You know your a MAORI when.........

(yes, I stole this from my mates page!!)

-You go to the ball with your cousin.

-Someone in your family got pregnant at 15.

-A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose.

-You have to do dishes more than 3 times a day.

-Breakfast is the left over food from last night.

-You organise for a get together at 2 o'clock, and everyone shows up at 5.

-You get a hiding with a jandal/gumboot/chord/spoon

-You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks.

-You visit cuzzies, and someone's wearing the clothes you left behind last time.

-You and your cousins sit around, and dis everyone who walks past.

-You have brothers or sisters with different mothers or fathers.

-You have 6 people in the back seat of the car.

-You go home after school on a Wednesday, and your parents are having a party.

-In a photo, someone's pulling some kind of gang related hand signal.

-Your mum cuts your hair cos you keep getting kutu's.

-Your at a party, and your aunty turns the stereo off then starts playing the guitar.

-You know all the words to 10 guitars.

-You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae.

-The words 'ow' 'chur' and 'sweet' are part of your vocabulary. ;(

-you go to school to eat the other kids lunch

-you go to school to watch the teacher teach the other kids

-you give the pakeha kid a hiding for calling you dumb

- bullrush was your favourite sport

-you think ur tribe is the best in the world

-your older brother makes you cry and your the one who gets a hiding for crying

-all your marbles are ball bearings and you try to pass them off as steelies

-Hello and goodbye is said by raising your eyebrows.

-you laughed at how the crocodile hunter died.

-your jandals / gumboots are: ur running shoes, ur work shoes, ur flippers and ur going out shoes.

-your swimming togs are shorts and t-shirt. (and ur in Maui, Hawaii, where all they wear is bikinis).

-you do bombs at the public pools where it says no bombing.

-brushing your hair is ... just putting on a beanie.

-your Dad is also your Koro

-you start driving, smoking and drinking when you are in form one

-you're good at touch

-at least one of your relations is a Coconut

-you cant speak Maori but are fluent when you are drunk

-you laugh at everyone who cant sing

-you laugh at everyone who cant dance

-you laugh at everyone who cant do both at the same time

-your at a party with the guitar and everyone only knows half the words to all the songs u sing

-you go to a party and at least a couple of ur relatives are sleeping on the table

-you go to a party in three days time and its still going

-you go to a party and they start passing round da cowboy hat 4 beers

-you go diving with one flipper

-playing the spoons is right up there for percussion to the guitar.

-gumboots, jandals & a swandri are all considered #1's. : L

-the whanau hangi sacks and baskets get passed down to you

-rotten foods are a delicacy

-you try the whakapapa/tino rangatiratanga line to get into a public event ... Fucking Maoris!!!