Decky Alcock once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Decky Alcock can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Decky Alcock counted to infinity - twice.

Decky Alcock calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Decky Alcock.

Decky Alcock ' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Decky Alcock does not sleep. He waits.

Decky Alcock can speak braille.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Decky Alcock sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Decky Alcock doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Decky Alcock puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

If you spell Decky Alcock wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Decky Alcock?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Decky Alcock owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

On a high school math test, Decky Alcock put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Decky Alcock solves all his problems with Violence.

Decky Alcock can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Decky Alcock once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Decky Alcock can delete the Recycling Bin.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Decky Alcock.

Once a cobra bit Decky Alcock 's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Decky Alcock was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Decky Alcock died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Decky Alcock does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Decky Alcock goes killing.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Decky Alcock says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Decky Alcock can slam revolving doors.

Superman owns a pair of Decky Alcock pajamas.

Decky Alcock doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Decky Alcock sleeps with a night light. Not because Decky Alcock is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Decky Alcock

Decky Alcock secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Decky Alcock runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

Decky Alcock can kill two stones with one bird.

Decky Alcock ‘s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Decky Alcock was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Decky Alcock doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

In 1991, Decky Alcock shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 stroke

If you spell Decky Alcock in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Decky Alcock doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Decky Alcock as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Decky Alcock once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Decky Alcock allows to live

B0LLIX - Ross Munnely or any Laois players or supporters.

MIGHTY - Very good.

HAMES - A right ****. e.g. - "He made a hames of that chance."

TIMBER - Intimidation of a hurling opponent. e.g. - "Show him some timber."

LAMP - A good thump. e.g. - "I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back."

A CROWD - A gathering of people who watch a match and hope for random acts
of violence. e.g. - Meath supporters.

SCHKELP - To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures. e.g. - "That hure from Tipp took a schkelp outta me leg."

HATCHET MAN - Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts.

BULLIN' - Angry. e.g.- "The centre half was bullin' after I lamped him."

BULL THICK - Very angry. e.g.- "The centre half was bull thick after I lamped him again."

JOULT - A push. e.g.- "I gave him ! a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks."

BUSHTED - An undefined soreness. e.g.- "Jayz me arm is bushted."

THE BOMBER - Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player

A HANG SANGWIDGE - Consumed with "tay" on the sides of roads after matches in Croker or Thurles, usually contains half a pound of butter.

RAKE - A great amount of anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match.

INDANAMAJAYSUS - In-da-nama-Jaysus, what was that for ref?

YA B0LLIX YA - Corner back's formal recognition of a score by his opponent.

LEH-IT-IN-TA-FUCK-WUD-YA - Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass.

MULLOCKER - Untidy or awkward player released for matches.

BURST THE B0LLIX - Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man.

ROW - Disagreement involving four or more players.

MASSIVE ROW - Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and supporters jumping fences.

ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE - A massive row that continues out in the parking area or
dressing room areas, usually resolved by the Gardai

Well leave a memory ya have of me, go an... For the good times haha!!