries?
    The Biske Bar :)

    50.Would you prefer Irn Bru or Vimpto?
    Vimpto!

    51.When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
    Shite! Left my make up on ¬ ¬

    52.Have you ever had a “kick me” sign on your back without realizing it?
    Hahaha i hope not!

    53.Lap top or pc?
    Lap top!

    54.What color is your keyboard?
    Black

    55.Who is your internet provider and who pays for it?
    Bt, all of us :)

    56.Have you ever sat down in a chair but fell to the floor, only to find that someone pulled out your chair on purpose?
    Yeah :(

    57.Do things like that still amuse you when they happen to other people?
    Laffo! Of course!

    58.Did you know that twinkle twinkle little star and the alphabet have the same rhyme?
    Nope

    59.Did you just sing them to make sure?
    Hahahaha yeah!

    60.Are you a secretive person, or are you open with your thoughts?
    Open like a book :)

    61.If you had to, would you rather eat maggots or worms?
    Um maggots i think

    62.Have you seen a sunflower in real life before?
    Yep, they are prettyful

    63.Have you ever used eye lash curlers?
    Yep

    64.Do you text or call more?
    text

    65.Do you find Russell Brand funny or irritating?
    Bit of both sometimes but more irritating!

    66.Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
    If its for the right guy then yes!!

    67.What item that needs batteries is nearest to you?
    Lap top?

    68.Who was the last person you slow danced with?
    Ben <3

    69.Have you ever taken a picture of your eye?
    Hahha too many times, think it might be an addiction

    70.Do you actually believe that Alaska is covered in snow?
    Never really thought about it

    71.Do you prefer peppermint or spearmint?
    Spearmint!

    72.What is the most amount of money you would spend on a pillow?
    £50

    73.If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
    Yellooooooow

    74.How many tv's in your house?
    3

    75.Type your name using only your elbow
    Cba :|

    76.Do you ever go a few days without changing your underwear?
    NO!

    77.Are you ever purposely irritating?
    ... YEAH :D

    78.If you were another person would you be friends with you?
    Probs yeah :) Itd be awesome!

    79.Do you still have your tonsils and your appendix?
    I do :D

    80.Favourite sports to watch?
    Tennis and darts :D

    81.Can you play Poker?
    Nope :(

    82.Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
    Not really, but it has been known to happen.

    83.Have you ever touched an Elephant?
    No :(

    84.Have you had a Birthday so far this year?
    Yeah

    85.Do you like to have ice in your drinks?
    Yep

    86.Have you ever used a metal detector to look for treasure?
    I have!!!

    87.Do you prefer Lemons or Limes?
    Limes

    88.Do you prefer trampolines or bouncy castles?
    Bouncy castles

    89.Have you ever crawled through a window?
    I have

    90.Did your parents spoil you as a child?
    I guess she did

    91.Look behind you, what do you see?
    An ugly sister ><

    92.Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
    Yeaah :L

    93.Do you prefer beef, pork, or lamb?
    Beef

    94.Are you an aunt/uncle?
    Aunt :D:D:D:D:D

    95.Do you know all the words to your national anthem?
    Not atall

    96.What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
    Yummmmmeh

    97.Do you still watch kiddie films and tv shows?
    I do yes

    98.If you were walkin down the street and someone sprayed you with water what would you do?
    Freak the fuck out!

    99.Have you ever broken a bone?
    Not yet :)

    100.How many times have you moved house?
    Too many!

    101.If you could make someone disappear who would it be?
    My favourite person...

    102.Curtains or blinds?
    Blinds

    103.Can you cook a Sunday Roast?
    Nopes

    104.Have you watched 'the cunt family' on youtube?
    Hahaha no but now im gunna!!

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    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      woooooooooooooo
      i friggin love the love!!:DD
      watchin children in need!!:DD
      hope you have a nice night in inver!!:D

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      3 days ago
    • Laura Mackay
      Laura Mackay

      Ha! Thats totally NOT wasted on me! Im jealous! Why o why does it have to be inverness! :(
      Im hoping i'll use xmas shopping as an excuse for some drooling in the cinema soon!
      Hope you have a nice time, sounds good!

