1. Never leave a fellow crasher behind.Crashers take care of there own.

2. Never use your real name.

3. Never confess.

4. No one goes home alone.

5. Never let a girl get between you and a fellow crasher.

6. Do not sit in the corner and sulk.It draws attention in a negative way.Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.

7. Blend in by standing out.

8. Be the life of the party.

9. Whatever it takes to get in, get in.

10. Invitations are for pussies.

11. Sensitive is good.

12. When it stops being fun, break something.

13. Bridesmaids are desperate - console them.

14. You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.

15. Fight the urge to tell the truth.

16. Always have an up-to-date family tree.

17. Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.

18. You love animals and children.

19. Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast.Do not wing it.

20. The older the better, the younger the better.(See Rule Below)

21. Definitely make sure she's 18.

22. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal.No overtime.

23. There's nothing wrong with having seconds.Provided there is enough women to go around.

24. If you get outted, leave calmly.Do not run.

25. You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.

26. Of course you love her.

27. Don't over drink.The machinery must work in order to close.

28. Make sure there's an open bar.

29. Always be a team player.Everyone needs a little help now and again.

30. Know the playbook so you can pull an audible.

31. If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow crashers know.

32. Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.

33. Never go back to your place.

34. Be gone by sunrise.

35. Breakfast is for closers.

36. Your favourite movie is ''The English Patient''.

37. At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max.A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.

38. Never hit on the bride!It's a one-way ticket to the pavement.

39. The way to a woman's bed is through the dancefloor.

40. Dance with old folks and the kids.The girls will think you're ''sweet''.

41. Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.

42. At the service, sit in the fifth row.It's close enough to the wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest.Never sit in the back.The back row smells like crashing.

43. Create an air of mystery that involves some painfull experience when interacting with the girl you're after.But don't talk about it.Allude to it.Then walk away.She'll follow.

44. Always remember your fake name!

45. The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred.Don't sully them by ''improvising''.

46. You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.

47. Make sure all the single women know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible break-up or the death of your fiance.

48. Always work the following into a conversation:''Yeah,I have tons of money.But how does one buy happiness?''

49. Be pensive!It draws out the ''healer'' in women.

50. Always pull out in time.

51. Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.

52. Get choked up during the service.The girls will think you're ''sensitive''.Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.

53. Avoid virgins.They're too clingy.

54. If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle Ned.Everyone has an Uncle Ned.

55. Don't fixate on one woman.ALWAYS have a back-up.

56. When seeing a rival crasher, do not interact.Merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.

57. The Ferrari's in the shop.

58. If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield.

59. No ''chicken dancing'' - no exceptions.

60. When crashing out of state,

The Best of 2008 are..............................

Album: late of the pier - fantasy black channel or We are Scientists - brain thrust mastery

Song: Has ta be MIA - Paper Planes!!!

Best Movie: the Dark knight obviously

Worse Movie: Sex in the city!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best TV Show: ahhh defo Fonejacker and Flight of The Conchords

Worse TV Show: No Doubt Sex in the city!!! wat a loada dick!

Actor: D fella who plays McLovin in superbad

Actress: cant tink of any so il say Lyndsey Lohan

Hero: Martin O'Neill, Barrack Obama and John who works in the snackery

Retard: Most definitely that tramp Kerry katona!!!!

Villan: Steve Staunton!..thats probably a bit harsh!..

Sexiest Male: Ohhh hands down Sean Whelan

Sexiest Female: Ohhh hands down Katy Perry followed closely by Caroline O'Hurley

Best Event: probably oxegen in the ribena tent!!! fiona eatin the tent, hungry eyes everywere and no gravy on anyones fukin hotdog please!!ha

Worst Event: generally all the recent rugby and football events involving ireland six nations, euro 2008 etc....

Best Concert: ohhhhh a few!! we are scientists in the ambassador!! vampire weekend in d ambo!! and bloc party in the ambo!!!!

Biggest Shock: Joe Dolan!!!...RIP Homie!

Best Quote: ohhh thats a toughy!!!.....probly go wit...."I dont want any fuckin gravy on my hotdog!"

Greatest Achiever: ehh jason keegan best part timer 2008!...

Greatest Non Achiever: Me!....sadly no awards for best on tills 2008!!

Best Club: HAHA WHELANS!!!!! Moutherfuckers!!! and Aston Villa football Club

Best Nite-out: Impossible to choose one!!....but the nite wen emma broke her leg was a gud one ha or the free o'hurley gaff in maynooth!..

Hopes for 2009: Loads but two main ones....Villa finishin in fourth and gettin a 1:1 r a 2:1 degree!! iv only one shot at that ye know!

Ron Burgundy: [to dog] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.

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Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...

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Frank Vitchard: I am gonna straight-up murder your ass.

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Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh.
Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.
Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people
Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick.

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Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team.
Ron Burgundy: That's a given.
Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.

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Veronica Corningstone: This is pathetic.
Ron Burgundy: You're pathetic.

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Ron Burgundy: Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel 4 News exclusive. Brian?
Brian Fantana: Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.
[to the Panda]
Brian Fantana: Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk.
Ron Burgundy: Great story. Compelling, and rich.

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Veronica Corningstone: Take me to Pleasure Town.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, we're going there.

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Ron Burgundy: [riding unicorns through cartoon Pleasure Town] Look, the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Oh. Do me on it.

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Brian Fantana: [about Veronica] I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
[opens cologne cabinet]
Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
[cheesy grin]
Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.
Brian Fantana: Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
[snarls]

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Champ Kind: What's it like, Ron?
Ron Burgundy: The intimate times? Outta sight, my man.
Brian Fantana: No, the other