1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that"s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don"t lie and try to pretend you're cool....because your not, your on Bebo.


IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?


Opening Credits:
Talisman - Air

Waking Up:
Gematria (The Killing Name) - Slipknot

First Day At School:
Hanging Around - The Cardigans

Falling In Love:
Let Forever be - The Chemical Brothers

Losing Virginity:
Fuckoff Is Not The Only Thing You Have To Show - CSS

Fight Song:
All I want - The Offsprings

Break Up:
Meet My Maker - Good Charlotte

Prom:
Happy Man - Seasick Steve

Life:
It wasn't Enough - Good Charlotte

Mental Breakdown:
Learn - Lamb

Driving:
Simple Lies - Endo

Flashback:
Pretty Little Dum Dum - Anastacia

Getting Back Together:
Snuff - Slipknot

Wedding:
The Real Thing - Gwen Stefani

Birth of Child:
Becoming X - Sneaker Pimps

Final Battle:
Extraordinary Girl - Green Day

Death Scene:
Fall to Pieces - Avril Lavigne

Funeral Song:
Lumina - Joan Osborne

End Credits:
Virgin State of Mind - K's Choice

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. - Don Schrader

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it bring.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

What would we do without our friends?
A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting on the bench next to you saying, "Damn that was fun!"

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say, "It's because your gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will help you when you fall, but a best friend will keep walking and say, "Walk much, dumbass?"

A good friend will lend you an umbrella in the rain, but a best friend will take yours and say, "Run, bitch, run!"

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel, but a best friend just sits down and cries.

A good friend sits on the edge of the pool with you in 'that time of the month', but a best friend gives you a tampon and pushes you in.

A best friend is the type of person who can see you with the biggest smile on your face and still know something's wrong.

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER: When you hurt, I hurt. When you cry, I cry. When you fight, I fight. When you jump off a bridge, I get a paddle and save your retarded ass.

Location: Cafe on the Row
Laura, waiter and myself
Waiter: Are ye ready?
Laura: Yup, I'll just have tea.
Me: You not eating anything?
Laura: Erm, I'll have a portion of chips.
Waiter: And you?
Me: I'll just have a mocha, thank you.
*Laura stares at me weirdly*



Location: Hong Kong Restaurant
Peter and myself
Peter: Well today sucks.
Me: Sure if it's a good day or bad day, you still gotta go through it, might as well do it smiling.
Peter: Wow, that's very deep, who said it?
Me: (with puzzled look) I just made that up, why are people taking me seriously?



NOTE: You must know Chinese to understand this one, even then, it's kinda a private joke that only Kenny, his friend, Vincent and myself would understand but trust me, it's BRILLIANT!!
Location: Hong Kong Restaurant
Kenny and myself
Kenny: What you gotta do is use the Tiger palm attack and followed by the Preying Mantis Pincer attack.



Location: Hong Kong, actual Hong Kong
William, Vicky, Vincent, Micheal and myself (though Vicky, Vincent and Micheal were just there laughing)
William: I swear if you ring me at one in the morning again, I'll kill you.(directed at me, obviously, who else?)
Me: (looking puzzled and spoke in a serious voice)What are you on about?
William: You rang me to tell me to unplug your stupid charger at one last night!!!
Me: (still in my serious act)Are you sure it wasn't a dream?
William: What?(thinks for a few seconds..........sees Vick, Vince and Mike laughing) I'm gonna kill you.

P.S. I would have gotten away with it if the three of them didn't start laughing their heads off.



Location: Mollys
Sarah and myself(was meeting up with Shona for her 18th)
Me: Hey, so where's Shona?
Sarah: She's in the crowd there.(points at a MASSIVE crowd)
Me: (looking ashamed) Erm, you're gonna have to help me.
Sarah: With what?
Me: I forgot what she looks like.



Location: T.D. Classroom(getting our results back)
Graeme, Mister Long and myself
Me: (half dead over the table, had really bad hay fever)Graeme, do me a favour, when he calls my name, go get it for me.(head falls back on the table)
Mister Long: Kevin Chow.(Graeme goes up to get it and Long looks at him) I called out Kevin's name.
Graeme: Yeah but (looks back me, still half dead over the table, looks at Long) he's incapacitated at the moment.
Me: (lifts head up)I'm not incapacitated!!!! (lose strength and my head falls back on the table with a giant thud)




Location: The dojo(Mike showing the newbies some locks on me)
Mike, a few newbies and myself
Mike: Cross grab.(I cross grab to his shoulder and he tells the newbies) Oh this is Kevin's favourite.
Me: This is my what?
At this point, Mike utilized at wrist lock of some sort forcing me to the ground spinning me around and locking my arm.
Me: What the hell just happened?



Location: Corn Market(Conor and myself getting drinks)
Conor and some random girl
Conor: (to the girl)Hey you in UL?
Girl: Yeah.
Conor: Ah, I've seen you around.
Girl: (sincerely)That is such a good chat up line.

NOTE to Lorraine, lock up your man.



Location: Class room, free class
Pa and myself.
Pa: Getting Mac soon, I'm counting the days man.
Me: Ya gotta love them Macs.
Pa: A love for a woman or a love for a fine Cuban cigar?
Me: I hope they send your laptop to Cuba.
Pa: I HATE YOU.



Location: Home texting Kat
Kat and myself, duh
Kat: Oh I saw someone like you today and thought it was you.
Me: Was it Vincent or Jackie?
Kat: No no no, he wasn't Asian.
Me:WHAT!?


Location: Hong Kong Airport
Keith, Warren, Vince, some kids, my Panda Cushion and Myself
Vincent: You sure you don't wanna check that Cushion.
Me: Nah, want something comfy to hold onto for the next 15 hours.
Keith: You're gonna attract more attention than usual.
Me: No I'm not(little kids poke at my cushion from behind)GET AWAY FROM THE PANDA!!!!


Location: Home textin