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A Rich Man's Luck
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- Profile views: 1,830
- Profile created: March 2007
- www.bebo.com/richmansluck
- Category:
- Science
- Me, Myself, and I
- It is a short story about a Man named Rupert who was once one of the richest single men alive is reduced to near homelessness, in a future based fiction. His plight was caused by a catastrophic event which he blamed on a french astro-engineering company. After years of planning and hard work to build his tools of destruction he takes his revenge against the big player in his downfall. After all concievable evidence against him has been destroyed nothing can possibly go wrong...
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- Maybe, if you will bother to proof read it once ur done!
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Philip Day7/27/08have slightly edited the story, no plot has changed at all, but I went through fixing typos spellnig mistakes, adding a bit of punctuation and the sort. So hopefully it will read a little better now. Cheers, Philip Day
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Jimmie Oliver2/7/08Hey fellow-author, If you are a self-respecting bookworm, then you could do a lot worse than read through extracts of my new book on www.bebo.com/JadedGoodie The 288-page publication can be ordered from Amazon.ca or Waterstones and is due out at the beginning of March. Best wishes to you
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Andrew Langworthy5/31/07Saying that, I gave it four stars because I liked it
I would love to read a sequel? or a prequel? If you get the time, would you like to read either http://StoriesFromEggy.bebo.com or http://EssaysFromEggy.bebo.com many thanks
- 5/3/07
- 5/3/07
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Philip Day3/18/07
Now story is out, i'm not That happy with it, but i can't really be bothered to work out what i don't like so it's all yours to either rip apart or enjoy! Phil P.s. it's another science one, it's called: The Force of Terror Enjoy all!
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Philip Day3/11/07
Hey guys, a new story coming out probably tomorrow depending on ho much time I have. It's retty much done i think. It'll probably be called Search for the (insert word/group here) lol i'm not quite decided yet, just thought i'd give the heads up. Phil
Honest Review as Requested (ages ago, mind. Sorry) Try cutting down that bit long chunk of text that starts 'Rupert was not a fan…'
by Honest Book Reviews 10/25/08I'm not usually one for this genre, but as a newbie I found it very technical and thus a little difficult to get into the story. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, since it depends really on who your audience and whether they're familiar with sci-fi like this. For example, some of the previous reviewers enjoyed it more because they were more used to sci-fi. What I mean is that it isn't instantly accessible to a wide audience.
Story-wise, it works quite well (though I admit I had to reread) but I'm not sure how much more advice I can offer you. On the whole, only a few minor slip-ups with spelling. ('Barron rocks' = 'barren') Your style, though very technical, was mature and it's obvious you know your space, which is always important when writing to such a specific genre.
I'm sorry I can't be of much help and also very sorry for the long wait.
Honest
WOW wow that was good, intresting, very intresting. good description and very good detail. Good work!
by David Petersen 5/31/07I liked it :) I really liked this story, my criticism in a moment. Firstly, i loved the nice subtle humour in the story. "The other was about the size of a quark. It was later found to be a quark," This just made me smile, I do not know why. It sounds rather pratchett like, i think. Other humour was nice too. The attention to detail was good, but you did it without boring me, which I also liked.
by Andrew Langworthy 5/31/07My criticism: Sometimes the humour was just a little blatent for my liking. But that is just personal preference. But usually it was good
Secondly, I got the impression that some of the story didn't make sense. Why was the wormhole scene in there? But that may have just been my reading rather than your fault.
Lastly, (well, this isnt really criticism) it could have been longer! You could have written pages and pages on that, filling out the story and even adding more bits to it.
Oh, and I didn't like the very detached writing style, but that is personal preference again.
(continued in comment)
Oh, wow. Attention to detail is wonderful.
by Michelle Lokket 3/13/07Especially in that last paragraph.
Wow. Scenes like that are so hard to pull off without making them sound too choppy or melodramatic. But I must say, you did an excellent job.
An effusive review Very impressed, someone obviously likes sci-fi...an impressive array of techno-babble
. Liked the twist at the end, as well as some French-bashing. A most enjoyable read, with a good blend of tension and humour, juxtaposing the elements of the ridiculous which complement the pathos, highlighted by the *insert posh literary term here*. Effusive enough? 
by Katie S. 3/11/07Good, A good read. Amusing moments well presented through imaginative plot line, full of querky details, well worth the 5 minutes..
by James Way 3/4/07toodle pip