Ste Wade once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Ste Wade can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Ste Wade can piss his name into concrete.

Ste Wade doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Ste Wade's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Ste Wade's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Ste Wade.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Ste Wade's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Ste Wade puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Ste Wade once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Ste Wade owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Ste Wade can delete the Recycling Bin.

Ste Wade can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

On a Secondary school maths test, Ste Wade put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A on the test because Ste Wade solves all his problems with Violence.

If you spell Ste Wade wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Ste Wade?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Once a cobra bit Ste Wade's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Ste Wade died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Ste Wade runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

Ste Wade was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37
seconds.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Ste Wade says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Giraffes were created when Ste Wade uppercutted a horse.

Ste Wade does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Ste Wade goes killing.

When Ste Wade gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Ste Wade's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Ste Wade will not take shit from anyone.

Ste Wade was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Ste Wade can play the violin with a piano.

Ste Wade doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Ste Wade banging your sister.

Death once had a near-Ste-Wade experience.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Ste Wade's' PC will crash.

Ste Wade can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Ste Wade is always on top during sex because Ste Wade never fucks up.

Ste Wade doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Ste Wade eats the core of an apple first.

Ste Wade was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Ste Wade does not "attempt" murder.

Ste Wade has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Ste Wade never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Ste Wade can touch this.

When Ste Wade looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Sre Wade and Ste Wade.

Ste Wade once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Ste Wade is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Ste Wade.

The only time Ste Wade was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Ste Wade can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Jac

A fierce pile of bog :
A sizable quantity of bog

G'wan ta fuck autt a dat:
Please go away

A Thundering fuck :
An unreliable person

A shlap in the face of a brick:
To be struck square in the face with a brick

A soft day :
Miserable fucking weather

Hardy man :
Someone who can survive waking up buck naked in
filthy ditch water on January the first after a year long drinking session

Machine :
General purpose term used to refer to any man made implement more advanced than a pitch fork

Hang sangwedge :
Salty ham surrounded by two slices stale bread. A buffer of cheap margarine, preferably Blue-Band (half inch thick) must separate the ham from the bread. A top class hang sangwige
will of course contain a sprinkling of sand.

A paka ha tayho :
A bag of crisps

Finches, ave'u the :
Have you the Finches orange soda

Girleen:
Any girl an older man would like to get his leg over.

Land Rover :
Usually a ford escort van that has seen better days.

Mighty :
Indicative of something being very good>

Craic :
fun, as in Mighty Craic or The Craic was Mighty

Locked :
very drunk

After a few shcoops :
reasonably drunk

Flahed :
a state of extreme exhaution, usually brought on by
consecutive locked nights

Fien :
Man whose name is unknown, or unremembered at ! the present time.

Fine piece of shtuff :
used to describe a person considered attractive.

Bollox :
multiple uses, generally derogatory

Cunt of a ting :
Something very difficult to do or use.

jibin:
make fun of someone.

Jaysus :
An expression of surprise.

Be Jaysus :
An expression of sheer surprise.

Fukdat :
An expression of mild displeasure

Yoke :
Just about anything whose proper Description doesn't spring to mind

Fierce :
It is, yes.

alp:
person who is good for nothing.

Eeegit :
Somebody less intelligent than oneself. i.e. a
complete fool altogether

A cute Hoor :
Somebody more intelligent than oneself. i.e. not a
complete fool altogether. In some situations this may refer to a person's ability to weasal out of buying their round of drinks, particularlary in Co Cork, as in "Ye Cute Cork Hoor".

A tight Kunt:
Similar to "A cute Hoor" and again has very little to do with the fairer sex except in perhaps her inability to fork out for her share of the booze.

Gobshite:
Someone very high in the "Eeegit" stakes but will
generally be a tourist or perhaps from Dublin.

Yoke-m-abus :
Any form of motorised transport

An onmercifull fe-ad :
A very large Sunday dinner partaken after several
pints of Guinness

1. Whats your Name?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Would u kiss me?
6. would u fuk me?
7. Describe me in 3 words?
8. If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?
9. What was ur first impression of me?
10. Do u still think the same?
11.. What reminds u of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do u know me?
14. What do u like best about me?
15. Ever wanted 2 tell me something u could'nt?
16. Could you ever love me?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why?
18.R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?
19.Anything 2 say b4 u go?