In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods that can be found today being sold in stores nationwide:

1. On Sears hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping."

(But..., that's the only time I have to work on my hair)



2. On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how. . . ?)



3. On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestions: Defrost."

(But it's "just" a suggestion)



4. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

"Do not turn upside down."

(Oops, too late!)



5. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(Hmm . . . .)



6. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save even more time?)



7. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this

medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents

if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those

forklifts.)



8. On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(One would hope)



9. On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to underwater?)



10. On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)



11. On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

(NEWS FLASH)



12. On a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)



13. On a Swedish chain saw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? . . . Good grief!)



14. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:

"Do not use on food."

(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's OK, honey, just grab the Palmolive!

I knew a person that was so stupid that.......

she called me to get my phone number.

she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said

"concentrate."


she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.


she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.


she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.


she tried to drown a fish.


she thought a quarterback was a refund.


she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

she tripped over a cordless phone.

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.


she studied for a blood test.


she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.


when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.


when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.


when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Only in Ireland... Can a pizza get to your house faster than
an ambulance

Only in Ireland... Do banks leave both doors open and chain
the pens to
the counters.

142 Irish were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from
new shirts.

58 Irish are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.

13 Irish have died since 1996 by wateringtheir Christmas
tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.

Irish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after
cracker pulling
accidents

101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of
plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Irish had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Irish were admitted to A&E in the last two
years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Irish were injured last year in accidents involving out of
Control Scalextric cars.

AND finally......... In 2000, 8 Irish cracked their skull
whilst throwing up into the toilet!