ALEX FERGUSON

Alex Ferguson's red and white army [clap, clap, clap]
Alex Ferguson's red and white army [clap, clap, clap]...

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Fergie, Give Us A Song

Fergie, give us a song,
Fergie, Fergie, give us a song...

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Fergie, Give Us A Wave

Fergie, give us a wave,
Fergie, Fergie, give us a wave...

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Stand Up If You Love Fergie!

Stand Up, if you love Fergie,
Stand Up, if you love Fergie...

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Every Single One Of Us Loves Alex Ferguson!

Oh, every single one of us,
Loves Alex Ferguson,
Loves Alex Ferguson,
Loves Alex Ferguson...

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Every Single One Of Us Loves Cathy Ferguson!

Oh, every single one of us,
Loves Cathy Ferguson,
Loves Cathy Ferguson,
Loves Cathy Ferguson... (this was sang when Sir Alex's wife talked him out of retirement!)

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Happy Birthday Sir Alex...

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Sir Alex,
Happy Birthday to you!


EDWIN VAN DER SAR

"ooh aah Van Der Sar!"

GARY NEVILLE

Gary Neville Is A Red (to the tune of 'London Bridge Is Falling Down')

Gary Neville is a red, is a red, is a red,
Gary Neville is a red...
He hates Scousers!

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Tracey Neville's Off Her Head (to the tune of 'London Bridge Is Falling Down')

Tracey Neville's off her head, off her head, off her head,
Tracey Neville's off her head,
She plays netball!

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Neville Neville Is Their Dad (to the tune of 'London Bridge Is Falling Down')

Neville Neville is their dad, is their dad, is their dad,
Neville Neville is their dad,
He hates Scousers!

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One Gary Neville
One Gary Neville -
There's only one Gary Neville,
One Gary Nev-ille -
There's only one Gary Nev-ille!

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Neville Neville (to the tune of 'Rebel, Rebel' by David Bowie)

Neville Neville, Your future's immense,
Neville Neville, You play in defence,
Neville Neville, Like Jacko you're bad,
Neville Neville, Is the name of your dad!


PATRICE EVRA

Ev-ra,wherever you may be,
You eat frogs in your country,
It could be worse,you could be scouse,
Eating rats in your council house


THE DA SILVA TWINS

Viva Da Silva,Viva Da Silva,
Runnin' Down The Pitch,
Don't Know Which Is Which,
Viva Da Silva


OWEN HARGREAVES

Owen Hargreaves Is Won-der-ful

Owen Hargreaves Is Won-der-ful
Owen Hargreaves Is won-der-ful!
Owen Hargreaves Is won-der-ful,
He plays with Giggs, Anderson and Nani
Owen Hargreaves Is won-der-ful!


Oh Owen Hargreaves,You Are The Love Of My Life,
Oh Owen Hargreaves,I'd Let You Shag My Wife,
Oh Owen Hargreaves,I Want Curly Hair Too!

RIO FERDINAND

Ri-o

Ri-o!
Ri-o!

WESLEY BROWN

We've Got Wesley Brown!

We've got Wesley Brown,
We've got Wesley Brown.
We've got Wesley, we've got Wesley...
We've got Wesley Brown!


ANDERSON

Anderson-son-son
He's better than Kleberson.
Anderson-son-son
He's our midfield magician.
To the left, to the right,
To the samba beat tonight,
He is class with a brass
And he shits on Fabregas!

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Anderson

An-der-son
An-der-son



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There's a place we know where Scousers go
and it's always lots of fun
you can have a laugh at many things
if you're ready with a gun

You can mock the dead of Munich
be glad that George Best's dead
you can sing a dozen funny songs
of Duncan Edward's head

You can hope that Gary Neville
gets cancer and he dies
throw ammonia at Whiteside
and hope it blinds his eyes

You can even stone an ambulance
where Alan Smith is lying
even if it doesn't overturn
it's bound to be fun trying

You can talk of many pleasant things
with your like-minded mates
but you'll pause to show such reverence
as you pass the Shankly Gates

Where every single Scouser
who ever passed away
must be honoured and respected
have their own special day

Cos Scousers are a special breed
their hearts upon their sleeve
they ask the country to join in
and watch them as they grieve

They celebrate and they respect
each Scouser who departs
they ask that we can shed their tears
and nurse their broken hearts

Yet mention dead of anyone
who doesn't fit their own
they laugh out loud there is no shred
of honour ever shown

They laugh at young men dying
on runways filled with ice
and celebrate that Munich day
and never would think twice

Of mocking Harold Shipman's dead
that lived within our city
these wallowers in plastic grief
the masters of self pity

They wave their tin foil silverware
and throw cups filled with shit
to shower on opposing fans
but never will admit

The murder of their very own
their much loved Stanley knives
the night they killed Juventus fans
a tragic waste of lives

It's "justice for the 96"
but never 39
It's grieving for 'poor' Michael Shields
but not for Heysel dying

It's always everybody else
they're not the ones to blame
it was Chelsea, Yorkshire coppers
it's always been the same

We've all shed tears as 96
lay dying on the floor
but our sympathy has long since died
we'll grieve with you no more.

Shite Or A Haircut

To be completely confused, or to explain someone who cannot make up their mind. Also to describe a person or persons (organisation) who are completely disorganised.

"That's the 3rd time this month the council have dug up this road. They don't know if they want a shite or a haircut that lot!"

Alternativey - when observing a poor driver weaving all over the road and / or indicating the wrong way at junctions etc can be described as not knowing wether they want a shite or a haircut.