Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to >>feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager

♥╔╦╦╦═╦╗╔═╦═╦══╦═╗♥
♥║║║║╩╣╚╣═╣║║║║║╩╣♥
♥╚══╩═╩═╩═╩═╩╩╩╩═╝♥

LoAdInG...
██ 14% *sHy*
███ 49% *bAbAlIcIoUs*
████ 76% *sExY*
█████ 89% *HyPeR*
██████ 100% *NaUgHtY*

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.. and for some
reason, that's ok.

2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling
our butts while yelling "WOO-HOO" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and
honestly believe we could do it too.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like
a homeless hooker than the goddess we started out as just 4 hours ago.

5. We drop our 3am fast-food snack on the
floor, pick it up and continue eating it like its nobody's
business.

6.We start crying and declare to everyone we see, including
people we barely know, that we love them SOOOO MUCH.

7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new
song comes on because "OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. Our eyes just won't seem to stay open by themselves, so we keep them half closed and think it looks incredibly sexy.

9. We've suddenly taken up smoking and we believe we're really good at it

10. We yell at the bartender who we believe has cheated us by
giving us just orange juice, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka.

11. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like
the floor..

12. We start every conversation with a slurred "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

13. We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down before we sit on it.

14. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

15. We are tired, but we are troopers so instead of going home,
we just sit on the floor wherever we are standing and take a
quick nap.

16. We take our shoes off because a) they're ridiculously
impractical.. but soo beautiful! b) We believe it's the shoes'
fault that we can't walk straight.

17. We feel oddly comfortable sitting on the toilet peeing while having a full blown conversation with each other.

18. No matter what got broken, thrown up on, stolen, no matter
who said what or who went home with whoever else - we ALWAYS call
each other the next day.

.,¡i|¹i¡¡i¹|i¡,.
`"¹li¡|¡|¡il¹"` mwah!! xxx

Mise me fein
Name: Karen Shortt
Birthdate: 19th May
Birthplace: Limerick
Current Location: Sydney Australia
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown
Height: Dun really know... 5 foot sumtin
Piercings: 3
Tatoos: Not yet, id love one but im really scared of needles!!
Boyfriend: Nope
Overused Phrase: Savage!!

FAVORITES
Food: Italian, and lamb vindaloo
Sweets: Galaxy Caramel yum!
Number: 21
Color: Pink, purple, sea green and blue... love m all!!
Animal: My beautiful collie Jed oh and my nephew Ben!!
Drink: Still Ballygowan / Flat White
Alcohol Drink: Carmen White Wine Sauvignon Blanc, Vodka and fresh Lemons and Limes
Letter: Ive got 2: K & S
Body Part on Opposite sex: Once they have a nice smile and come to bed eyes.. im game!!

This or That
Pepsi or Coke: Coke but its gotta be Diet!
McDonalds or BurgerKing: da da da da da im lovin it...
Strawberry or Watermelon: 100% Strawberry
Hot tea or Ice tea: Hot Tea but from a Teapot!
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate especially Galaxy chocolate.. yum!!
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: i love both, hot chocolate if made with milk and fresh coffee Americano style... instant tastes horrible!
Kiss or Hug: Definately a big sweezey hug, love a nice kisser 2 tho!
Dog or Cat: Definately Dogs
Summer or Winter: Winter when its just fresh, cold and snowing and the sun is shining, not when its windy and rainy... unless im warm cozy and all snug in bed listening to it belting off the window outside! Summer when its hot hot hot, the sun is shining, and im not working!
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Funny movies
Love or Money: Love...

YOUR...
Bedtime: Whenever im exhausted!
Most Missed Memory: Theres so many! i suppose miss having a laugh with my friends and super sundays in ennis!
First Thought Waking Up: I wonder what ill do today then...
Goal for this year: Travel.. & to do & c as much of the world as i can!
Best Friends: Gemma, Damien, Aishling, Sinead, Joy, Fiona, Orlaith, Mum & Dad
Weakness: Super Sundays
Fears: settling down, having babies, getting old

HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: Now and Again
Ever Smoked: Ya
Pot: hmmm... Of course!
Ever been Drunk: Cant Remember!!
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Ya

IN A GUY
Favorite Eye Color: Brown, blue or Green... Any as long as they're sexy eyes!!
Favorite Hair Color: Dark or blonde
Short or Long: Short, but dont mind longish surfish look as long as its not 2 long
Height: Taller than me...
Looks or Personality: Both
Hot or Cute: Both
Drugs or Alcohol: Alcohol
Muscular or Really Skinny: Muscular
Number of Regrets in the Past: 2

YOU
What country do you want to Visit: New Zealand
How do you want to Die: Painlessly surrounded by people who love me and happy with the way my life has turned out
Get along with your Parents: Love them both to bits
Health Freak: At times...
Been in Love: Yes
Do you Sing: Da question is do i ever shut up... Ride on, I know him so well, the red rose cafe, from this moment, she moves through the fair, last christmas.. the list goes on..
Want to get Married: Not at the moment, but maybe in the future if i meet the right person
Do you want Children: as above
Have your future kids names planned out: Not a hope, got my future dog's names planned out tho!! ha ha
Dislike anyone: No


_./'\._¸¸.•¤**¤•.¸.•¤**¤•..•¤ **¤ •.¸.•¤**¤•..
*•. .•* * YA PAGE HAS OFFICALLY BEEN PIMPED
/.•*•.\ •¤**¤..