Miss beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
She was admird for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into the quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As she sat facing her old Hammond organ the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
when she returned with the tean and scone, they began to chat.
The pastor triend to stife his curiosity about the bowl of water andf it's strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
Miss Beatrice, he said, I wonder if you would tell me about this? pointing to the bowl.
Oh yes she replied, Isn't it wonderful? i was walking in through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The dierctions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

I got this from an email I thought might be fun. For the Ladies Only. Sorry Lads.

Question 1.
Which Describes Your Perfect Date?
A. Candlelight Dinner for two?
B. Amusement Park
C. Roller Blading in the Park.
D. Rock Concert
E. Have Dinner & see a movie
F. Dinner at Home with a loved one

Question 2
What is your Favorite type of Music
A. Rock and Roll
B. Alternative
C. Soft Rock
D. Classical
E. Christian
F. Jazz

Question 3
What is your Favorite type of Movie?
A. Comedy
B. Horror
C. Musical
D. Romance
E. Documentary
f. Mystery

Question 4
Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these choices?
A. Waiter/waitress
B. sports Player
C. Teacher
D. Poilceofficer
E. Bartender
E. Business Person

Question 5.
which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?
A. Work Out
B. Make out
C. Watch TV
D, Listen to the Radio
E. Sleep
F. Read

Question 6
Of the following colours, which do you like the best
A. Yellow
B. White
C. Sky Blue
D. Teal
E. Gold
F. Red

Question 7
Which One of the Following would you like to eat right now?
A. Ice Cream
B. Pizza
C. Sushi
D. Pasta
E. Salad
F. Lobster Tail

Question 8.
Which is your favorite Holiday?
A. Halloween
B. Christmas
C. New Year's
D. Valentine's Day
E. Thanksgiving
F. Fouth of July

Question 9
if you could go to any of the following places, which one would it be?
A. Reno
B. Spain
C. las Vegas
D. Hawaii
E. Hollywood
F. British Columbia

Question 10
of the following, who would you rather spend time with?
A. Someone who is Smart
B. Someone with good looks
C. Someone who is a party animal
D. Someone who has fun all the time
E. Someone who is very emotional
F. Someone who is fun to be with

Now total up yur points on each question
1. a-4 b-3 c-5 d-1 e-3-f-6
2. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3 f-6
3. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5 f-6
4. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1 f-6
5. a-5 b-4 c-e d-1 e-3 f-6
6. a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4 f-6
7. a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5 f-6
8. a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5 f-6
9. a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3 f-6
10. a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4 f-6

Now take your total and find out which Movie Star you are:

(10 - 17 Points) You are MADONNA:

you are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. you know what you are doind through, and ar emuch in control of your own life. People don't always see things your way, but that doesn't mean that you should do away with your beliefs. try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others

(18-26 points) You are DORIS DAY:

You ar efun, friendly, and popular! you are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the Values that your mother taught you. MArriage and children are very importaqnt to you, but only after you have fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray.

(27-34 Points) You are DEBBIE REYNOLDS:

you are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You neer hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers, and you are worry-free.

(35-42points) You are GRACE KELLY:

You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments and are a family person. You call your Mum every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confuses with the real thing.

(43-50 Points) You are KATHERINE HEPBURN:

You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very Healthy in mind and body. you don't take crap from anyone. You have only a couple of individuals that you consider "real friends". You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in tehm, but don't overlook a bad situation with it does happen.

(51-60 Points) You are ELIZABETH TAYL

I can remember some time ago now, I must have been about 15. myself and my sister Caran and my mum, were heading to my gran Doc's house. We all got out the car, me and Caran slammed the 2 doors at the same time, only my thumb got stuck in between the two doors, I was screaming like made and all my mum and Caran could do was laugh, it must have took about 5 minutes for one of them to open the bloody door, you should have seen the state of my thumb.