i really don't have alot of people that i can trust....
....or that i THINK i can trust at least.
There are very few people that i truly respect and trust. Those are the people i need to grab onto and stay friends with for as long as i can.
Beauty doesn't really help you at all and it doesn't really matter either. Some people don't realise this, but it's true! I actually wish i was ugly sometimes!
I wouldn't get attacked,
Discriminated,
Hassled,
Judged,
Hurt or anything!
I would just be seen for who i was and treated fairly. Instead there is people that are constantly hurting me and they don't even realise it sometimes. Self-centred people.
I always hide what i feel and i guess that's gradually breaking me down slowly but i really don't think i can tell anyone how i feel anymore.
There's probably only one person i tell everything to and they trust me and tell me everything back. && i love them for it.

take care x
kee <3

WELL, the past 3 weeks have been pretty busy!

-Workexperience 10am-7pm for 2 weeks.
-Science Exams
-Retreat at Walsingham house, Canvey Island, Essex
-Confirmation
-School
-Late & long phone calls
-Sleepover
-Party
-Brentwood

ok, pinoy oriental, work experience, had a great time there! It did get tiring. Met some really nice people. Met my brother Francis (Y) lol. Ate Haydee, Jim, Jona, Clem, Anton, Michelle, Joseph and blah blah blah. Met the neighbourhood pervert (LOL).. Won't say anymore apart from how i loved every minute of it!

Science Exams: Easy enough, done higher on both..hope i get good! I didn't revise at all only done a quick flick of the book.

Retreat: OMG OMG OMG! i loved going on this! i thought it would be really shit but it wasn't! I went there straight after my last day at work exp. Got a coach with my church confirmation group. When we got there at 8pm we got into groups, met people. Done loads of activities till 11.30 then obviously we had to go pray... =.=" LOL. then we went to our rooms. i shared a room with lorraine and susan
Went sleep at like 12.00am we was bare tiredd.
woke up at 6am to have a shower. OMFG, there was only 3 showers and theres 3 toilets opposite yeah...i went down there with bare feet and GUESS WHAT WAS ON THE FLOOR!
FCKN YELLOW PUDDLES! can't people piss properly or something...yeh anyways. i went in and found out that the showers there are like them ones where you have to press the fckn button every 5 seconds >=[. i pressed it to see if it was hot...(with all my clothes and stuff on) and the water came straight at me and the shower curtains wer all mouldy and shit.
fckn disgusting mateee!
then yeah had breakfast at 8.30am, toast (Y) everything else was grose.
after that..PRAYER TIME obv. =.=" then we done activites and one was where we had to paint our picture of god, and i was really bored so i drew like alot and everyone was staring at me and going..can i buy that off you for 40 pounds pleasee?! gayners.
then yeah..
food was really shit for lunch so we all went out and bought chinese for ourselves! LOL i got satay chicken and everyone else got chow mein 8-)
When we walked down the main high street in canvey island the first thing we realised was that EVERYONE and i mean EVERYONE was WHITE. EVERYONE was staring at us :S cos you know we were all either black or filipino. When we all walked past this old lady she started clutching on to her handbag bares like we was gonna jack her or something. lool.
and yeh won't bother talking about the rest of the 2 days 'cos this is getting long.

School...i officially hate stratty.

Late&long phone calls with Joshua. that little shit. wouldn't let me hang up!

Sleepover at twinkles. was cool. played mario kart with her lil bro HAHA and he kept on saying i was cheating when i won. goshh. stayed up till 3am i think. we were watching cinderella story tehe.
Next day it was her birthday and yeh..basically played mario kart aswell and then went home but i was meat to go back but i couldn't and yeh. My dad went hospital..that's why

Brentwood on the 15th March.
Yeah well i went to brentwood with my conifirmation group at 1pm. We had this whole mass with 700 other confirmation people in brentwood cathedral. Met the bishop and everything!
AND OMG! i saw everyone from St. Josephs there! ALL MY OLD FRIENDS AND EVERYTHING! my old classmates aswell i was soo happy talked to a few parents aswell. everyone has changed so much! i can't believe it! i miss you lot already!
then yeah, this famous father came called Fr. Stan and he is from New York. he sings and raps and stuff and yeah, i couldn't understand a word he was saying...LOL
we starved cos we never knew we had to bring our own food and we wasn't allowed to go KFC cos there was no "adult" to take us or something >=[
then we had 6.30 mass till 7.30 then we finally left! yay.

and yeah basically thats been my 3 weeks so far

Well, the last few days have been greatt!
Monday - went out to lunch, went to see punam, played the wii withh her AND WON ALL THE GAMESS! LOL!
so punam's just a sore loser
walked home thruu the park. nice walk actually.

Tuesday - Went to stratford, bought Joop for ronie the gayy, But it's okay cos it was punam's money. lol. Then Rianna came round mine Laughed at my mom. =D umm donee some dancingg made a videoo Rejected Ronie. muahaha. umm played on msn
discovered a new letter!! ¥ < ZOMG. had some spaghetti then yeah!

Wednesday - Got ready, Leydia came round. Checked out her new phonee!! lol LG cookie.
went to the top floor, startedd chatting about things. Decided to make a video to "save a room for me" by vibekingz. Decided to dance to diva aswell! We was in that room that you can see into. HAHA everytime there was a double decker bus coming past we like duckedd. then of course there were some perverts walking past and when they saw us, leydia being leydia, was like wavingg LOL then when they waved back she got freaked out and turned the lights off =.=" LOL. we went to the shops....edited the video [ fustratingg ] went downstairs. american pie happened to be on. LOL so we watched it but i got fed up cos i've seen it soo many times and switched to 90210. KAMRAN kept calling us. >=[ that shitheadd. lol. but we just ignored him. how silly ^-^"
and then we went to bed at like 3am. (Y)

The next morning...woke up at 11. had 100 views on our video. had some SHIT breakfast. got ready. went to green street. eyebrows (Y) then went for a little walk. on the bus saww some peng chinois. LOL went home. leydia wanted to make ANOTHER video. so i was like "aight then =.=" but we'll do it to tokyo drift, NOT neyo >=/" SO WE DID!

Today i have to go to joselyn's rehearsal in some hall in leytonstone. meetin tammy at 3 and getting the 257, stayin there till 6 (Y) fun fun fun. and ANOTHER stabbing outside maryland station. so diversions.

but yeah have to goo noww!
bye bye lovelyy's. ^-^"
<3

ARGH! i just came home, took me 2 hours to get home! >=( Traffic is bare badd cos of that stabbing outside maryland station. They found the 18 yr old lying on that zebra crossing.
Police everywhere today! alll aroundd leytonstone and stratford.

bare tiredd now ): so byee! lol. ^-^