      Glad to hear its all good! Yeah im the same really nothing too bad right now. Not going out as much obv, but its been a bonus for my purse! hahah! :)

      xxxxx

      3 days ago
    • Laura Mackay
      luv Laura Mackay

      Aw thank you Clairey! :)
      I hope so!
      Hows things with you?

      xxxxxxx

      4 days ago
    • Louisa Body
      luv Louisa Body

      hey sexy lady, how was the weekend away, did gemma have a good birthday???

      2 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      here is my first choice of dress

      http://www.newlook.co.uk/1808080/180...

      then this one

      http://www.newlook.co.uk/1815641/181...

      4 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      its the funniest thing around aint it haha i loved watchin their reaction lol

      i sooooooooooooooooooooooo cant friggin wait:DD

      love yoo

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      4 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      hahahaha i showed ali n meg a certain video of a man and a jar and ali put their reaction on youtube haha

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRW_f...

      then this is my cousin andrew watchin it hahaha

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIEUW...

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      4 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      still nothin back!!

      im gettin nervous you!!

      oh by the way











      10 days till my bday:DD

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       x

      4 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      <---------------- go on press my face and read my wee comment about my other half:DD xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      5 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      hahahah darren defendin his car :L :L :L :L
      guess wat.........newton faulkner came on at work today, you kno the ' dreeeam catch me when i fall one' and who did i think of? thats bloody right! him below!! i miss our days......i miss you......i want you here right now! now!!!!! now!!! your supposed to be here!!! move down tomorro, im here, i'll get you a job, sumwher to stay, pweese?

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      5 weeks ago
    • Darren Bruce
      Darren Bruce

      its stunning and its green on the logbook not silver

      6 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      Gemma Askew

      try it and i shall beat you hahaha, im tryin till beat sonja just now, then connor then the bejewled demon cat keiron!!!:O over 100,000..........how??:L :L :L

      awww kings of leon!:( thats makes me sad i miss you!!

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      7 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      Gemma Askew

      hahahaha oh i see, yeh it was a very good night that night lol the nights i would come home, and be like oh im on the couch with....... and then the other one hahahaha wat a slut haha

      i loved those nights, wat else did we used till laugh about...........oh my god........ach ach ach ach......you like that......thats my technique hahahahahaha

      nothin, playin bejeweled on facebook, bet your high score by the way!!!!:DD

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      7 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      Gemma Askew

      wat was it? tell me! no matter how embaressin considerin you have put my gas movements on bebo hahaha

      oh we must do indeed, it will surely be here, and we shall go see it!!:DD

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      7 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      Gemma Askew

      i love twitter, i dont say anythin but i readt wat all the celebs say!!:DD

      my fartin!! you were worse missus!! dont try n say 'i dont fart' cos yeh you do!!:L :L :L :L

      i kno i miss our random wee chats, stayin up till like 3am talkin and laughin so hard!!:DD

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      7 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      Gemma Askew

      hahaha your in my bed!!:DD

      missin you like loopy poopy hahaha doesnt really work eh??

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      7 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      hello:DD

      yeh bet you cant wait till move till glasgow!! hahahahaha

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      7 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      wats on today sugar munchkin???:DD

      miss you

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      7 weeks ago
    • Sarah Glen
      Sarah Glen

      hey howz u wat u bn up 2? i havnt bn on here in ages so just thot i would leave a lil msg!!!!!!!!!

      i dont hav love left bt heres HUGS lol

      xxx

      7 weeks ago
    • Gemma Askew
      luv Gemma Askew

      i just cried! thanks to you and your tear makin power in that little speech up ther missy!!!!:L :L :L

      i miss you soooooooo much, cant wait for bday:DD get till see you and get drunk!!

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      7 weeks ago