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Landroveritis is a little known, incurable as yet, disease.
There are various journals that cover the activities and different aspects of this condition.The condition is by and large accepted within rural communities, but there are differing strains that exist in urban environments.
These cases lead on to further complications whereby the victim has to purchase clay and other products which can be manually applied in the absence of a local mud hole.There are locations throughout the UK, where sufferers gather for communal comparison, and these can be viewed by the general public, but it should be noted that it is highly contagious, and best not to attend unless you are prepared to have professional counselling in order not to develop an addiction.
The affliction is not restricted by age or gender, and can strike at any time. It is not thought to be life threatening, but can lead to marital strain through divided attentions.
This can lead to both partners contracting the disease, which in turn, will usually lead to a financial crisis, and loss of social activities other than within ones own 'group'.
Some of the symptoms are an enhanced feeling of well-being by day followed by an unquenchable thirst that sets in as the sun goes over.
Severe cases lead to 'snorkelling' and 'winching' - once you have gone this far, it is too late. But by that time - who gives a s**t !
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A Mexican, an Arab, and a Brit are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer (cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The Brit, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,he says,
'In Britain we have so many ******* illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
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READ THIS, ITS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teena ged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.
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hello my darlin ow the hell r ya ? hope u keepin well xx
Yeah very nice piece of kit remember watching that before just never took note of the name
Bowler wildcat? what is that?
i did but it was cracked within a few hours before i even started the rally waste of 200 quid for that one as i had to get asap
If Ali is working on it then aye it'll be ready
still got to find another windscreen will try overton next week,the felicia is the same screen
whats it going to sound like a tractor? lol. The car is at Ali's house me and Fraser took down Mon night
so it should be cost 270 quid to get it done,still waiting on the 4 branch to come ordered it 3 weeks ago from abroad
Lol this time bout 12 years ago you were knitting for my mum in dads house will never forget that x x
Oh poor you no comment in 2 weeks.
Yeah i'm fine just busy trying to get rally car ready ordered 4 branch exhaust this morn,Ali put the head in to get port and polished
He's in middle of rebuilding engine so all good so far
Manifold gasket started leaking and now the head gasket's on it's way out. Repairs would cost more than the car!
aye was quite good strange to be back back to work 2moro
hey yeah we good thanks he workin all the time lol
so why dont you go an train with stagecoach they put you through it all no cost too you lol
what is it you want to do ?
hey sexy howz life treatin u ?
wot ya been gettin up 2 ? u got a job yet or u just avin fun bein lazy ? lol xxx
hay Darla will be bck online later ive hijackd e laptop, how r u its only been like wat 10 years btw e 1st n only time i met ya is not the norm 4 me feel i could clear tht 1 up lol
cant send private message
moved outa raigmore nearly a year ago. they r all fine. michael got married a few weeks back. xx
am fine urself? av not lived in raigmore for a while now. what u been up2? x
check out the new app on my page i instantly thought of you when i saw it. lol